how to make an erectile sundial

remember these instructions on how to pee with morning wood? Sexhax also tells you how to use your (or someone else’s) erect penis as a sun dial.


Marianne Batlle doesn’t make sundials with the real thing but she does create interesting make believe penises

chain penis green penis

Marianne is not trying to pretend her pieces are anything but replicas. Unlike the people at encantoman.


As well as their deceptive underwear, they also advertise an extender for circumcised men.

“Is what he inserts in your vagina really all him?”

Never mind that it makes his penis look like a hot dog sausage. You can check it out for yourself here. I can’t decide which is worse, the fake foreskin or the padded underwear. Gimcrack readers are advised to stick to sun dialling…..


Published in: on June 15, 2009 at 8:12 am  Comments (26)  

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26 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Does it work the same way in the southern hemisphere? Or does the sundial clock spin in the other direction?

  2. Well, that was definitely everything I always wanted to know about fake penises, but was afraid to ask.

  3. The only way to pee in the morning is by way of handstand, or by positioning yourself at least 3 metres fae the bowl itself.

    After sex the previous night, it is also advisable to adhere to the flute players finger technique to avoid the inevitable flood damage caused by the snake eyes effect.

  4. you know, if i discovered those padded ‘fake penis’ underthings on a gentleman, i’m not sure whether i’d point and laugh, walk out, or locate a sausage and some superglue… or all of the above. ugh!

  5. You can also use morning wood to comedic effect by hanging your tee-shirt or bedroom slipper on it.

    I hear.

  6. Wif my sundial, I usualy look forward to th witching hour, and always dread “Haff past a monkeys ass.”

  7. Great minds think alike. My friend Zeus has been discoursing on similar subjects overnight, though without genital involvement.

  8. I wonder if Viagra could be administered is doses to correct for declination?

    • Hi Zeus, welcome to the gimcrack

  9. When I was in college, I knit a penis cover for one of my roommate’s boyfriend. It had extra fuzzy balls that he particularly liked.

  10. I can’t believe I’ve been so naive, just assuming the penises (penii?) presented to me have been authentic! Well, no more. From now on, I’ll be giving them a good, solid yank just to make sure they’re real.

  11. I guess if woman can have fake boobies, men can can fake penises. I’d rather have the real thing, personally.

  12. Isn’t “hot dog sausage” redundant? Inquiring minds want to know while they simultaneously avoid the point.

  13. Is that picture of a dildo made of cactus?

    That seems like a tremendously bad idea.

  14. Good heavens – I’d better check ….. anyone got a magnifying glass?

  15. Is that an Aardvark he’s hiding in his briefs?

    • ahh…i wish this was my comment!

  16. I prefer boxers. Preferably with cartoon characters adorning them.

  17. Look, I don’t know what to comment as I am not near as funny as some of your freaky readers nursemyra! Sometimes, I get to your site and just marvel at their wit. Where did you find all these crazy people? …and the last image.. I have no words for that…only laughter.. Freaks rule!

  18. I’d be afraid of getting my sundial sunburned.

  19. “this is Spinal Tap” also tackled this very same subject..I think they recommend either armadillos, or cucumbers wrapped in tin foil.
    sounds uncomfortable and or figetty.
    also, in my part of the world, there is a popular bumper sticker that says “happiness is true north”.
    now I get it.
    thanks NurseMyra!

  20. I don’t think there is any dignified way to wear briefs with a padded crotch, let alone briefs with a padded crotch and a bundle of fruit design on them.

  21. You know, there are whole books that explain how to “pack” for lesbians and men who want to be admired, and whole classy catalogs selling the very convincing wherewithal. Should someone put these Fake Penis people out of their misery?

  22. What happens during Solar eclipse ?
    The penis dolls were kinda cute.

  23. Its five thirty seven… wow I’m pretty accurate.

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