…. is a wonderful word meaning deep bosomed


Plastic surgeon Patrick Mallucci has come up with a formula for perfection based on research into topless models who have not gone under the knife. He has come up with a list of attributes and a specific ratio to use as a template.

Mr Mallucci said that an attractive breast has a balanced proportion between the upper and lower halves, with the nipple sitting about 45 per cent down from the top, pointing slightly upward.


The Bra Fitting Room doesn’t use fruit names when comparing bosom shapes. Instead they go for “easy to remember” descriptions such as “shelfy”


Mr Thomas Peng, who was “online and wanting to chat now” when I was looking at his “Bra Enhancer Extra Bra Bra Shaper Bra” can help women who want “that perfect upright shape”.

“It can effectively support the breast by lift up the slack and droopy breast thus improve the shape of the breast effectively. Furthermore, it also redistributes excess fat and bulges from the sides of the armpits for a well shaped breast.”

I was too busy researching this post to chat with Mr Peng, but his product sounds like it would work well with these cucumbers…..


Published in: on December 11, 2008 at 8:19 am  Comments (30)  

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30 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m a large BB with a touch of GF. Comforting that there are so many shapes and sizes out there 🙂

  2. Do your boobs hang low
    Do they wobble to and fro,
    Can you tie ’em in a knot
    Can you tie ’em in a bow?

    … carry on …

  3. Mama had two cucumbers,
    I s’pose you’d call them pendulous.
    When she didn’t wear a bra,
    The neighbours called it scandalous.

    My ma could tie them in a knot,
    or throw them o’er her shoulders.
    When hot, they hung down to her knees,
    Slightly less if it was colder

    Her sons would cause all kinds of grief
    At times, she’d have to hit them.
    But she gave them both a precious gift.
    She turned them into tit men.

  4. And I’m a bathykolpian. Or something.

  5. @ian

    Could you feed an orphanage,
    or put them through a wringer?
    If I push the nipple in,
    would it hurt my finger?

    …carry on…

  6. Must you wear them on your chest,
    or can you re-locate them?
    Are they fixer-upper tits,
    so you must re-novate them?

    …somebody stop me…

    consider yourself plugged 🙂

  7. i didn’t see “bionic” on any of those lists…

    “You’ll put yer eye out, kid!”

  8. I’ll pass this on to my bathykolpian housemates.

    Also, one point of clarification: the 45% “down from the top” – how does that figure if the breast-owner’s boob has an undertuck? That is, is the boob measured over its entire surface, or just the surface that is exposed to the assessor?

    I need to know before i go and do some measurements.

    hope you’re wearing a helmet when you approach a pair of breasts with a measuring device

  9. That bra enhancer looks like something that might be a tad uncomfortable. I vote for the sticky-on thingies I wrote about at fraccers. I guess I should buy some and try them?

    But boobs aside (I know… the men are crying blasphemy now) nursemyra… pleeeeeease add your santa hat avatar to your fuelmyblog profile. You make the top six list daily and your avatar is the only one still totally naked. LOL. Without yours, we can’t win and the prize (GC’s from Amazon for all in the top 6 of their category) might go to *gasp* the personal blogger group. We can’t let that happen. 😉

  10. I’ve heard about this perfection thing before, coming from a comment of a very sexist male in a “female” magazine, brazilian cosmopolitan, some years ago. When it comes to bras, all I want is comfort and support, this “special” bra sounds silly.

  11. I’m a mixture of FS and P. I actually am quite happy with my breasts, unlike some women. I think they’re one of my best features. If I could keep them and change everything else, life would be grand.

  12. Boobs are uplifting and wobble a bit
    Bras are the same,though they must be a great fit
    But if I had a pair
    I just wouldn’t share
    I just stay at home and feel a right …….. idiot.

  13. Thanks! This reminds me that I don’t consume nearly enough fruits and vegetables.

  14. breasts…once you’ve seen one pair?

    …you want to see them all…

  15. and if you could SEE them all – would that suffice?

  16. i hate shopping for bras. hate it hate it.

  17. Nursemyra is the bee’s knees! 😉

  18. Yeah thanks Fracas…. I finally worked out how to do the santa hat thing for FMB…. just as well, I was feeling very technologically retarded about it!

  19. well… no. touching would then have to be involved… and nuzzling… and…

  20. It sure is a strange world you live in nursy poo.Very Very Very strange. We don’t wear bras on the Island or underpants. I fact when someone comes back from a trip from New Zealand or Australia there bags get raided for Items like this, as they do make life just that bit more comfy. funny post girl. ps I just wrote a post last night and as I was, I was thinking of you, and how maybe it should have been on your blog and not mine.Sh–t that hurt.:-)

  21. Nope, that post is safe with you. I don’t have a penis for a scorpion to nibble on. thankfully.

  22. What are the perfect breasts? The ones I happen to be fondling at the time, of course.

  23. The pic for you at mine.

  24. No need for Mr.Peng’s toys. You have lovely breasts.

  25. I’ve seen a lot of boobs in my life…and I must say, grapefruits are my favorite…but nowadays…I’m really just happier hanging by myself!

  26. […] 12, 2008 by sledpress A conversation over on Nursemyra’s page inspired me to post there about the latest message I received from a nearby fromagerie. This […]

  27. Bra Enhancer extra bra bra shaper bra… wow I’m forming a band and calling it that.

  28. I haven’t worn a bra in over a decade. I have no idea what size I am, but I know what shape they are! They are large, and old, and droopy. But they still have extremely sensitive nerve endings and serve us well in the pleasure department.

    Several years ago I came across an art book of photographs taken of topless women from every age, color, shape and walk of life. It was so beautiful, I coveted it but couldn’t come up with the over $100 price. Now I can’t even remember who the photographer was, and I have not been able to find anything similar on Amazon. Darn it. I wish I had bought it when I had it in my hand.

  29. Was it this one, HMH, The Big Book of Breasts?
    Or perhaps it was The Master Book of Breasts.

  30. […] don’t know if it’s any more effective than imagining warm wet towels enveloping my bathykolpian chest but it certainly worked for June […]

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