torn from the deep waters of Mediocrity

A B Saliger filed a patent for an Automatic Mind Control Suggestion Machine back in 1927. It was marketed as the Psycho Phone, a wonder-working talisman that would bring you the things you wanted.

psycho phone

It’s rather disappointing to find it’s not a machine that puts one in touch with those who have “passed over”. Nor is it a hotline to Norman Bates.

norman_bates norman_as_mother

Psycho Minimates found here

As a mind control machine, the Psycho Phone had its drawbacks. Karl Hans Welz has something much better – the Chi Generator

“put it into your pocket, set your LPOG 2400 DL at the desired pulse speed, and go to a business meeting, on a date, to the gym, to a sports competition, or anywhere else. Nobody will notice your invisible helper! There is certainly no need for you to have those cumbersome and ridiculous goggles, earphones, or other contraptions, on your head ever again!

This fabulous machine can assist you to find love (just add leopard skin fabric and a photo of your intended)

chi findnewlove

or order the Aqua Optimiser to supercharge your drinking water

“Ask us for a FREE demo: We charge your water at a distance!”

get_money

In Nature parasitic fungi manipulate the behaviour of their hosts in order to increase their own chances of reproducing.

cordyceps-unilateralis

image found here

If you click the link above you can watch a video of a grasshopper committing suicide so the worm inside its body can live. Now that’s effective mind control…..

Published in: on July 30, 2009 at 9:42 am  Comments (34)  

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34 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. On July 30, 2009 at 10:28 am bearmancartoons said:

    Women seem to have this power naturally. They tend to make me do stupid things.

    Reply
  2. On July 30, 2009 at 10:36 am nursemyra said:

    “fess up bearman. what have they made you do lately?

    Reply
    • On July 30, 2009 at 10:56 pm bearmancartoons said:

      Buy a cat.
      Clean it’s litter.
      Watch it tear up my carpet without me going postal…

      that is just in the last 6 months.

      Reply
  3. On July 30, 2009 at 10:40 am daisyfae said:

    “In Nature parasitic fungi manipulate the behaviour of their hosts in order to increase their own chances of reproducing”

    oh. blame the parasitic fungi. it’s ALWAYS the parasitic fungi that makes me do those things in the bar… yes. that’s it…

    Reply
    • On July 30, 2009 at 10:45 am nursemyra said:

      No daisyfae – it’s your irresistibilty xx

      Reply
  4. On July 30, 2009 at 10:51 am The Unbearable Baishment said:

    oh my GOD! I read the entire post you linked to. It’s one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever seen. Can you imagine if this happened to humans!?

    If you need me I’ll be hiding under my bed…

    Reply
  5. On July 30, 2009 at 10:52 am mothboy said:

    Hey, there’s an insect in the blog and I am responding…

    No, actually it is because the subject line reminded me of the excellent Red Meat cartoons.

    Thanks Nurse.

    Reply
    • On July 30, 2009 at 11:16 am nursemyra said:

      I had to google Red Meat cartoons – hahaha… they’re hilarious

      Reply
  6. On July 30, 2009 at 11:27 am archiearchive FCD said:

    I fear I have been infected by something – There is this thing that sticks out of me each morning – – –

    Reply
  7. On July 30, 2009 at 12:52 pm bschooled said:

    I refuse to use anything less than $100 bills…two-ply.

    Reply
  8. On July 30, 2009 at 1:38 pm Jimmy Bastard said:

    You must have a very different internet to the rest of us, because all I can find on my comp is a complete load of crap.

    I’m hooked… more more more..

    Reply
  9. On July 30, 2009 at 2:17 pm Scott Oglesby said:

    That video was incredible! You just gave me a great idea for a movie. It has probably been done already though.

    I don’t know about the aqua optimizer, but I know I’m addicted to Pelligrino. I love that water!

    Reply
  10. On July 30, 2009 at 4:14 pm John M. said:

    I love the smell of orgone in the early-to-mid afternoon. It makes my Chi crackle.

    Mind control is on its way out. Transmigration and walk-ins are what all the young turks are into these days. ;}

    Reply
    • On July 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm nursemyra said:

      Thanks John M. and thanks for the link on your blog too

      Reply
  11. On July 30, 2009 at 4:53 pm Uncle Keith said:

    I hope my parasite likes beer, porn, no-sleep, and masturbation…cause he’s getting a steady diet of it lately.

    Reply
  12. On July 30, 2009 at 5:04 pm Nessa said:

    My worm likes to stay nestled deep inside me.

    Reply
  13. On July 30, 2009 at 5:19 pm Daddy Papersurfer said:

    The TG has been exercising mind control for a long time …. in fact she’s dictating this comment although she doesn’t realise it. Her powers are amazing ….. and are rather scary …..

    Reply
  14. On July 30, 2009 at 5:37 pm tom gaylord said:

    this post is SCARY!

    Reply
    • On July 30, 2009 at 10:23 pm nursemyra said:

      You can talk Tom 😉

      Reply
  15. On July 30, 2009 at 6:57 pm VE said:

    Tomorrow, Friday, your blog will be officially spoofed over at my place. That’s right…your time has come!

    Reply
  16. On July 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm renalfailure said:

    Got anything in a leopard skin, my good nurse? You wouldn’t need any mind control devices or parasites on me then.

    Reply
    • On July 30, 2009 at 10:24 pm nursemyra said:

      I’ll look for a leopard print corset in Singapore RF. Just for you…

      Reply
  17. On July 31, 2009 at 12:27 am Anita Marie said:

    I never thought I’d say this but
    ewwwww
    Oh and…
    Well done.

    Reply
  18. On July 31, 2009 at 1:22 am G said:

    Incredibly odd.

    But as always, a very good read.

    Reply
  19. On July 31, 2009 at 1:22 am inkspot said:

    Wouldn’t this mind-control gadget make your life at the Gimcrack a bit easier? You know, enforcing the no-groping rule and such-like.

    Reply
  20. On July 31, 2009 at 2:33 am alantru said:

    Psycho Phone, Qu’est-ce que c’est?
    fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
    phone phone phone phone phone phone right away

    Reply
  21. On July 31, 2009 at 3:09 am Pil said:

    Never have I been less likely to click a link.

    Reply
    • On July 31, 2009 at 8:14 am nursemyra said:

      Is that a challenge Pil?

      😉

      Reply
  22. On July 31, 2009 at 8:19 am 70steen said:

    absolutely fascinating ….watched all the videos… I am however, a bit disturbed by the lego figures though…

    Reply
  23. On July 31, 2009 at 8:21 am fundamentaljelly said:

    I knew there was something about parasites I didn’t like. Cool stuff.

    Reply
  24. On July 31, 2009 at 12:23 pm frigginloon said:

    Hey there Nurse Myra,hmm, I am guessing Combantrin won’t be helping that poor soul. Now Norman Bates would have stuffed the hopper and mounted him on the wall. Imagine how much more scary Psycho would be with the bird sounds being replaced with crickets. Never friggin camp again 🙂

    Reply

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