Volga vulvas

Sydney’s Kings Cross has had its fair share of colourful characters. Back in the 1950s, Luba Shishova had a wild weekend that started off with her getting married, then getting drunk, then performing not one but two impromptu strips on the footpath outside coffee shops in an effort to extract money from their proprietors.

“She danced for the patrons at the Moka with her skirt pulled high above her waist, it was noted that she was not wearing any underwear. She then repeated the act outside the Hasty Tasty, all the time blistering the paintwork with her language.

Newspapers reported that Luba turned up drunk at Central Court, legs unshaven and wearing a skimpy polka dot bikini. She explained that this was what she was wearing when she was arrested so this was what she would wear in court.”

(NOT Luba’s legs)

Sydney has a history of bikinied Russians hitting the headlines.

On January 14 1979, the young Russian stewardess, Lillian Gasinskaya,  squeezed through a porthole of the cruise ship, Leonid Sobinov, into the chill, dark waters of Black Wattle Bay and within 48 hours became the girl in the red bikini, a face, a figure and a name on the front pages of the world’s newspapers.

Not long after this she became Australian Penthouse’s first Pet of the Month. The red bikini was nowhere to be seen though there had been a modicum of shaving going on……..

3 jacks and the prestidigitator

At the beginning of the 20th century professional boxers were allowed to strip to the waist but women spectators were excluded from watching. When the 1908 World Heavyweight Title was fought at Sydney Stadium, the wife of novelist Jack London, Charmian Kittredge, disguised herself in men’s clothing and snuck in.

image of Charmian found here

From Jack London’s wikipedia page:

Finding that the prim and genteel lady was lustful and sexually vigorous in private was like discovering a secret treasure;” and according to Kershaw —”At last, here was a woman who adored fornication, expected Jack to make her climax, and to do so frequently.

image of Jack and Charmian found here

The contenders she snuck in to see were Jack Johnson, the first black world champion and Tommy Burns. The promoter Hugh McIntosh wrote “When the claret begins flowing, prizefighting is no place for the gentler sex”

Jack Johnson knew the effect he had on women and exploited it fully. There were rumours that he padded his tights and he created a scandal by inviting female admirers to visit him in his room at Watson’s Bay Hotel. According to folklore they formed an orderly queue.

There is no evidence Charmian was part of that queue. After Jack London’s death, however, she continued her lustful ways with several other lucky men, including Harry Houdini whom she called her “Magic Man”.

image of Houdini and Jack Dempsey found here

t shirt friday 28.8.2009

70s is joining in

more players: gitwizard, gnukid, silverstar

and even more: yorksnbeans, sledpress, renalfailure,

The Queen of Stanmore and healingmagichands

do you dribble or stream?

Yesterday we looked at the meaning of mushka shapes and the colouring of a man’s lingara according to Body Reading by Ohja & Ohja. Today we’re talking urine and semen

“If your urine stream makes a sound when it falls to earth it means you will have a comfortable life. No sound means you will be poor. Two or more streams to the right indicate a person of exalted position. One stream to the left indicates that you will be unfortunate. If your urine dribbles in all directions this means poverty.

Semen has many different smells, some attractive and others not so pleasant.

image of gas mask by Chris Domino found here

fish = rich, having many sons

clarified butter = very learned

wine = performs religious sacrifices

lotus = will be king

shellac = poor father of many daughters

honey = rich and endearing to ladies

soda = poverty

meat = a thief who knows how to enjoy life

fragrant = riches and splendour

obnoxious odour = poverty

marrow = addicted to vice

fat = misery

read about the boat powered by human fat here

Before we close the book, “Body Reading” has a final piece of advice for men considering matrimony….

“One should marry a woman whose gait is like that of  a swan or an elephant, whose glance is like that of an intoxicated pigeon and voice like that of a cuckoo. But do not under any circumstances, marry a woman with three breasts!”

globular and slightly rosy

According to Body Reading by Ohja Ohja, the testicles are called Mushkas in Sanskrit.

“The person having only one mushka meets his death by drowning. If they are not of equal size, he is a great flirt. If they are small the person is intelligent but short lived. Long ones indicate longevity. If they are globular and slightly rosy he is rich, if they have a dried up appearance he is poor. Persons having mushkas like those of horses, commit incest.

And here’s what Body Reading thinks the shape of your linga means

(a) Short (riches but no progeny)

(b) Thick (no wealth)

(c) Inclined to the left (no sons, no wealth)

(d) Inclined to the right (begets sons)

(e) Inclining down (poverty)

(f) cvered with visible veins (a few sons)

(g) Front portion hard (comfortable life)

Lingara refers to the front portion of the linga

“A lingara having the lustre of gold, silver, pearl or coral is commendable. If it is smooth, fleshy, evenly elevated, the man becomes a king and will enjoy women in abundant measure.

If it is elevated in the middle, the person owns a herd of cattle. If it is depressed in the middle he will beget more daughters. If it has different colours in different portions that is unfortunate.”

image taken at the penis museum iceland

the mysteries of Myra

Hereward Carrington was the founder of the Psychic Laboratory, author of a serial “The Mysteries of Myra” and the special effects consultant when it was made into a film.***

is that me in the corner?

He also wrote in 1949 for Fate Magazine, detailing the predictions and visions of Robert Lees, the psychic who claimed to have identified a doctor who was the real Jack the Ripper. Never let it be said that Hereward was a stranger to purple prose as evidenced in these excerpts from the article

“Dr. Lees developed an extraordinary faculty for “second sight” early in life, and that it enabled him to have insight into the nature of things hidden from the perceptions of ordinary men. At the age of 19, he was summoned before Queen Victoria, where he gave evidence of his unusual clairvoyant gift, “exciting her utmost wonderment.”

descendant of Queen Victoria found here

Dr. Lees turned his mind inward with its impalpable sensitivity to Jack the Ripper, and wandered through the streets of London “like a bloodhound following hot upon a scene!” The Inspector and his aides followed a few feet behind him.

At last, at 4 o’clock in the morning, with face pale and eyes bloodshot with effort, Dr. Lees halted at the gates of a West End mansion. Gasping through cracked and swollen lips, he pointed to an upper chamber where a faint light was visible. “In that room you will find the murderer you seek!” he said.

The doctor was awakened and confronted with the accusation that he was responsible for the Ripper murders. At first he recoiled in shock and horror at the bold statement that he was a brutal murderer. Then he shook his head in bewilderment, and his shoulders slumped in puzzlement and weariness.

An exhaustive inquiry before a commission in lunacy developed the fact that the doctor was sufferering from a split personality with paranoid tendencies . . . and while, in one mind, he was a prominent and respected doctor of medicine, in the other, he was an inhuman beast, with an insatiable urge to slit the throats and mutilate the bodies of women who prostitute themselves.

The physician was removed to a private asylum where he became the most cunning and dangerous madman confined in that institution.

In order to account for the disappearance of the doctor, a sham death by drowning in the Thames, and burial were gone through, and an empty coffin was deposited in the family vault.

Back in the private mental sanitarium, none of the keepers ever knew that the desperate and violent maniac who threw himself from side to side in his padded cell, and made long night vigils at the window facing outside, emitting piercing cries of frustration, was the famous Jack the Ripper ! To them, he was simply “No. 124.”

image by Namio found here

*** Another arrow in Hereward’s quiver is this book “Fasting for Health and Long Life“

squeeze a pimple, mix with pork brain

Hulda Regehr Clark wrote a book with the grandiose title “The Cure for All Cancers”.

“Imagine that you were instructed to eat a certain food, then squeeze a pimple on your body and place the emerging fluid on the device next to a sealed plastic bag of the same food. Imagine that you were then to connect the contraption to your knuckles by means of two leads and listen to the sound emanating from a little speaker in the apparatus.

If you want to know whether there is any aluminum in your brain, weakening it and therefore making it more susceptible to disease, the Syncrometer can tell you. According to the detailed instructions, just buy a piece of pork brain, place it on the device next to a piece of aluminum, attach the leads and listen for “resonance. ” The pork brain, you see, guides the instrument where to look, and the piece of aluminum tells it what to look for. Similarly, you can use a piece of fish intestine to test for parasites in your colon.

BestZapper.com can sell you a device that is based on Clarke’s Syncrometer “but with small changes to improve battery life and stabilize the sound”

Dr. Clark asked for three units to test, and then wrote, “They did have the best sound I had ever heard, so to speak.” We test and calibrate each SuperTone by hand to the exact specifications developed by Dr. Clark. She suggested we call them the SuperTone, because of our superior sound clarity

WARNING NOTE

These units require a solid commitment to master. Prepare to practice 1 to 2 hours per day for 3 months to become proficient. Dr. Clark recommends 6 months of practice before testing for others.

are you pro sperm?

Prosperm is a fertility enhancer that can result in a significant increase in boar matings and in piglets per litter. What’s in it? Docosahexaenoic acid, which is readily isolated from tuna.

“Some unethical entrepreneurs are suggesting that the “Tuna Love Pill”  would have a similar effect on humans (a 15% increase in boar sperm count and a 20% increase in testicle size).”

enlargement reviews.org suggest another way to enlarge your testicles: have a woman place them in her mouth.

“One of the best techniques involves a partner. She takes your balls in her mouth one at a time, gently sucking them, and licking them. After a while she can take two balls at once. You can slowly stroke your dick or simply relax.”

Good luck with that one boys.

image by Horst

Syracuse University did a study in 2006 on the testicle sizes of bats.

“Biologist Scott Pitnick found that in bat species where the females are promiscuous, the males boasting the largest testicles also had the smallest brains.

In species where the females had a large number of mates, Pitnick found testes ranged from 0.6 percent to 8.5 percent of the males’ mass. The male who ejaculates the greatest number of sperm wins the game, and hence many bats have evolved outrageously big testes.

corset friday 21.8.2009

well whaddya know. I’ve got a player over at the trailer park

ruminate on this

In February 1907, the British Medical Journal ran an article titled Mercyism or Rumination in Man. It was also recorded in Chambers’ Book of Days.

“Mrs. Piozzi, in her Tour in Italy, remembered seeing a man respected in his profession, who chewed the cud like an ox. He is apparently much like any other tall stout man, but has many extraordinary properties, being eminent for strength, and possessing a set of ribs and sternum very surprising, and worthy the attention of anatomists.

His body, upon the slightest touch, even through all his clothes, throws out electric sparks; he can reject his meals from his stomach at pleasure; and did absolutely, in the course of two hours, go through, to oblige me, the whole operation of eating, masticating, swallowing, and returning by the mouth a large piece of bread and a peach.

more peachy images at Perpetual Ocean

This human chewer of the cud was not such a singular being as Mrs. Piozzi imagined. Fabricius ab Aquapendente records two similar cases coming under his own observation. One was a monk, who rejoiced in another bovine characteristic, his forehead being adorned with a pair of horns.

image found here

The other ruminant was not so ornamented himself; but was the son of a one-horned parent; he was a Paduan nobleman, and Fabricius had the satisfaction of dissecting him, and proving the falseness of Bartholin’s theory, that human ruminants possessed double stomachs. Lynceus tells us of Anthony Recchi, who was obliged to retire from the dinner-table to ruminate undisturbed, and who declared that the second process of mastication ‘was sweeter than honey, and accompanied with a delightful relish.’

Image of items swallowed by patients found at Glore  Psychiatric Museum