you can’t just jam it up

Alfred Kinsey is known for his encyclopaedic surveys of human sexuality. He wanted to set up a dedicated laboratory in which to observe the responses of the body to sexual stimulation. Unable to secure enough funding for this project, he instead filmed himself and others in his own attic in Indiana.

swizzle sticks

“Kinsey inserted a swizzle stick into his urethra, tied a rope around his scrotum and then simultaneously tugged hard on the rope while he manouevered the stick deeper. He paused just long enough to explain to his fellow staff member and camerman why the knob on the end of the swizzle stick posed a problem. “There’s a little flap as you go partly up the urethra that you have to bypass, so you can’t just jam the thing in.”

Somehow I doubt that Kinsey was using anything as classy as these Memento Mori sticks which can be found at the link belowmemento mori skull swizzle sticksD.L & Co.

He was also known to have used a toothbrush. Though there is no word on whether or not he cleaned his teeth with it afterwards.

Published in: on June 27, 2009 at 7:21 am  Comments (44)  

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44 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Why? ………. no really ……. why?

  2. there is truly nothing new under the sun.

  3. “Why can’t you just jam it up” or “why would you think of doing such a thing in the first place”?

  4. Ouch and double ouch!

  5. all in the name of research.

  6. yeek! It is one thing to be a dedicated researcher – it is another thing to find warped things to research!

  7. ‘he instead filmed himself and others in his own attic in Indiana.’

    oh so when Kinsey does it its science, but when I make a video its… wait, he did what with a tooth brush?

  8. “You can’t just jam the thing in.” That is sage advice that has served me well throughout my life.

  9. I’m not a man, but I’m cringing.

  10. I have learned that I have to prepare myself for your blogs, NM!! I always cross my legs just in case! 🙂

  11. Look, we all blieve in dick-stickin. But some o us are Orthodox, while othrs are … Whats is it? … Deformd?

  12. Renalfailure – can you let the rest of the male population know about the jamming it in thing? Because many of the ones I’ve met clearly haven’t realised this is A Bad Thing.

  13. I’m still cringing at the thought. Please, for the love of krist.. put a hazard warning on any similiar topics regarding penile intrusion!

    • ooops….. sorry Jimmy

  14. Sweet Jesus, a toothbrush? Fuck human sexuality, dude was doing hardcore studies in masochism.

  15. now that explains everything, i’ll let rip know where we’ve been going wrong with this..

  16. You write the most cringe-worthy posts in the ether.

  17. this sounds like the modern fetish of ‘sounding’ in its early days… I’m yet to try sounding, but I’m seeing my dungeon master tomorrow in Sth Dublin so I will ask him to try it on me and report back!

  18. Science Rocks.

  19. I would say Kinsey went above and beyond the call of duty here.

  20. Hey, I gotta swizzle stick in need of urethra. Let’s mix things up.

  21. Holey moley…tell me he lubed it first. Every now and then I am reminded that I have not seen and heard everything. I’m thinking a cool Jell-O compress would feel nice when he was done.

  22. I’d appreciate a Jell-O compress. Or better yet, a Jell-O shot. Do you have your own blog Elizabeth?

    • No she doesn’t…and it is our collective loss.

  23. I’ve seen OT nurses clean endoscopes with bristled brushes. They’re quite interesting.
    A wooden brush would perhaps be suitable for stallions in stud.

  24. the toothbrush? wasn’t Kinsey’s. it belonged to the dude who refused to fund his research…

    • haha…. good one daisyfae

  25. I am literally crying from disgust and pain.

  26. Ok, I just tried it. I don’t think you are supposed to put the bristled end in first.

  27. Makes one wonder how deep Liam Neeson’s research went in order to play Kinsey in the movie of the same name.

  28. WARNING: if you are grazing at the computer, you may want to finish what you are eating before reading further.

    Continuing the thread of “cringe factor”, I am reminded of two incidents whereby I assured myself I had surely seen and heard everything in my career as a psychiatric nurse.

    The first incident involved an elderly male patient who had a pathologically voracious appetite. He would forage though garbage cans, eat leftovers from other patients plates, eat decaying refuse, cat excrement, anything and everything. The staff was forever redirecting him from garbage receptacles. One morning, a pregnant patient experienced morning sickness and hurled all over the floor. This male patient promptly fell to his knees in front of the chunky puddle. Using his forefinger and middle finger as a eating utensil, he scooped up the vomit in staccato fashion and started eating it. In my most professional tone, I barked at him “get the hell away from here!!”

    The second incident occurred shortly after moving to Las Vegas. I observed a male in an exaggerated reclining position at a bus stop early in the morning. His pants were unzipped and he was masturbating in the most urgent fashion one could possibly imagine. The gaping mouth and furrowed brow on his grizzly face said it all. I pointed him out to my two young daughters and told my daughters “welcome to Las Vegas!”

    But, as I am learning, the Gimcrack has more of these recoiling anecdotes. Keep ’em coming.

    • Eating vomit…. aaarrrggggghhhhh……

      • Looks like you people have not heard about “Two girls one Cup”….

  29. how on earth did he think that one up?

  30. As I understand it, Kinsey had a member the size of a small nuclear assault missile, so perhaps the insertion of the toothbrush was to him what a waxed piece of thread would be to the normal population.

    It’s all relative.

    But I’m still not trying it.

  31. Every time I read about the swizzle stick into his urethra, I feel… woozy… Have you read TC Boyle’s, “The Inner Circle” A good book, I thought.

    • I do like TC Boyle’s books. though I haven’t read that one, will keep an eye out for it.

  32. He was also known to have used a toothbrush.
    I hope he used toothpaste too.

  33. That is just wrong. I don’t mind a bit of playing around but how far gone is one mind to think of 1X Penis and 1X Tooth brush = aahhh!!

    • Joe, can you add your blog link when you leave comments? Otherwise I can’t reciprocate

  34. There’s precious little to be proud of in Indiana. Duesenberg, Cord, and Auburn cars. Cummins diesel engines. John Dillinger. Columbus (my hometown and an architectural Mecca), DC Stevenson and the Ku Klux Klan; but I LOVE that Alfred Kinsey researched from Bloomington, IN. My favorite town in the world.

  35. hi mike, welcome to the gimcrack 🙂

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