sex by the stars

Lifeoracle.com has some advice on sexual relationships by the stars. I know you busy people haven’t got time to read it all so here’s the abbreviated nursemyra version

he-man

Capricorn women don’t need much foreplay, they are also scratchers and screamers. A Capricorn man expects women to be willing and ready whenever he wants them.

Aquarian women prefer to have sex standing up and in water. Aquarian men can be relied upon to give two orgasms per session.

little_flirty_fishy 

Piscean women seldom say no. Piscean men are submissive and like sex in a chair.

lovely-tears1

Women born under the sign of Aries will have sex anywhere. A male Aries? Sleeping with him is like playing croquet with live bombs.

Taurean women like having their toes sucked. Taurean men go for long luxurious oral sex.

love_making_art

The female Gemini is a one woman harem. Gemini men? Fast and furious, with the lights on and in front of a mirror.

Women born under the sign of Cancer have a fondness for masturbation. Cancerian men have a surprising technique: intercourse with no hands.

contortionist

Female Leos are sleek, lascivious, enticing and lazy. Male Leos like their women in submissive positions.

Virgo women love mutual masturbation. Virgo men are obsessed with pornography.

Female Librans have unusual control of their vaginal muscles and like any position where their buttocks are exposed. Male Librans are kinky voyeurs.

pic-spanking

Inquisitive, experimental Scorpio women like vibrators. Male Scorpios like to fuck on the floor.

scrubbing-floor

Female Sagittarians don’t mind if their men come too quickly. Male Sagittarians like to have sex with women in stockings.

male-stockings-spread-wide man-in-stockings

Published in: on December 7, 2008 at 7:20 am  Comments (25)  

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25 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This female Saggitarian likes it long and slow. But then, I was born on the cusp of Scorpio. But then again I was married to a minute man for 20 years.

  2. “Male Sagittarians like to have sex with women in stockings.” So Male Sagittarians are transvestites?

    Hmmm – could explain a few things – I’m a Capricornian born on the cusp of Sagittarius – – –

    Of course, Capricornians are level headed and only believe in what they see – so they don’t believe in horoscopes and arstology

  3. ASTROLOGY!!!!!!

  4. Capricorns like to do um wait, “arstology?” Okay. Capricorns like to do it with arstology and the soundtrack to “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” playing on the patio speakers. In the rain. At 4AM. With pie afterwards.

  5. Can you be more than one star sign? I think I might be all of them..

  6. why would I want to have sex standing up in water…. ?? Suppose changing ones birth sign is pretty impossible … can’t even use the living on the cusp thing either…. oh well better get some wellies

  7. Sag here- tried it… hard time keeping my stockings up; all else just fine. I too would like pie afterward.

    Nate Givinup

  8. “Will you be the VIRILE HE-MAN SHE EXPECTS?”

    No pressure there.

  9. What about people born under the sign of Geriatric? ….. just asking for a friend you understand ….

  10. as a Virgo and a male i can attest to loving pornography, all kinds too, i miss the old places where the screen would go up and the “entertainer” would “entertain” as you talked on the phone, always marvelled at the misted glass and how it fogged up when the tokens ran out, my friends would always laugh when i told them the only thing in the room besides the phone and the money taking machine was a waste basket and paper towel dispenser, ahh the good old days.

  11. Quick comer? Not this Sag. Except for the occasional quickie, I like slower pace.

  12. I am more than willing to test my Aquarius-blessed two orgasm per session powers. It’s odd that Aquarians can be relied on anything, considering how unpredictable we are.

  13. As a Leo male I can tell you that we do in deed love sex in dominate positions, Especially when we are f–king other people.

  14. So many Sagittarians. My brother, my eldest son and his father are all sagittarians too…..

    I’m a virgo but I don’t believe in arstology either. (Archie, you shouldn’t have corrected yourself – this is a much better word)

  15. As a Capricorn, I firmly believe this is crap.

    However, yeah.

  16. “a one woman Harem”? oh, i am totally raising my rates…

    Daisyfae that is SO you……

  17. I’m a Sag and that sounds about right, but my partner is an Aquarius and I’m not sure about her astrological prediliction – though the shower…

  18. I am never going to make fun of astrology again.

  19. love those Aquarians..

    in Hawaii I believe this is called..”hono ipu”
    you don’t need to be Hawaiian to appreciate it..just add warm water and away you go..

    Mahalo Nui NurseMyra!

  20. As a Scorpio, I have been on the receiving end of nervous stares all my life, every time someone brings up this question of “what’s your sign.”

    All I can say is that the bit about vibrators is.. well… I am a professional massage therapist, and I can put all the vibrators you could imagine on my P and L tax statement.

  21. very good guide, nursemyra. as i approach dating again, i’ll be sure to carry along the handy pocket version of this and ask for women’s birthdays straight away.

    @ Archie: yeah, as yet another Sagittarian commenter here, i don’t care if she is wearing stockings or i am… as long as it’s sex in stockings! okay, as long as there’s sex with a female of the feminine persuasion.

  22. I’m a kinky voyeur?

    Ok yeah so I guess that could be true.

  23. We do too say no! Well, sometimes. Oh, that’s right, that’s exactly what it said.

  24. /Piscean male says its all true

  25. ghosty! Welcome back… long time no see…


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