Yez I Did

Eric Newby’s fabulous book A Traveller’s Life mentioned the Yezidis, an Iraqui religious sect I had not heard of before. He didn’t have much to say about them but another website was more informative

devil-freemasonry-leotaxiloriginal-poster2

The Yezidi are notable because they have been described as devil-worshippersThey have many unique beliefs, such as that the first Yezidi were created by Adam by parthenogenesis separately from Eve. They also have a set of food taboos which include meat, fish, squash, okra, beans, cabbage and lettuce.

bile40

It’s not just the Yezidi who like Satan. Devil worshipping seems to have gained popularity with even Paris Vogue getting in on the act

devil-worship-parisvoguesix

Personally, I wouldn’t be caught dead in those leggings, though a gold breastplate could be useful when trying to subdue some of the crazy old patients at the gimcrack. And it might not be as hard to come by as the ingredients required for these Laveyan Satanic Magic Spells

To harm a rival in love or a foe, pour cheap champagne into
   four corners of a square one moonless night
blockhead1
Baptize a large toad in the name of the victim, and make it
   swallow a piece of parchment inscribed with evil
   words or characters. Tie with hair of the victim, and bury
   under a threshhold or other place he (she) passes daily.
To injure an enemy, wrap a washed human bone in cotton, along
   with something that belongs to him.
graveyardtramp
To bewitch an enemy to death: hang up a black toad by the
   heels and collect venom in an oyster shell, impregnate with it
   a piece of the victim's soiled linen
Consecrate nails, especially those from a coffin, using fumes
   of saturn (pepperwort, frankincense). Follow footsteps
   of your intended victim and prick the shape of an inverted
   pentagram in all you can.
Take a hen's egg, stir gunpowder into its contents at the
   broken end , and bury the egg in the dust of the road.
To harm an enemy hollow out an acorn, stuff it with a dead
   person's hair, make holes on four sides, and draw two small
   chicken feathers through them so that they cross inside the
   acorn, and put it under the victim's mattress.
puberty-basket
puberty basket made with acorn woodpecker scalp feathers

Published in: on May 6, 2009 at 8:49 am  Comments (33)  

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33 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. a lot easier just to stick a knife in their back !!!

  2. What?

    No eye of newt or wing of bat?

    I’m most disappointed.

  3. Being brutally honest here, I did try it for a day or two, but the uniform was shite, and the soiled linen started to get right up my arse.

    I believe we may also have gotten off on the wrong foot when they clamped my car after I parked in the reserved space on the first day. For some ungodly reason they mistook my throwing the fecking thing through the office windae as a sign of malice.

    Besides, who the hell is gonnae want to join a cult where they expect you to work on weekends? For the love of christ, fitba to me is the only saviour!

  4. Me, I worship at the House of Gin. But I love to see a man playing with his fitba accessories

  5. That hairstyle is clearly the work of Satan–or the Graveyard Tramp.

    • but it’d be a great place to hide your stash

  6. All scientifically proven procedures I can assure you. Especially use of soiled linen – works every time

    • but what kind of spawn do you get after being impregnated by a dirty loin cloth?

  7. All religions, even Devil Worship, are for weak minds.

    • Opium for the masses?

  8. OK, I’ll fall for it.

    Nurse, how do you put puberty in a basket? And whose puberty? Or is it “this basket’s a bit puberty, I’ll take it back to the shop”?

    • I dunno…. I did an image search under acorn + feather and this is what google came up with….

  9. is it just me, or does Jeebus look like a dishing drag queen in that first picture?

  10. Not in those boots darlin’

  11. The secret is out! The best place to find hot tramps is the graveyard. Who knew? (Unless she only does dead dudes which would totally suck).

  12. That’s no crazier than any other religious story I’ve heard. I’m amazed that religious organizations get people to buy into their madness.

    I agree with Daisy that Jeebus should now be the preferred spelling. Revolution!

    • So what will you guys worship at the Church of Jeebus?

  13. Can’t stand Satanists as a class of people but, honestly, I can’t stop hanging around with them.

    At least they’re earnest about being against the mainstream and devil worshiping women tend to be free spirited and six kinds of freaky.

    • I’m not sure I understand that first sentence….

  14. Satanism will always seem like a viable alternative for the cool kids. Satan has really, really good PR people.

  15. Magical spells always seemed to me like way too much work, or as my Southern relatives used to say, “too much sugar for a nickel.”

    Maybe I’ve got a kick-the-feckin-thing-in mentality too.

  16. If you really want to injure someone, nothing beats the old “hitting them over the head with a bottle” spell.

  17. Modern Day equivalent seems to be “git a gun and pull trigger!” Sigh … the world is verra ill.
    Those tights oughta be burnt at the stake!

  18. Attendance is down at my local Church of Satan.

    Getting harder to find Virgins as well.

    Tom

    AKA His Infernal Majesty Zoltar Horncock

  19. I’m wondering what’s left for the Yedizi to eat with all those food taboos? Hair? Fingernails?

    And why do Satanic spells require toads most of the time? Can’t they require something a bit easier to find, like goldfish? You can win those at the county fair real easy.

  20. not being a big fan of okra myself, maybe i should consider wandering by the local Yezidi… ummm… monastery? temple? drive through? Gates o’ Hades?

  21. From what I’ve heard Satanism is actually a fairly reasonable religion, most of the different strains of it, have idiocy as a sin.

    They aren’t so much a worship of the devil more using the devil as a representation of the carnal desires, and as we know, theres nothing wrong with them.

  22. Whoever said magic spells are too much work is right. Often it’s much easier to just do the mundane. Like lighting a bag of dog poop on their porch.

  23. Satan Worshiping is making a return? That’s so 70s. LOL! But if it works for them, why not?

  24. Satanists don’t cast spells. You are confusing them with Wiccans, who make things like baskets out of straw. There also seems to be sum confusion between Satanism and Devil Worship.
    Satanists don’t believe in God as such and therefore don’t really believe in an actual Devil.
    Whereas Devil Worshipers do just that.

    Satanic Orgy anyone?

  25. you’d better tell wikipedia to lift their game Tom

    “Satanism is a term that refers to a number of related belief systems. Their commonality is that they all feature the veneration or admiration of Satan or similar figures”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanism

  26. Yeah well I suppose they reckon Glasgow rangers are a football team as well.

  27. back at ’em Tom 😉


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