chocolate as black as the devil’s arse


The most popular festive cake in France before the revolution was a sponge cake, biscuit de Savoie. The Marquise de Sade loved it so much he demanded his wife deliver it to him in prison every fortnight, but only if made the way he preferred.

 “The Savoy biscuit isn’t at all what I’d asked for,” he grumbled to Renee- Pelagie. “I wished it to be iced all the way around its surface, on top and underneath. Firstly, I wanted it candied all over and secondly I wanted it to have chocolate inside. It ought to have the same taste  as when you bite into a bar of chocolate. I wish it to be … of chocolate so dense that it is black, like the devil’s arse is blackened by smoke.”


chocolate anus found here

But that’s not all he asked for. His fortnightly hampers were to include 30 large macaroons, 12 iced cakes, a large box of marshmallows, several pots of greengage, purple plum and raspberry jams, a box of candied fruit, jars of canned peaches, an almond cake, and chocolate, always more chocolate”

of course as we all know food was not the only thing on the Marquis’ mind.

The Marquis de Sade was five foot two, and had a virile member 20cm long and 16cm circumference when erect. We know this intimate detail because in prison he asked his long-suffering wife Renee-Pelagie to provide him with a specially made “pocket-flask” of these dimensions – the size of his own prestige – in rosewood or ebony. This was one of the few jobs the Marquise baulked at, unable to face the derision of the Parisian cabinetmaker: “I beg you to release me from this errand.” Sade was unsparing, rejecting one attempt as too small. On the contrary, it was too large to fit in his pocket, she protested, and Sade scrawled on her letter: “I don’t put it in my pocket. I put it elsewhere, where it still turns out to be too small.”


Published in: on March 18, 2009 at 7:03 am  Comments (32)  

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32 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. One can only hope that the fine folks at edibleanus come out with a chocolate gallbladder soon.

  2. strangely enough I was searching for a gallbladder for you when I discovered the anus instead…..

  3. I touched, really.

  4. The poor, poor wife of such a horrid man. I know where I would be telling him to shove it! Lol!
    So short … I wonder if he was fat after all that chocolate?

  5. I have a wee bit of a chocolatey arse masel this very morn.

    Great post… great craic, if you’ll pardon the pun.

  6. Rosewood or ebony? What would that give him other than splinters? Have you ever had to look after a horny little man, Nursie?

  7. There’s about 20 horny little men at the Gimcrack. Remember Mr Zee?

    or how about Gene?

  8. All wives are long-suffering ……… apparently …..

  9. Excellent post, nm, truly enjoyable.

    Whatever the marquis was like as a person, his books are fascinating, especially Justine.

    Dark chocolate . . .m-m-m-mmmmmmmm.

  10. I’m guessing poor Renee-Pelagie kept at it so long in the hope that he would die of constipation.

  11. sorry to learn that access to the chocolate anus has been pinched off…

  12. MMMM, dark chocolate, just what the Tall One sent me.

    @Daisy Fae, that was last year, looks like the online shop is back in gear. So you can order your chocolate rear.

  13. Have you ever read The 120 Days of Sodom? It’s not that erotic. A lot of pain. And butt stuff.

    I’ve read about 30 pages. Had to put it down, it’s not only unerotic, it actually gets boringly repetitive.

    Haven’t read Justine but have heard that it’s better.

  14. Interesting that the chocolate anus isn’t available until May. Would have been a great Valentines Day gift.

  15. My arse must be made of chocolate.And judging by the state of my pants.. It appears to be melting…

  16. Oh my lord, I cannot WAIT until x-mas! Chocolate anuses in everyone’s stocking!!!

  17. This post made me wistful for chocolate covered cherries.

  18. Not just the fruity kind?

  19. whahaha – saw those chocolate anuses (anni?) a while back. Hilarious.

  20. I like the limited edition silver one too. though at $460.00 it’s a little pricey

  21. As I used to sing as a child “Milk milk lemonade, round the corner chocolate’s made!”

    Mind you, we did used to live between two dairies and a soft drink shop, just around the corner from the Cadbury factory.

    welcome to the gimcrack Becky. which Cadbury’s factory? not the one in Dunedin?

  22. If you haven’t seen it, I would very much suggest the movie “Quills” with Geoffery Rush as Marquis de Sade. It’s well worth the seeing.

    This particular episode is recounted in the film.

  23. as much as I adore chocolate I think I will pass on the chocolate anus .. I prefer the caramels and coffee creams 😉

  24. No conjugal visits in that prison? The horror!

  25. I am astounded by the list of things the guy wanted in his fortnightly basket. A fortnight is two weeks, so every two weeks he wanted something like 5 million calories delivered to him? If he ate all that, Im surprised that he himself wasn’t 500 pounds and 16 meters in circumference.

  26. The Divine Marquis did in fact become tremendously fat. Gouty, too. He blamed it on his confinement.

  27. I found something I think you’ll enjoy, my dearest nurse. It’s a typeface in skin by Dutch artist Thijs Verbeek.


    I’m trying to like it Toby, but I don’t think I do. I just keep imagining how it must pinch. and not in a good way.

  28. I also recommend Quills.

  29. Chocolate anus… I suppose ‘chocolate kiss’ was already taken by the actual anus wasn’t it.

  30. I think I’d get sick of sponge cake after a few fortnights. It sounds a little wussy for the Marquis, in fact. Surely he’d like a good slice of marble cake with whipped cream?

  31. Ah! Someone can now go and eat an asshole. Literally.

    Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. Eeeww!

    Thomas 🙂

  32. I like your style Nursemyra, that’s how chocolate should be.

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