chocolate as black as the devil’s arse

chocolate-kamasutra4

The most popular festive cake in France before the revolution was a sponge cake, biscuit de Savoie. The Marquise de Sade loved it so much he demanded his wife deliver it to him in prison every fortnight, but only if made the way he preferred.

 “The Savoy biscuit isn’t at all what I’d asked for,” he grumbled to Renee- Pelagie. “I wished it to be iced all the way around its surface, on top and underneath. Firstly, I wanted it candied all over and secondly I wanted it to have chocolate inside. It ought to have the same taste  as when you bite into a bar of chocolate. I wish it to be … of chocolate so dense that it is black, like the devil’s arse is blackened by smoke.”

bigchoc

chocolate anus found here

But that’s not all he asked for. His fortnightly hampers were to include 30 large macaroons, 12 iced cakes, a large box of marshmallows, several pots of greengage, purple plum and raspberry jams, a box of candied fruit, jars of canned peaches, an almond cake, and chocolate, always more chocolate”

of course as we all know food was not the only thing on the Marquis’ mind.

The Marquis de Sade was five foot two, and had a virile member 20cm long and 16cm circumference when erect. We know this intimate detail because in prison he asked his long-suffering wife Renee-Pelagie to provide him with a specially made “pocket-flask” of these dimensions – the size of his own prestige – in rosewood or ebony. This was one of the few jobs the Marquise baulked at, unable to face the derision of the Parisian cabinetmaker: “I beg you to release me from this errand.” Sade was unsparing, rejecting one attempt as too small. On the contrary, it was too large to fit in his pocket, she protested, and Sade scrawled on her letter: “I don’t put it in my pocket. I put it elsewhere, where it still turns out to be too small.”

huge_flask



Published in: on March 18, 2009 at 7:03 am  Comments (32)  

let me entertain you

In 1913 the Russian author Yakov Perelman wrote a charming book called Physics for Entertainment. It’s of interest to more people than just  science students as I’m sure nursemyra is not the only person who wants to know how to jump safely from a moving car or how to make a set of scales say I weigh less than I do.

jump-in-my-car-game-header

Play game by clicking here

How to jump from a moving car: Most people think you should jump forward in the direction the car is travelling to comform with the law of inertia. But inertia is of secondary importance

When you jump your body has the same velocity as the car. By jumping forwards we increase that velocity. Our speed then is greater than when jumping backwards. But remember if you are travelling with luggage you should throw that off backwards first

How to weigh yourself: you will get your correct weight only if you stand on the scales without moving. If you bend down, the scales show less*** because the muscles used pull up the lower half of your body thus diminishing the pressure you exert on the scales. 

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the book is full of experiments you can do as well. Here’s one that shows you why you can’t rise up from a sitting position in a chair

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and it’s got nothing to do with being tied down……

*** hands up everyone who’s going to bend over when weighing themselves from now on

Published in: on March 17, 2009 at 6:52 am  Comments (33)  

toss me that bladder

back in the day, before footballs were produced in factories, enterprising little boys used to make their own by inflating a pig’s bladder. In fact Addie Mailk still does

“My name is addie malik i want to tell you about product bladders are used in footballs, volly balls, rugby and like more games we also manufactured of rubber gloves if you want to buy than frankly you can tuch me with help of yours fingers see below”

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animal bladders were also used in experiments such as this early attempt to harness gas conducted by Reverend John Clayton

“Flammable gas had been known for centuries, leaking out of the ground near coal mines. This gas would have been methane, or firedamp as the miners called it. In 1684 the Reverend John Clayton, rector of Crofton, while investigating one such leak bubbling from a flooded ditch near Wigan, realised the connection between the gas and the coal underground and experimented with heating coal in a sealed container, collecting the gas in a bladder, and burning it as a party trick for his friends’

19thcentury-gas-bag-experiment

Bladders were even used to make a musical instrument called the bumbass. Here’s what happens when an ass uses his bum to play around with flammable objects

 bumbass-1bumbass-2

 

 

Published in: on March 16, 2009 at 8:49 am  Comments (32)  

torpedo penis

Male anglerfish are much smaller than their female counterparts. The males actually attach themselves to an attractive female, becoming her sexual appendages. They only have a few teeth, adapted for piercing and holding on to their mate, plus a propulsive tail fin which makes them a sort of sexual torpedo. 

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image found here

“When he finds a female, he bites into her skin, and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to the blood-vessel level. The male then atrophies into nothing more than a pair of gonads, which release sperm in response to hormones in the female’s bloodstream indicating egg release”

Dolphins have an interesting sex life too. Homosexuality is common with males having anal intercourse with each other and even using their blowholes to perform fellatio. Think about that if you’re ever chilling out withthis strange little item called a Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid

relaxation-dolphin

When I think of torpedoes, it’s not necessarily the anglerfish that comes to mind but it is usually the underwater type. If you’re interested in seeing what an on-ground torpedo looks like go here to see what the Russians were doing in WW2 

torpedo

more photos here


Published in: on March 15, 2009 at 7:55 am  Comments (30)  

the devil deals a black hand

sisters

For 400 years the Haanappel family of Doesburg in Holland have had the palms of their hands turn black six months after they are born. Doctors say this is the result of a gene mutation, but local folklore maintains that a Haanappel saved a church from fire by ringing the bells, burning his hands as he slid down the bell rope. The Devil, in his anger, cursed him and his heirs forever. 

black-hands

This is a royalty free image from Getty Images. A “rights-managed” image of  Jaap Haanappel can be seen here

A 1908 newspaper report tells of a different group of  “Black Hands” 

“New York has a large population of Italians. Dumped ashore from the big immigrant ships, they settle in the slum districts of the metropolis.

This class is made up of criminals. Some of them have served prison sentences at home. Others have led lives of brigandage in the Sicilian or lower Italy style without being caught.

The symbol of their threat is a black hand impressed upon the letters that they send to their victim. Scarcely a day passes without as least one murder, attempted murder or job of dynamiting in New York by the members of the famous organization.

black-hand

While the Milli family** of central Italy have no connection with black hands or gene mutations they do seem to suffer from a jinx. On 17 January 1949 a woman in the family died, as happened on the same day in 1959 and 1969. On 17 January 1978, misfortune struck a year early when Giuseppina Milli died of a heart attack. On 17 January 1989 the remaining family members planned to book themselves into hospital……***

*** story found in Incredible Phenomena published by Orbis Press 1980

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*** tetherdcow tells us that jinxes and the like are all hokum

Published in: on March 14, 2009 at 7:05 am  Comments (33)  

corset friday 13.3.2009

It’s skulls and crossbones today because it’s friday the thirteenth. 

sk1  sk3  sk5 sk6  sk8 sk9

Today is my younger son’s 25th birthday. He won’t want a corset friday dedicated to him but he’s getting one anyway. Happy birthday Rob – just tell the therapist to send the bill to me………

rob-1 rob-2

Hasn’t he got the most beautiful eyes?

 

Published in: on March 13, 2009 at 7:38 am  Comments (42)  

revenge of the volcano

creepy-kewpie-dolls

I’ve been reading a fascinating collection of stories, Incredible Phenomena, pubished in 1984. In a chapter called Jinxes and Curses there is mention of an airline vice-president from New York called Ralph Loffert who, in 1977, together with his wife and four children, visited the Hawaiian volcano Mauna Loa.

fire-volcano-electra-lamp

volcano lamp found at Uberreview

While there they collected some stones against the advice of locals who warned them it would anger the volcano goddess. A few months later, one of the sons, Todd, developed appendicitis, had knee surgery and broke his wrist; another son, Mark, sprained an ankle and broke his arm, the third son, Dan, caught an eye infection and needed prescription glasses and daughter Rebecca lost 2 front teeth in a fall. 

hand-splint

In July 1978 the Lofferts sent the stones back to Hawaii but the disasters continued. Mark hurt his knee, Rebecca broke 3 more teeth. Dan fractured his hand and Todd dislocated an elbow and fractured his wrist again. 

teeth-pacifer

Mark then confessed he had kept 3 more stones. They were promptly sent back to Hawaii and the trouble ceased.

I’ve searched for a reference on the net to this tale which appears to have been written by one of the editors of the Fortean Times. It’s hard to tell as the names don’t appear with the individual stories. Here is the only mention I was able to find. It’s been translated from Hungarian for your reading pleasure…..  (there seems to be a story about Prince Franz Ferdinand and a cursed car also…..)

franzshirt

Published in: on March 12, 2009 at 7:08 am  Comments (25)  

you turn me on, I’m a Leyden Jar…..

date-with-a-hifi

I went to school with a girl who didn’t wear a watch because she swore her body made batteries stop. She also once demonstrated the art of giving head using a paper napkin so I’m not sure I trust her word on the battery thing. But according to Bob Rickard there are people out there whose bodies can do amazing things with electricity.

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Not surprisingly, many instances of electric people have been noticed or recorded by doctors. In January 1869, the doctor who delivered a baby in St. Urbain, France, said the infant was charged up ‘like a Leyden jar’ ( a type of electrostatic condenser). The baby shocked all who touched him, and luminous rays emanated from his fingers. 

Douglas Hunt records two similar cases in Prediction magazine (January 1953). In the first a doctor received a sharp shock while delivering a baby. The baby’s ‘electrification’ lasted 24 hours, during which time he was actually used to charge a Leyden jar, and sparks issued from him. The second infant gave off a ‘feeble white light’ and caused ‘vibrations’ in small metal objects brought near his hands or feet.

smurf

Bob also mentions a report by Dr Julius Ransom in 1920 about 34 prison inmates who developed botulinus poisoning.

During convalescence, one of them screwed up a piece of paper and tried to throw it away, but the paper stuck fast to his hand. Investigation showed that the man was carrying a high static charge, and so were all of his fellow sufferers. They could deflect compass needles and make a suspended steel tape sway by moving their hands towards and away from it.The phenomena ceased when the men recovered.

success


Published in: on March 11, 2009 at 7:15 am  Comments (30)  

frog covering for boner

the pelvic bone of a frog was once believed to be a magical charm. In The Golden Bough, J G Frazer writes

galvanic-twitch

“Catch a frog on St George’s Day, wrap it in white linen and put it on an anthill for ants to eat its flesh. All that will be left is two small bones, one shaped like a hook and the other like a shovel. Take the hook shaped bone to the girl of your choice, hook it into her dress and she will fall head over heels in love with you. Afterwards, if you tire of her, touch her with the shovel shaped bone and her affection will vanish.”

help-im-hooked

Eastern Counties Magazine (1901) tells of Tilly Baldry whose skills included a magic spell to make her adulterous husband walk home backwards 16 miles from his mistress’ house and the ability to stop milk turning to butter. This is how she did it:

“you ketch a hopping toad and carry it in your bosom until it’s rotted away to the backbone. Hold the bone over running water at midnight until the Devil comes and makes you a witch. You kin then dew all manner of badness to people and hev power over ’em.”

For those of you who prefer to play around with images rather than ketching and carrying rotting amphibians, here’s a tutorial on how to create a robotic frog instead

robotic-frog


Published in: on March 9, 2009 at 7:10 am  Comments (29)  

foot licking

In the 1890s Dr Hocken, a New Zealand doctor watched a fire walking demonstration in Polynesia. He then made a thorough examination of the native walkers’ feet, even licking them all over with his tongue to ensure they were free of foreign protective substances. 

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There is a scientific explanation for safe firewalking. In fact it has become so popular that some companies even use it as a team building exercise.

It was meant to develop leadership skills, but the fire-walking exercise for 30 managers of the KFC fast food chicken restaurant chain was too hot to bear.

Among 20 taken to Hunter Valley hospitals for treatment to a range of burns to their feet was Roger Eaton, the CEO for Tricon Restaurants Australia, which owns the Australian franchise rights to KFC.

armoredfootfetish

image by Lawrence Edwards found here

The hilarious Bearskin Rug has some advice for anyone unlucky enough to have a foot just “drop off”

“It’s important that you all remember — I’m NOT a medical doctor. The information I give on this site is not always as up-to-date as I’d like. Feet are a usually quite dirty, and if your foot does fall off, make sure you’re wearing rubber gloves before you lick the foot.

Oh! On your tongue — your tongue. It wouldn’t do any good on your hands, silly! Well.. actually it couldn’t hurt…

You know what? Wear one on the foot, too.”

You’ll need to go to his website to view the accompanying cartoon.  spend some time checking out his other work – it’s well worth the visit.

while-you-were-out-your-shoes-had-fun-in-the-smokers-corner

this image and the top one were created by Bela Borsodi

Published in: on March 7, 2009 at 5:56 am  Comments (31)