bovine love


Many countries have had mad rulers and one of the maddest was the first Sultan Ibrahim.  He spent the first 23 years of his life locked up in a beautiful but small room with only deaf mutes and barren concubines for comfort (some of my male readers might think that’s not such a bad thing).


When he did inherit the throne his mother did virtually all the ruling, supplying him with virgins and aphrodisiacs to keep him busy.


“Ibrahim used to drench his beard, clothes and room hangings with perfumes, especially the exotic ambergris. He had a fetish for furs: his clothes, curtains and walls were all decorated with fur. His pillows were stuffed with it and he had a preference for making love on sable skins. Ibrahim collected books expressing the various ways of coition and he was said to have invented some new and previously unknown positions himself. Once, Ibrahim happened to see the private parts of a wild young cow and according to Cantemir, “he sent the shape of them in gold all over the Empire with orders to make enquiries whether a woman made in just that manner could be found for his lust“.


A woman fitting the description was found in Armenia and she was received into the harem. Her name was Sechir Para (“Sugar Cube”) and she weighed around 150 kilograms. Ibrahim became madly infatuated with her. 


artwork by Namio

The Ottoman Empire was a cruel one. Ibrahim’s half brother Osman ll was killed by compression of the testicles and Sugar Cube died from poisoning after ground glass and chopped hair was added to her coffee. Ibrahim suffered the same fate as many of the Ottoman rulers – he was strangled with a silk rope by a deaf mute eunuch. 

Wonder what happened to the gold plated cow vagina…….


Published in: on April 29, 2009 at 9:07 am  Comments (32)  

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32 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Stupid american…don’t understand those kilogram things…let’s see get out my calculator, and 150k is equivalent to..carry the one…

    330 pounds…wooooooooo!

    • that’s a whole lotta woman huh?

    • baaahahaha! (i had to do the same thing…)

  2. that’s what that is…. there’s been this thing on Mom’s coffee table for decades… damn… going to get that thing out there on ebay! you just don’t see too many golden bovine va-jay-jays out there!

  3. Compression of the testicles = spit-take with my morning coffee and crossed legs. Oh, ouch.

  4. The gold-plated cow vagina has been on exhibit at the Bovine Cooter Museum in Kalamazoo, Michigan for the last 15 years. Do you have google, nurse?

  5. What’s so good about cow pussy, Nursie?

  6. This world is stranger than I ever could have imagined.

  7. In the immortal words of Mel Brooks. ‘It’s good to be the king.’

    • hi Eric – is this your first visit to the gimcrack?

      • My no. I’ve been stalking here for months.

  8. I grew up on a farm. I’ve seen some things. I’ve seen some things in a state of prolapse.

    This dude was messed right the he’ll up.

  9. I grew up on a farm. This might be the most disturbing thing I’ve ever read on your blog. And that’s saying a lot.

  10. I know people who pay good money to be asphyxiated by a deaf mute eunuch twice a week.

  11. Love that Namio thing. What is better than a mouth full of bumhole?

  12. I can’t type ….. I can’t see through the tears ….

  13. Porcine love seems to be more of a problem over here.

    Anyone got that big cunning linguist of a nurse’s phone number.

    I’m partial to a bit of vaginal suffocation.

  14. All my mother ever bought for me was a pair of size 14 Nike fitba boots.

    They was too small.

  15. Even I am speechless…

    • Well that’s a first

  16. As if the ground glass wasn’t enough, they added hair? What? As an insult to the fatal injury? 😐

    I can always count on you Myra for my daily supply of breast pictures.

  17. Never been in the mooooood for cow lovin’.

    However, sheep aren’t baaaaaaad . . .

  18. That nurse artwork reminds me of one of the opening lines of Deep Throat: “You mind if I smoke while you eat?”

  19. ‘(some of my male readers might think that’s not such a bad thing).’

    While yes, it would be a little weird having my mother choose my ‘dates’ I’m sure I’d get over it. I can’t tell whats going on in the last photo, and i’m not sure if a want to.

  20. What, no mention of ovine love or is that just a kiwi thing? I had long suspected that compression of the testicles could result in death…thanks for settling that.

  21. That’s a fab bra and pantie set in your second pic, and you should give us your explanation of it.

  22. I believe it’s Miss Yum Yum

  23. They sell them vaginas on ebay.

  24. Ooooh. I like the nurse cow!

  25. and I’m sure she’s got the hots for you too

  26. Off the subject a tad but my own stream of fetishes has been pricked by that pic, if it is Miss Yum Yum, what film was it in? I’d love to get a better look at it!

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