squeeze a pimple, mix with pork brain

Bird-Brain t-shirt by Erin King

Hulda Regehr Clark wrote a book with the grandiose title “The Cure for All Cancers”.

“Imagine that you were instructed to eat a certain food, then squeeze a pimple on your body and place the emerging fluid on the device next to a sealed plastic bag of the same food. Imagine that you were then to connect the contraption to your knuckles by means of two leads and listen to the sound emanating from a little speaker in the apparatus.


If you want to know whether there is any aluminum in your brain, weakening it and therefore making it more susceptible to disease, the Syncrometer can tell you. According to the detailed instructions, just buy a piece of pork brain, place it on the device next to a piece of aluminum, attach the leads and listen for “resonance. ” The pork brain, you see, guides the instrument where to look, and the piece of aluminum tells it what to look for. Similarly, you can use a piece of fish intestine to test for parasites in your colon.


BestZapper.com can sell you a device that is based on Clarke’s Syncrometer “but with small changes to improve battery life and stabilize the sound”

Dr. Clark asked for three units to test, and then wrote, “They did have the best sound I had ever heard, so to speak.” We test and calibrate each SuperTone by hand to the exact specifications developed by Dr. Clark. She suggested we call them the SuperTone, because of our superior sound clarity



These units require a solid commitment to master. Prepare to practice 1 to 2 hours per day for 3 months to become proficient. Dr. Clark recommends 6 months of practice before testing for others.


Published in: on August 24, 2009 at 7:27 am  Comments (36)  

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36 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Plenty of fish intestines in my aquarium but I couldn’t bring myself to cut the fish open. Pork brain wouldn’t be kosher.

    • there’s nothing about that advice that is in the least bit kosher

  2. ‘Similarly, you can use a piece of fish intestine to test for parasites in your colon.’

    So I just poo in the fish?

    • Yes, just choose one with a nice wide mouth or use a funnel

  3. I lost track of what I’m trying to cure ……. perhaps I’ll go and catch something first and then ask for specific advice ……….

  4. I feel sick, I think I am coming down with something…oh wait I can use the …ah never mind! I think I’ll just pay my $60 and be told but the good doc there ain’t any cure for what you got!

  5. I hate the cooties.

  6. Dr. Clark gives PhD’s a bad name… for that matter, she gives zitts a bad name. and fish intestines. and parasites…

  7. You’re not helping cure me of my nurse fetish with illustrations like that!

    The King

    • my evil plan is working

  8. What I hate about people like this is that they encourage the false dichotomy between mainstream medicine and psychotic ramblings.

    When accepted medical science has to backpedal from some assertion about the causes of disease — dietary or iatrogenic, think of the recent hormone replacement studies or the now common dietary recommendations for all kinds of health issues — usually they are twenty years behind someone branded “alternative.” And for those twenty years in between, anyone who sounded an alarm in support of the eventually vindicated theory was getting jeered at and compared to some wingnut with an electric machine that could hear fish intestines.

  9. I never got cooties from a girl. I did get mono once.

  10. OMG, i’ll be back i’m gonna blow now…couldnt get past the second paragraph although i’m sure it was a very interesting post as always NM…you’ve got some guts there girl.

    • Rip will be pleased ….

      • πŸ™‚

    • NM, you’v ebeen tagged by me. just wanted you to know we re curious about you (wonder why)! do yoou want to play?

  11. I am imagining so much my mind has gone blank … perhaps I should go and stand in the goldfish bowl and try to sitch on the lights (in my brain) lol πŸ˜‰

    • whoops ‘switch’

  12. Hey! SuperTone! I could use some of that for my studio.

    • I thought of you when I was researching this πŸ™‚

      • Happy Birthday, by the way! (Now it’s out!)

  13. Birthday girl? They have birthday celebrations in Australia? I thought only we did that.

    Anyway I wanted you to know I helped stimulate the Chinese economy (and assorted US trade franchises) by purchasing my FIRST couple bottles of ANT juice thanx to your article you posted several months ago.
    I actually got very interested in it and did some research and decided to shell out not a little amount of US fiat money for the stuff. I feel sorry for the ants but, well, Im not a member of PETA anymore anyway.

    Happy Birthday Nursemyra! All the way from the other side of the world(almost).

    • oh my god! You may live to be 231

  14. Are they foot nibbling fish?

    HB NM!

    • thanks sweetie xx

  15. But what if you don’t have any pimples to pop?

    I would love to hear the reason that pork brain is able to guide the instrument where to look. The scientific reason mind you. I finally remembered to link you!

    • oh i don’t think there’s any reason, she just fished that idea out of a tank

  16. Happy Birthday Nurseymyra! Hope you have a simply marvellous day! xx

    • Happy birthday NM !!

      xxxx (I’ll give you Julie’s two kisses and double them) πŸ˜‰

      • aw… thanks guys….

  17. As an ex-shrink I hesitate to enter this blog, but happy 21st birthday.

    • Even practicing shrinks are welcome here Dave πŸ˜‰

  18. That restraint chair drawing looks like Dr. Benjamin Rushs. The father of psychiciatry.
    The brain is diseased it was claimed.
    Today they still can’t find the disease they are curing.

    • Yeah – that’s the same chair all right. Scary.

  19. Hi there! I simply wish to give you a huge thumbs up for the excellent info you have got right here on this post. I’ll be coming back to your web site for more soon.

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