if it works for an ox…..

a few days ago nursemyra was recommending the use of cabbage. Cato advocated not just consuming the vegetable, he believed drinking the urine of someone who has eaten cabbage also helped fend off illness. Some of his other cures were applicable to humans as well as to the livestock on a farm.

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“if you have reason to fear illness, before the patient/oxen gets sick give them the following remedy:

3 grains of salt, 3 laurel leaves, 3 spikes of leek, 3 of garlic, 3 grains of incense, 3 plants of Sabine herb, 3 leaves of rue, 3 stalks of briony, 3 white beans 3 live coals and 3 pints of wine.

You must gather, macerate and administer all these things while standing, and he who administers the remedy must be fasting. Administer to each ox or to each patient for 3 days and divide it in such a way that when you have administered 3 doses to each you have used it all. See to it that the patient and the one who administers it are both standing and use a wooden vessel.

Next year (2009) is the Year of the Ox. Apparently the ox rules between the hours of 1:00 am and 3:00 am and often appears rigid and slow: sounds like a good recommendation for a lover. Their greatest enemy is the Sheep which seems strange to me – couldn’t an ox just sit on a sheep if it were misbehaving? and then perhaps sell its stomach to make pretty lamps like these

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 until I started looking for images to illustrate this post I was unaware of how popular sheep are…..

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doesn’t this chair look comfortable? I want one for the gimcrack

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and a usb sheep lamp to match.

sheep get mentioned in films occasionally. Amost everyone has seen Silence of the Lambs but how many of you know about New Zealand’s contribution to the niche market that is sheep cinema? Whatever you do, don’t watch the trailer before bedtime….. 

Published in: on November 18, 2008 at 7:38 am  Comments (28)  

hectic radiance

Back in 1895, R.V. Pierce M.D. had a lot to say about thinking too much:

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The production of thought wears away the gray matter of the cerebrum as surely as the digging of a canal wears away the iron particles of the spade. Rigorous application of the intellectual faculties consumes the blood, exhausts the vital forces, weakens the organic functions, while pallor covers the face, and the eyes sparkle with a hectic radiance.

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What results follow the excessive exercise of the EMOTIVE FACULTIES? 

If the emotions be acute and vehement, they  will revel in their culminating and delightful experiences. They exhaust all the bodily energies, and a functional suspension, termed ecstasy, follows. It is a swooning, or fainting, accompanied by involuntary movements of the arms, smiting of the hands, sighing, and short ejaculatory expressions of rapture. This condition is contagious, often spreading with mysterious rapidity. When the emotive faculties are suddenly and powerfully excited the individual swoons from sheer exhaustion.

Ordinary exercise leads to CALMNESS.
Proper exercise HAPPINESS.
Increased exercise ECSTASY.
Excessive exercise SYNCOPE.
Prolonged exercise TRANCE.
Fatal exercise MORTALITY

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hmmmmm……. it’s hard to know what “exercise” Dr Pierce is referring to here. Perhaps to be on the safe side, just follow the advice of Mark Twain who said “when I feel the urge to exercise, I lay down until it passes.” unless of course it’s the type that results in short ejaculatory expressions of rapture…….

bayros-the-messenger

The Messenger by Bayros

Published in: on November 17, 2008 at 7:04 am  Comments (21)  

ejaculation fractation

when couples are failing to conceive, they often turn to IVF specialists for semen analysis. specimen collection timing should be as close to normal ejaculation frquency as possible. If, for example, a man ejaculates infrequently his sample will contain a higher than expected number of dead sperm and sloughed off cells.

it’s extremely important to collect the entire specimen because the concetration of sperm varies in different portions of your ejaculate.  For 90% of the male population, the first squirt (ejaculate fraction) contains more sperm than later portions. You cannot collect a good sample by withdrawing your penis during sex and taking examples of remaining squirts.

Men who are diabetics frequently have a condition called retrograde ejaculation. It occurs when the bladder sphincter muscle, which normally directs sperm out through the penis does not close and semen squirts back into the bladder instead.

the WHO says 50 million sperm per ejaculate is now the norm. 25 years ago it was 100 million. It appears that a combination of environment and lifestyle is gradually degrading sperm counts.

makes you feel kinda sorry for the poor little critters doesn’t it?

Published in: on November 16, 2008 at 6:06 am  Comments (31)  

corset friday 14.11.2008

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Published in: on November 14, 2008 at 12:28 pm  Comments (23)  

personalising the pugnacious

recently we quoted from Dr Gerald Epstein’s morphology page about the four different types of temperament. today he has moved on to personality types according to face shapes.

The earth or square-faced type is feisty, pugnacious, practical, materialistic, needs things, prizes logical thinking, is possessive, demanding, jealous, loyal, dutiful, and extremely competitive.

The saturn or trapezoid type is the most perseverant of all. They are also the most hypersexual, often mistaking sex for love. Saturns take a long time between a thought and an act and are quite ruminative. They are natural researchers and are meticulously attentive to detail.

The uranus, a long trapezoid, is the rarest type. People of this type are visionary thinkers, their ideas being far ahead of their time. They are difficult to relate to since they are intolerant of those who don’t resonate with or understand their ideas. They are the worst dressers having no sense of color coordination.

The mercury or triangular-shaped face is a person who is elusive, reclusive and accommodating to his or her surroundings like a chameleon They are elegant, often performers and entertainers, professors or physicians. (Mercury was the god of medicine, communication, thieves.) They are impatient and are always looking for new sensory impressions. Nancy Reagan, Madonna and Woody Allen are prime examples.

The mars or rectangular type is a gregarious person who is good humored, fickle in relationships, has a short temper and a penchant for war. The mars types are impetuous daredevils who risk life and limb in dangerous actions. They are the army officers and love a good fight. You’ll find many CEOs, surgeons, scientists, sculptors, cartoonists, football players amongst this type. Ronald Reagan is of this type.

The sun, with an oval face, is a natural leader; an individual who does not require intimacy while still being quite gregarious. Sun types are often mislabeled as haughty, snobbish and aloof which is not really the case. They are highly principled and cannot be intimidated. They often gravitate to diplomacy, medicine, high finance or aeronautics.

The venus type, with a lozenge-shaped face, is extroverted and has a lively intelligence. They glory in aesthetics, being related directly to beauty. They are conciliatory by nature, always looking to mediate disputes. Easily flattered, they tend to attract the opposite sex without trouble. They are never in want of a social life, are loving, and tend to talk voluminously. Elizabeth Taylor is the quintessential female venus.

The pluto type, with a hexagonal-shaped face are hugely successful in business, often having a midas touch. They have the most penetrating eyes of any of the types. They are unfazed by life, take things as they come, and don’t fret. Quite strong physically, they are resistant to illness and hardly ever miss work.

The moon individuals, or circular types, have a very slow rhythm, which makes them appear lazy to others. Their moods determine their relationships, they are moody and sensitive, as they feel deeply. They love children and are nurturing by nature. Moon women are dreamy, often poetic, are singers and dancers. For the moon women the bond to their children often supersedes their relationship to their husbands.

The neptune person, with an oblong-shaped face, is a spiritual, innovative, creative individual. Neptunes are musicians, artists, and muses in general. They often dream of angels and need to seek spiritual dimensions early in life. The characteristic trait distinguishing this type is the inability to sustain and to see a relationship clearly. They usually feel confused by relationships.

The jupiter type, with a reverse-trapezoid face, is generous, tolerant, understanding, devoted, objective, and very concerned with justice. Jupiters tend to find injustice everywhere and want to right all wrongs. They are religious by nature and can gravitate to the pulpit or to the judiciary. Their intelligence is synthetic, in that logic and intuition blend together very well, which makes them visionary.

nursemyra is an oval. what shape face do you have?

Published in: on November 13, 2008 at 7:08 am  Comments (32)  

ornament deprivation by dissipation

recently nursemyra was reading a not very well written but nonetheless interesting book about medical murderers, most of whom seemed to be into poisoning their spouses. one of these dastardly doctors was Edward Pritchard and you can read about him on this blog.

The book claimed he was very proud of his fine beard which he combed and trimmed with pomatum every morning. I’d heard of pomade before but not pomatum, they appear to be similar unguents, but don’t confuse them with the recto rotor unguent  will you?

Pomatum, an unguent, formerly prepared from apples, lard, and rosewater, triturated together to the consistency of an ointment. Pomatums are commonly used to dress the hair; and as many are deprived of that ornament, chiefly by dissipation, mercenary adventurers amuse the public with various preparations, which are sold to the credulous with the specious pretence of rendering the hair long and thick.

 

Published in: on November 11, 2008 at 8:11 am  Comments (20)  

morphing into a hypochondriac

Dr Jerry Epstein writes about morphology as a way of reading faces:

In this article, I shall describe the most fundamental and easily graspable morphological element which is temperament. I allude to temperament in noting the four temperamental / humoral types: bilious, lymphatic, sanguine, and nervous. These types are read by looking at the person’s profile.

The bilious are dominant, domineering, bossy, constructors; they have an active practical intelligence and make things happen. They are indefatigable and need very little sleep. When their will is not catered or is thwarted, they tend to become morose and brooding. They require plenty of calcium and vitamin A. They are especially prone to bone injuries, eye and ear problems, gall bladder and liver disturbances.

In the sanguine temperament we find someone who can be defined by two words: acquisitive and territorial. The sanguine need to establish an empire and acquire as much as they can. They are optimistic by nature and extroverted. Being muscularly dominant, they are action-oriented. They love body building, aerobic exercise, and body contact sports. They tend to be bored easily, and to have short attention spans. They learn best by doing, and when they are not active, they literally have no thoughts swirling around. They require vitamins C and E. They are quite vulnerable to cardiovascular problems, muscle injuries and diseases of the genitals.

Nervous types are volatile and hypercritical and quick perceivers. They have high intellect and think abstractly and philosophically. They have an artistic temperament, although their productions tend to be imitative rather than innovative. They are excellent communicators, witty and hypersensitive. They tend to be hypochondriacs, often magnifying trivial injuries into dramatic events of great magnitude. They need adulation, acceptance, approval from the outside world, or they become depressed. Vitamins B1 and magnesium serve them very well. They tend to suffer from ailments of the skin and nervous systems as well as the liver, and often the thyroid gland.

Lymphatic types are devotional. They often have a strong religious inclination and are visionary. They can be dogmatic, authoritarian in their opinions, bombastic, and paternalistic. They seek justice, are companionable, tolerant, and great organizers. Like the sanguines they don’t feel guilt. Lymphatic types can use vitamin B6 as a diuretic. They suffer from endodermally connected organ problems that may involve the lungs, pancreas, intestinal tract or urinary bladder.

The ideal for establishing a successful organization is to have a bilious boss, a sanguine salesperson, a lymphatic organizer, and a nervous ideas man or woman

well that about sums up the gimcrack. how about your workplace?

 

Published in: on November 10, 2008 at 7:07 am  Comments (23)  

the rules of rummaging

the perfumed garden is an authority on so many things

As to coition with old women, it acts like a fatal poison, and it has been said, ‘Do not rummage old women, were they as rich as Karoun.’ And it has further been said, ‘Beware of mounting old women; even if they cover you with favours.’

 

A proverb says also, ‘Do not service an old woman, even if she offered to feed you with semolina and almond bread.’

He who does not want to feel the necessity for coition uses camphor. Half of a mitskal of this substance, macerated in water, makes the man who drinks of it insensible to the pleasures of copulation.

Coitus after a full meal may occasion rupture of the intestines. coition in hot countries may cause sudden blindness without any previous symptoms. It is also not good constantly to wear vestments made of silk, as they impair all the energy for copulation. Silken cloths worn by women also affect injuriously the capacity for erection of the virile member.

The abuse of coition is followed by loss of the taste for its pleasures; and to remedy this loss the sufferer must anoint his member with a mixture of the blood of a he-goat with honey. This will procure for him a marvellous effect in making love.

It is said that reading the Koran also predisposes for copulation…………….

Published in: on November 8, 2008 at 8:32 am  Comments (31)  

corset friday 7.11.08

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Published in: on November 7, 2008 at 7:47 am  Comments (24)  

smooshed mammaries

Olga is promoting breast cancer awareness by asking bloggers to paint their breasts and squash them against paper. sounds easier than it is. here is my contribution.

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and I believe it’s daddyp’s birthday today. many happy returns you loveable old git xxx

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I’ve been scouring the net for some very special presents and am delighted to say these are on their way to you now…..

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hope you enjoy playing with mammaries

Published in: on November 6, 2008 at 8:28 am  Comments (27)