richie’s great uncle

In 1940, James Branson suggested to the Minister for Health that it would be a good idea for Britishers to learn to eat fresh green grass.

Mr. Walter Elliott, the British Minister of Health, was not amused. The human stomach, said he stiffly, cannot digest grass.

alligator ride

“A Branson,” replied well-stomached Mr. B., “never says can’t. … I have eaten grass mowings regularly for over three years, and off many lawns. The sample I am eating at present comes off a golf green on Mitcham Common.”

Cannabis_sativa bonsai

image found here

When Mr. Branson, a vegetarian, first sampled grass, he had a little trouble with his stomach. A merely temporary obstacle. “I passed down word by ‘autosuggestion’ to my body-building staff,” wrote he, “that I wanted them to sample a new form of ‘building material’ . . . and I boldly ‘steamed ahead.’ ” Beginning with a few choice blades at each meal, he gradually worked up to over five ounces of fodder a day, can now “fearlessly consume any type of meadow grass.” He collects fresh mowings, washes them tenderly, sets them out in the sun to dry, then nibbles them with fruit and cheese, or tosses them up with dressing in a variety of tasty salads. Sample: grass mowings with “broken Dad’s Cookie Biscuits and currants”; with equal quantities of rose petals; with uncooked oats.

compost ad

He claims that grass eating has enhanced his “activity, vitality, enthusiasm and vigor,” so that he cycles “100 miles a day without any exhaustion.” But he warned his readers to go slow. To an inexperienced stomach, said he, grass brings “super-purgation.”

eugenesandow

Branson, a London lawyer, published a pamphlet entitled Eating For Victory – Unorthodox Views on Diet and Religion followed by a Book of Recipes – 50 Recipes for the use of Grass in Salads and Cooked Dishes.Here below is an extract

“Not only has my experiment maintained me in perfect health but it has actually enhanced my vitality. In fact it has gone far further and at the age of 67 has produced a surprising rejuvenation accompanied by astonishing powers of endurance.

From actual experience I’ve found that I can live for days on nothing but grass mowings and sugar. What is still more surprising, I can eat the grass better without my false teeth, just mumbling it to mix it with plenty of saliva.”

sugar1

and guess who James Branson’s great nephew is…..

Published in: on September 27, 2009 at 8:46 am  Comments (34)  

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34 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. don’t know about eating grass, but I like to looks of that bonsai….

  2. Super-purgation?? Hmmm….i could use a bit of grass right now then….need to lose some weight :p

  3. Great nephew? I know, I know! (He said, grassticulating wildly from the back of the class…)

    • “grassticulating”… haha, very funny coyote

  4. We could get him one of those pots of grass they sell fr indoor cats.

  5. Today at the Cabramatta Moon Festival my friend drank a large serve of Pennywort Juice. It looked like a grass shake. It did not taste as nice as the shakes I made during my ‘green smoothie’ phase.

    I also need to say that this blog shakes up my understanding of reality with every encounter. It hints at the stranger than fiction ideal and then surpasses even that with its catalogue of absudirty and general hikinks. I am whelmed and delighted, daily. I mean, is the world actually happening around me? Or is life one long confused post from the Gimcrack?!

    Have other commentators hit this epiphany already?

    • Working at the Gimcrack has made my life one long confused post that’s for sure. I definitely used to be normal

      • Nonono archie – Do not comment! DON’T!

  6. Who is his nephew????

    • someone famous with the surname of Branson…..

    • Probably someone who believes being a virgin for a record length of time is all that is needed for a plane life – – –

  7. How I love eccentrics. And you’re so good at finding them Nurse Myra!

    • Will I find any more in those books you gave me?

      • Oh yes, you will!

  8. Mr. Branson’s grandson wants to have my baby… he just doesn’t know it yet… grrrr…. and bring on the Ganja-bonsai! who could be so patient?

    • I wonder if that bonsai is extra potent? I love the look of bonsais but feel sorry for the stunted little things. Maybe because I relate: I sometimes feel like an old stunted little thing.

  9. I wonder if he inadvertently moos from time to time.

  10. Perhaps he simply loved the smell of freshly mown grass…

    The King

  11. And poor Ivan Lendl thought grass is for cows.

  12. And the nephew is of course Richard Branson.

  13. That … is absolutely amazing. I’m now sorry that I took out my lawn for more eco-friendly landscaping.

  14. The grass is always not-greener on the other side of the colon.

    Lawn Cheney

    • haha very funny Lawn

  15. This is so not normal (the concept of eating grass that is), but it wouldn’t surprise if vegans/PETa found a way to object to it on the grounds that the bugs/insects would be hurt.

    By the by, would that person’s first name be Richard?

  16. Such an obvious concept. Why didn’t I think of it. There’s such an abundance in the yard. Now I think of all that good food I’ve put into the compost over the years, such a waste, such a waste…
    Although what about the lawn mower munched up doggy poos, that could be a problem.

  17. I let my lawn die during the summer-
    🙂

  18. Nothing better than a sexy manure girl

  19. You can’t be a circus strongman without a curly mustache and leopard print underwear.

  20. Couldn’t help wonder where the town of Gimcrack is???

    • We’ve only got 126 beds so we don’t qualify as a town 🙂

      Gimcrack Hospital is in Sydney, Australia

  21. i’ve drank awful wheatgrass. so i can’t criticize those who want to eat lawn clippings and sugar.

  22. He’s lucky he’s rich. A poor James Branson trying to get all of us to eat grass for breakfast? Dismissed as a quack.

    And I want to print out that gator sleigh and put it on my wall.

  23. If I’m short on food I’ll try the grass trick. I’m sure it is tasty.


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