hump this

we’re back to the perfumed garden for advice on a delicate matter

In the case of the man being obese and the woman being thin, the best course is to let the woman take the active part. To this end, the man lies down on his back with his thighs close together, and the woman lowers herself upon his member, If she knows how to move, she can rise and sink upon it; if she is not adroit enough, the man imparts a movement to her buttocks by the play of one of his thighs behind them. But if the man assumes this position, it may sometimes become prejudicial to him, inasmuch as some of the female sperm may penetrate into his urethra, and grave malady may ensue.

I will now speak to you of sex with those who are little, in consequence of being humpbacked.

First, there is the man who is crookbacked, but whose spine and neck are straight. For him it is most convenient to unite himself with a little woman. Placing himself behind her posterior, he thus introduces his member into her vulva. If the woman be afflicted with a hump and the man is straight, the same position is suitable. In the case of a man whose malformation affects only his neck, he can take any position he likes for doing the business. If the woman is lying on her back, he will appear in action as if he were butting at her like a ram. The most convenient position for them will be that the woman should stoop down, and he attack her from behind. If a little woman is lying on her back, with a humpbacked man upon her belly, he will look like the cover over a vase.

It is said that there are women of great experience who, lying with a man, elevate one of their feet vertically in the air, and upon that foot a lamp is set full of oil, and with the wick burning. While the man is ramming them, they keep the lamp steady and burning, and the oil is not spilled. Their coition is in no way impeded by this exhibition, but it must require great previous practice on the part of both.

Published in: on October 30, 2008 at 6:58 am  Comments (21)  

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21 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I am *not* putting a burning lamp anywhere near me. Odd people.

    And Nurse M…are you going to smoosh your boobies?

  2. dolce, I just left a comment on daisyfae’s blog about how I keep forgetting to borrow some paint from the gimcrack. I’ve just drawn a big “P” on my hand to remind me so hopefully this weekend…..

  3. ‘ the female sperm may penetrate into his urethra, and grave malady may ensue.’

    Good lord what a bother that would be!

    Is the genie costume the best one ever… I think it is… or was it just a young nubile Barbara Eden.

  4. Balancing an oil lamp on your foot while… OK, I would pay to see that. “Great previous practice” indeed!

  5. Is that lady sitting on her own head?

  6. I believe she is

  7. Female sperm? Oil lamps balanced on feet? Methinks Senor Burton may have smoked a bit too much hashish while translating it.

    You want translating entertainment, plug a page into 😉

  8. I think I saw that oil lamp trick at a performance of the Peking Acrobats.

  9. That oil lamp thingie sounds like a house afire to me. I don’t think I could do it even with great practice.

  10. Humpbacked fucking. jeese. where do you find this stuff?

    it’s all in the perfumed garden. perhaps they had a plethora of hunchbacks back then?

  11. I fear I have a grave malady – – –

  12. re the balancing oil lamp trick … I just have to say ‘don’t try this at home folks without the aide of a safety net and first aider on standby’ 😉

  13. I’m not obese, but I like lady on top taking an active part.

  14. Wish I’d known all this stuff years ago ……

  15. Balancing the lamp, Tink is a hairy guy, I am more worried about him catching fire than I am the house.

    I concur….hunchback humping????


  16. after watching that video of tink eating some wriggly stuff I’m just worried about him in general…..

  17. Save The Humpback!

    oh. no. wait… that’s the whales. nevermind…. [returns to celebratory alcoholic vat]

  18. UncleKeith’s got the right idea. Sometimes us guys need a breather.

  19. Pffft big deal about a little old oil lamp. In ‘Ahfreekha’ girls balance 44 gallon drums. Full drums by the way. Yip we sure are lucky.

  20. Never realized humpbacks could be so versatile – or so violent.

  21. I HOPE so! *grin*

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