catching crabs

we have a few patients with missing body parts at the gimcrack. some have colostomy bags so they’re obviously minus a part of their bowel. Five of the women have had mastectomies, and there are two diabetics with only one foot.

gene-bilbrew

artwork by Gene Bilbrew

Mister G. has part of an ear missing and Mister K has only three fingers on his left hand. I’m not sure whether or not I should believe him but he says he lost it to a mud crab. I suppose it’s feasible as Australian muddies have fearsome pincers. Just in case you ever come face to face with one here’s how to tie your muddie up tight…..

sometime in the not too distant future scientists hope that humans will be able to grow new body parts to replace those lost through illness or accident. already they have isolated stem cells from a 69 year old man’s fat and used them to cultivate bone for a jaw transplant.

I don’t really get the fetish for missing limbs though I do admire an interesting prosthesis. Viktoria, featured here in Bizarre Magazine, makes being minus a limb look very sexy indeed. There are no photos of Carl Menson on this site but the short interview makes for interesting reading as he describes how to perform a self amputation. Needless to say, that last link is not for the squeamish……..

viktoria

Published in: on December 2, 2008 at 7:28 am  Comments (26)  

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26 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’ve never understood that particular fetish. But then again, it’s a spectrum.

    And sorry I missed Tshirt, Nurse M. Having a shitty month. 😦 I’ll make up for it soon.

  2. Whats Viktoria missing? I dont understand that whole fetish either. But horses for courses and all that.

  3. There is something fishily fetishistic going on here…But I gotta say that pin-up graphic is mighty eye catching.

  4. Dolce: sorry to hear that darlin’, hope things pick up for you soon xx

    Alex: She’s missing over half of her left leg, click the link on her name and you’ll see some more photos

    Necromancer: welcome to the gimcrack, is this your first visit?

  5. … As long as the “third-leg” is intact everything else will work itself out.

  6. Viktoria is STUNNING! very sad story, but she’s done well… As for “How to Tie Your Muddie”? That’s getting printed and handed out to all visitors to my ofice. There are skills that everyone must learn – keeping your fingers while wrasslin’ crab is one of ’em!

  7. Thanks for the handy crab-handling information. You never know when you’re going to move to a swamp.

  8. I perform a self amputation every morning when I walk into my office and extract my dignity. Does anyone at the gimcrack have an extra body part?

  9. Christ. I bet the cleaners have a rare old time at the Gimcrack, sweeping up whatever body parts happen to have dropped off today. Are you sure you’ve not taken employment at a leper colony?

  10. I wonder if that works with Dungeness crabs? That’s what we have around here. Even I’m too squeamish for the self-amputation link. And some of the folks around here who’ve lost limbs to diabetes would like to take those self-amputaters to the woodshed.

  11. I swear, you have the most amazing cast of characters at that place! I seem to remember an alarm of some sort (fire, perhaps?) sending patients out into the night, wandering around in PJ’s…I wish I could’ve seen it.

    Oddly enough, I’ve always wished that I was either missing a non-crucial body part (pinky finger perhaps) or had a sizeable scar – something to spark conversation and inspire wonder. Perhaps I should seek out a mudcrab to do the job… 😉

  12. A lot of the guys here at the office seem to be short of a few marbles. Don’t think any of them were lost wrestling crabs, though.

  13. Crabs might find it difficult to play marbles, don’t you need an opposable thumb?

  14. Whoa.

  15. please excuse me if I go no where near the self amutation page …….. 🙂

  16. amputation! … it sent before I could un typo … shucks!!

  17. i had a guy with no legs message me on gaydar the other day……….. how goes it nurse!?

  18. the article about self-amputation isn’t that bad – sort of fascinating, in fact. i’m not inclined to whack off any appendages – unless my tummy can be considered an appendage – but i can see it as an extension of piercings and tattoos for body modification…

  19. As a vegetarian, I find myself cheering for the crabs. At least it’s an even contest in this case.

    Annie Sprinkle once got busted over a photo shoot involving a woman who lacked most of her lower leg and did rude things with what she did have left. Not anything I cared to linger on myself, but it sure has to beat feeling incomplete or maimed. I love people who no matter how they’ve been busted come out roaring.

  20. I don’t think I’ve ever wished I had one less limb or appendage. However, sometimes I will walk with a slight limp to throw off predators.

  21. Yes I noticed once I clicked the link, suppose I could have done that before I commented but that would have just been sensible

  22. well we can’t have “sensible” on this blog can we?

  23. I guess not.

  24. that reminds me – have you seen that terrible ad for “your sensible” with that thing that looks like a fat slobbery tongue?

  25. Viktoria rocks! What a beautiful woman. Sexy as hell too. What with all the people coming home from Iraq minus various body parts, we need more role models like her to prove that humans are sexy because of their attitudes and minds, not because of how many arms or legs they have.

  26. Yes well if they come back from Iraq looking like that healingmagichands, I don’t think they would have a problem. lets hope they come back without leaving to many Iraq’s without limbs as well.
    She is hot leg or not,
    I’d give it a shot’
    pitty I look like snot,
    maybe if I got her stoned on pot,
    I might just get in,… Not.


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