sausage sex

bumper_crop

nursemyra is still reading Everything you Know About Sex is Wrong and today’s extract is as mind boggling as yesterday’s. Click the link if you’re looking for a new way to serve spaghetti and meatballs

meat-partyxs

Did you know sex with a sausage is called botulinonia? No, neither did I.

It’s summer here in sydney so I’m eating a lot of stone fruit – peaches, apricots, cherries, nectarines and plums. that’s all I’ve been doing with them – just eating juicy delicious stone fruit. But it seems I’ve been wasting some plum opportunities

fruity

“take a slightly slit pitted plum and slide it onto an erect penis. Once secure, it can be inserted into a partner’s vagina, adding volume and pressure for both participants.”

“suck on a lime before cunnilingus. It will make your taste buds swell creating more texture when rubbed against sensitive tissue”

oral

and this fruity story may just be a story – I have no way of verifying if it is true

” a client in an Oregon brothel in the 1940s regularly paid two prostitutes to watch him strip naked, put on high heels, get into a tub of water and walk back and forth while they threw oranges at his buttocks”

baboon-with-orange-buttocks

image by Matthew Roby

Published in: on February 11, 2009 at 6:44 am  Comments (33)  

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33 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. ah yes…..what would Oregon be without orange juice?

    it’s the 9 months of grey rainy days….

  2. I confess! Take off my prediliction from your blog! I can’t believe Surftwin told you, thank god she said 1940, I wasn’t here then! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Twinny and Gaz – are you two sitting on each other’s knees?

  4. Pussy-and-lime could be a great new flavour for ice cream.

  5. Put a plum on the end of the penis?! Nice tip…

  6. Hmm, a new version of Plum Jam?

  7. I wonder what can be done with a pineapple ………

  8. oooh I think I did something about pineapples recently

    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2008/11/23/anthelmintics/

  9. excellent idea on using the lemon enhancement. i’ve used sweet tarts, but this is much more natural.

  10. I have a similar fetish to the man in Oregon except I have my rentboys insert the Oranges into my bottom

  11. My mistake yesterday confusing this book with the infamous “everything you wanted to know about sex.” I’m usually just getting up when I read this stuff, which might not be the right time. I think I’d better wait till later in the day to read about the spaghetti.

  12. “suck on a lime before cunnilingus” is interesting advice.

  13. What if the plum falls off? You know. Inside?

  14. As a nurse, are there any of these acts you would caution against?

    oops… did I forget my disclaimer? yeah – don’t do the plum unless you have a speculum handy

  15. “take a slightly slit pitted plum and slide it onto an erect penis. Once secure, it can be inserted into a partnerโ€™s vagina, adding volume and pressure for both participants.โ€

    This sounds . . . um . . . dangerous . . .

    Just saying . . .

  16. From now on, I will always be stocked on lime.

  17. Stone fruit and berries are the best. To eat.

    Completely unrelated: I finally got around to starting another blog, nm. I call it Dancing on Thin Ice.

  18. tobymarx: your first post is really great, looking forward to more

  19. A friend told me that a diet of pineapple juice makes a man taste, er, sweeter. Juicewise.

    Nurse, is this true?

  20. So little Jack Horner was obviously doing it wrong.

  21. inkspot: maybe you should read this…

    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2008/03/29/sweeten-your-man-juice/

    Kyk: good observation ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. Ah hence the term Boerewors and its popularity with the country girls. Just how big are these plums (or how small are peni?)

  23. I always wonder how people figure out they like a really specific fetish. Like how did this guy come to realize that having women watch him strip naked and throw oranges at his butt while he walked back and forth in a bathtub while wearing heels really gets him off? Did he find out each part separately and say “Hey, maybe I should have it all done at once. But I’ll need help…”

  24. Sex is always better when you add food.

    Really? I like the odd snack between bouts of fucking but am not really into sticky fruit juice or whipped cream or chocolate sauce or any of that other stuff that people lick off each other. Don’t want a cucumber rammed up my pussy either thanks.

    So what food do you like with sex Thomas?

  25. The bottom of the page that you linked to has “statue screwing” as one of the topics. WTF?

    Although I have to admit that Kabazzah sounds intriguing.

    And I’ll never look at a plum the same way again.

    here you go Mr Fermentation:

    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2008/08/11/pygmalionism/

  26. That Oregon client is a pervert. Why isn’t he happy with grapefruit like everybody else?

  27. i’m still processing the title of the book… if everything i know is wrong? then shit… i’ve got to start all over again?

    (sigh)

    well… ok…. back in a few….

  28. Anaglyph: hahahahahahahaha

    daisyfae: minutes? hours? days?

  29. Yeah, if everything I know is wrong, then that’s … well it’s just an amazing amount of wrong. I’ll have to wait to be reincarnated before I can set it right.

    In Claudia Shear’s book “Blown Sideways Through Life” she describes a brothel client’s desire to masturbate before an audience of ladies while turning around and around atop a table. The girls were asked to make admiring noises while he did so.

    Of course behind his back they made atrocious faces, and tried to make the women in his field of view crack up, but I imagine it was ludicrously easy money, relatively speaking.

  30. I clicked the link Metro. that book looks hilarious, I’ll see if it’s at the library next week.

  31. hey I could do that watching a man strip naked, putting on high heels, getting into a tub of water and walking back and forth while I threw oranges at his buttocks.. does it pay well?? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  32. but could you do it with a straight face?

  33. Do you think botulinonia and botulism are somehow linked?

    Hey Nurse, I’m running a little interview project over at my site – bloggers interviewing bloggers – though that you or your readers might be interested.


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