Professor Jean Civiale had quite a way with words when it came to promoting his Urethral Crayons for the cure of spermatorrhoea
The Vital Fluid: What it Is, What it Does, and How it is allowed to Drain Away, Weakening, Emasculating and Dementing the Vicious and the Careless. Diurnal (daily) Emissions. Nocturnal (nightly) Emissions. Impalpable Oozings. Losses in the Urine. Losses while at Stool. Mistaken Gleet.
At the first symptom of Sexual Decay or Nervous Exhaustion, the person thus affected should have his urine carefully and thoroughly analyzed by some competent person.
Civiale considered himself to be one such competent person. He painted a horrifying picture of what lay ahead for chronic masturbators
Oozing of a glairy fluid under excitement and imaginings, Formation of Evil Pictures in the Mind, Mental Hebetude, Stringiness and Softening of the Testicles, Sensation of the Bowels Falling Out, Weight on the brain, ringing in the ears, pains in the head, nervous twitchings of the eyelids, The erector muscles become paralyzed, and the organ remains inactive at the call of the will followed by convulsions, coma and death.
exact size and shape of insertable crayon
all these symptoms could be controlled, of course, by a once daily insertion of his famous melting crayons. Professor Civiale also had other strings to his bow. His Elastic Self Adjusting Cradle and Compressor could permanently and painlessly cure twisted scrotal veins, otherwise known as variococeles.
Such a perfect and practical combination is to be found in the Elastic self-adjusting and adjustable Cradle and Compressor, which has succeeded in curing many apparently hopeless cases.
Attached to the metallic shoulder is the Elastic, Glove-Fitting, Self-Adjusting Testicle-Cradle, by means of which not only are the testicles perfectly supported and rested, but by the sheet-rubber lining and the elastic tie bands, a constant, easy and perfectly painless elastic pressure is kept up on the dilated and sagging veins, which are thereby emptied of their unhealthy and stagnated blood and allowed to regain their tone, strength and contractility.
aren’t you glad you live in the 21st century?