giddyup on a faux horse


Even in long ago Tudor times people knew the importance of exercise. But England’s weather being what it was, getting out and about for a quick gallop wasn’t always possible. Hence the invention of a spring loaded exercise chair or artificial horse

“It was a padded chair fitted on top of stout springs. The springs ran down to the ground and were attached to a wooden base. The rider sat in the chair and rocked himself violently backward and forward or up and down as if trotting briskly on a horse. “


image from Modern Mechanix

Several centuries later and you can buy a more up to date version here

“This is the latest hi-tech horse riding machine designed to give you an effortless exercise work-out, whilst helping you tone and condition muscles known to help you improve your figure. You just sit on the comfortable ergonomic seat, choose a program and let it do the work. To believe it, you have to ride it!”

exercise horse

I’ve never really understood the ponygirl fetish but there’s lots of devotees to this practice. Mariko Sugawa can make it look sexy and so did Maggie Gyllenhall in Secretary. But apart from that there’s something about a metal bit and a billiard ball in the mouth that leaves me feeling cold.

mariko sugawa

image found here

In 17th century France a famous “talking” horse named Morocco could perform mathematical calculations and other feats.

“He was charged with “consorting with the Devil,” but he saved his and his master’s lives by kneeling, seemingly repentant, before Church authorities.”


In 1929, the man who later coined the term ESP, Dr. J.B. Rhine, was taken in by a supposedly telepathic horse named Lady Wonder. Rhine believed Lady actually had psychic power and he set up a tent near her Virginia barn so he could scientifically study her apparent abilities. Lady was trained to operate a contraption—somewhat like an enlarged typewriter—consisting of an arrangement of levers that activated alphabet cards.”

Of course, these animals were not really able to talk or read minds but they probably put on pretty entertaining shows. Whether their performances were as good as this one by Dita Von Teese would depend on how you like your horses…..


Published in: on September 17, 2009 at 9:40 am  Comments (28)  

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28 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Here’s a pony that gives a good ride… these things are pretty fascinating.

  2. To Daisy’s link: A semi-regular schtick on the Howard Stern radio show is that they get women to ride that thing to orgasm. If people in the office knew I was listening to a girl cum they’d fire me. Nurse: Do you know about It’s linked to the sex carnival site. I like the authenticity of it.

    • Yeah, I do know about that site. doesn’t really turn me on but then again I’m a fussy bitch these days

  3. Ah, restraints! I saw Secretary, unusual movie…

    I am surprised at your restraint, I expected to see a more ‘equipped’ version of the at home saddle!

  4. I’m trying to raise the tone around here 🙂

    • Raise the tone? As in toning down your delightful journeys into historic behavior and misbehavior? Tell me it’s not so.

  5. You are amazing NM…not only are you enlightening me on a daily basis, I know know that if I ever get an STD, I can blame it on the horse rides at the carnival…

    • Sure it wasn’t the torn tshirt, smoking carny that caught your eye.

  6. I saw on of those horse riding machines the last time I was in a Brookstone. I actually sat on it for like 10 minutes and didn’t feel much of a workout. I know it was advertised for core strengthening but I wonder I just have the wrong parts to enjoy it. I know those ‘back massagers’ sure tricked me!

  7. Ditch those fake rides, go with the real thing. Your figure will thank you!

    • another thing we agree upon. are you sure we aren’t twins separated at birth?

  8. Horses make my bum sore ……

    • Not as sore as an elephant would …

  9. Does my 18 inch RAMBONE dildo count as one of Said horseys? I ride him with such vigour, the vigour of Pharlap!

  10. Who hasn’t been taken in by a supposedly telepathic horse from time to time. Fool me once, bridle on you… fool me twice, damn- fell for that bit again. Neigh makes a good equine safe word.

    Reiner Headstall

    • “Whinny” is my equine safe word

  11. Obviously they hadn’t discovered that sex is quite the effective cardio workout.

  12. I like that you are raising the tone around here. Personally, I like the picture of Dita von Teese and went off to visit the site that has a gallery of pictures of her. What a beautiful woman! And she is so in shape — very inspirational.

  13. Pony play, myra? I’m shocked, shocked to find fetshiness going on here.
    And if you believe that, I’ve got some soon-to-be beachfront property you may be interested in.


  15. i’ve read victorian prose before. i know what goes on in england. when the weather is bad, they gallop in bed. it’s true!

  16. Oooh i love her red ballerina shoes! :p

  17. PONIES!

    • Just for you darlin’

  18. A horse and pole double ride. Interesting hint of the possibilities.

  19. Metal bit and billiard ball may leave you feeling cold, but they leave me feeling hot, so I hope they come back. Gidap!

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