alert testicles

Apparently semen leakage is thought of as a disorder in some circles and would like to cure men of this predisposition.

eugen sandow as farnese hercules

An important step for overcoming this problem is to get rid of the masturbation habit. Intake of more proteins must be increased. Reduce the amount of caffeine, minimise red meat and dairy products. More juices and water must be consumed. This kind of diet supports more firm and engorged erection, which last longer. The prostate and testicles feel more alert and energised.”


More news on the sperm front includes the use of bull semen as hair conditioner.

“The bull semen, which is combined with a protein rich plant root, Katera, promises to both strengthen and add shine to your hair. The masque is odorless, and is massaged into the hair and scalp and left on for 30 minutes. Then the product is rinsed out and your hair is styled as normal.”


And I can’t help but think this website must be a spoofy one. Sold on a monthly basis, semen face cream will be delivered by the courier of your choice.


The clean and washed semen comes in a small plastic packet which has been frozen and tested for all STI’s and HIV. The test document will be included. You will also receive a set of surgical gloves if you would like to use them.

experiments with plague 1912

The packs are frozen and can be stored in your freezer.

The product is for EXTERNAL USE ONLY.

We can if you wish include a scented organic oil and plain face cream for you to mix with the CMEN. Each pack should provide you with 2-3 applications. We advise mixing the semen with the oil or cream or even a little egg white and applying after a face scrub and leaving for 15-20 minutes.


Published in: on July 11, 2009 at 9:17 am  Comments (38)  

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38 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. And with an order of three or more you get a pearl necklace at no extra charge – call now!

  2. It sounds like they’re taking the piss, although I guess they would then be including urine beauty treatments…

  3. Semen as conditioner… funny, most girls don’t like it when you shoot a wad in their hair.

  4. I’m right with on enjoying a preliminary taste- that nice little drop or two- but I might give up that enjoyment for a “firm and engorged erection which lasts longer”…..

    • Well, since you put it that way…..

  5. I’m more than willing to supply taste tests to any female on request. Please email me at the usual address…. no fees please.

  6. I didnt think fokes wore masturbation habits anymore.

    • Atlas Cerise has a cupboard full

      • My favorites are the ones Joey gave me.

  7. That first picture is enough to scare any guy. I would know, because, well, I am a guy.

    Thomas πŸ™‚

  8. semen is magical stuff! makes you lose weight, clears your complexion (whether ingested or used topically), makes you smarter and has even been reported to cure warts!

    at least that’s what the guys tell me…

    • …. and that’s what you pretend to believe πŸ˜‰

  9. “β€œAn important step for overcoming this problem is to get rid of the masturbation habit.”

    What’s many a man to do when corset Friday comes rolling along? Lots of pre-cum and more over those I’m sure my dear nurse.

  10. Have you missed me? Of course you have …… anyway, I’m fine, testimonials and prostate and everything …… I think ………..

  11. If overcoming semen leakage means I have to give up my favorite hobby, then I’m afraid that this particular dysfunction, should I ever acquire it, will be here to stay.

    I use to try and convince the gals that my semen tasted like birthday cake but nobody ever believed it.

    • Hint: not all girls like birthday cake (try chocolate next time)

      • And some girls like a high-protein diet!! That’s always a good argument!
        And, some of us just like the taste of cum… plain and simple.

      • All you girls who love the sauce with the sausage, read this .

      • ~uh~ is there anything you don’t know? you surprised me with this one.

  12. I don’t consider it leakage. I consider it an advance payment.

    • oh that’s too funny Thomas

  13. i want to comment here i really do but i’m afraid i have no idea what to comment…nope still can’t think of anything to say..

  14. …if you will allow me to take this thread a little bit further…I have a joke about smegma:

    Smegma Poetry

    There once was a girl from Heath
    She liked to peel back foreskin with her teeth
    It wasn’t for money or anything funny
    but to get to the cheese underneath.

    • Elizabeth, you really SHOULD have a blog

      • “smegma” may be one of the best words ever… and to use it in a limerick? beauty!

  15. There are three words, I have learned today, that do not go together and leave a pleasant…um, picture in my mind- and they are

    cold, hair and semen…


  16. The breast milk facial was interesting, and cheaper than the semen cream.

    • But still… $300 per month…. wow

  17. I read somewhere onetime that this guy sowed bull semen into his fields.

    I don’t remember why, but it was ruinously expensive, i remember that.

    • do you mean he fielded some bull semen into his sow?

  18. Woah, woah, woah, you lost me at “stop the masturbation habit.” That’s not really an option when we live so far apart! πŸ˜‰ And besides, I agree with you anyways on ‘leakage’ not being a problem – I consider it a sign of good times ahead πŸ˜›

  19. I think I need to change my eating habits, so that the wife will enjoy hers more!! Hehe!! πŸ™‚

  20. You got me with the first half of the second line of your post, I’m still coming to grips with that!

    The King

  21. well I’m home sick today with an upper respiratory tract infection. Anyone donating pre cum for medicinal purposes would have to be able to shoot it out from five paces!

  22. 5 paces only πŸ˜€

    • well pre cum isn’t usually ejaculated with the same force as sperm. I’ve only ever seen it leak out. But please correct me if yours comes with its own propulsion Spike

      • Nah, no such advancement yet… (I think I missed the “pre” in the pre-cum :P)

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