tongueing it

ever since I wrote about the travelling figure eight technique of oral sex, I’ve had “dear nursemyra” letters from strangers wanting to know more about correct tongue placement. I usually refer them to this excellent link but unfortunately it doesn’t have explanatory images with the text

While this scan of English Phonetics doesn’t tell you how to perform the travelling figure eight, it does show you via palatograms how to pronounce tricky sentences like “Didn’t I see you at the station the other day?

tongue placement

An important part of all oral activities is holding the mouth correctly.

The proper embouchure allows the instrumentalist to play the instrument at its full range and without strain or damage to one’s muscles

embouchure

At the gimcrack, the only exploratory bulbs we use are attached to an enema bag, but in the field of phonetics they are used for recording variations in the height of the tongue and the pressure of the lips.

I don’t think reading this book will help anyone perfect the art of oral sex but it may result in a more refined accent. If your technique leaves a little to be desired perhaps your partner may be prepared to overlook your shortcomings if you surprise him with an inflatable tongue

inflatable tongue

Then again, perhaps not……..

Published in: on June 16, 2009 at 8:27 am  Comments (33)  

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33 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. A slow job is always a good job.

  2. poor soul that needs that inflatable tongue (laughing) most older guys seem to know how to do this correctly, but if she’s not on the celing just listen to “Uh” and s-l-o-w down..

  3. the traveling figure 8, or what i now call “sliding infinity” (an 8 on it’s side) could probably land me an insatiable a wealthy husband if i so wanted…

  4. Need to start selling this crap on an online store.

  5. Just think of lollipops.

    • Probably not a good idea in my case Nessa. I usually bite pieces out of mine

  6. I met a lot of girls who could use lessons with the tongue AND the hand! Some of them think they’re pulling carrots out of the ground. Of course, my methods need no improvement.

  7. OK, the inflatable tongue freaks me out.

  8. Perhaps Prof. ‘Enry ‘Iggins might be of further assistance?

  9. Sweet mother of Christ! At last.. a christmas pressie for the MIL which she most definitely hasn’t got.

    • Glad to be of help Jimmy

  10. I look very much forward to seeing the entire IPA applied to cunnilingus techniques.

  11. I have to start reading this blog at night. What am I supposed to do with all this at 9 am? And the tongue? Ew.

  12. YIKES! I fear a collapse should that tongue appear before me! I’m sure Shakespeare said something about that – – – hmm “Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act. Be thou familiar but by no means vulgar. “

    • “Familiar but by no means vulgar” just about sums up your blog Archie 😉

  13. i practice oral technique on animal crackers. chomp! chomp! chomp! i don’t get any complaints, and there isn’t any evidence left afterwards. yumm yumm.

  14. The Lava Flow Tip Flick comes well reviewed around here. Could follow from my interest in the Sackbut.

    Tom Boneist

  15. I can’t visualize what you are saying, based on the writing and illustrations, I’m just going to have to fly out there for a demo.

    • I’ll meet you at the airport with a bottle of champagne

  16. mmmm you would think a figure of 8 was simple to do…. one of my former liaisons would have found that easier to do on ice skates ;-(

  17. Don’t they have pills yet for tongue enhancement? They have it for other areas…

  18. I think “Seinfeld” had an episode dedicated to this issue.

  19. The Infinity Blow-Job returns!

  20. You oughtta write a primr on dicktion.

    • I thought that’s what the Gimcrack already was… 😉

  21. I am willing to give or take lessons.

  22. I will admit to being afraid of the inflatable tongue. And I’ll admit to anything else if it is pointed at me again.

  23. Excellent nursey!

    Tongue firmly in cheek once again.

  24. I was always told it was rude to speak with your mouth full ……. standards nowadays! …… tsk

  25. My friend is wondering if theres a post about cunnilingus on the way. He needs some tips…

  26. This ties in nicely with my previous dining out post. I shall take note of this.

  27. No “pictures”? 😦


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