the anti-vagina complex

In the Western Highlands of New Guinea many men believe that female sexuality is potent and dangerous. They think that prolonged contact with women can make their bones dissolve, and lead to debilitation and even death.

“As one might expect, the terror of women’s contamination focuses on the vagina. Vaginal discharges are so poisonous they can be used by witches to kill a man overnight, simply by depositing them near his clothing. Everything from the vagina is polluted, even nonsexual things like babies. Until a baby is purified, its father will not touch it, only poke it playfully with a small stick.

Any object that passes over or near the vagina can no longer be used safely by a man. If a woman’s genitals are physically higher than a man’s head, serious health risks may ensue. For instance if a woman steps over a sleeping man, he will sicken and his body will rot unless he is treated with an exorcism. Women therefore are not allowed to climb above men in trees or on ladders.

The woman’s vulva must never be above a man’s nose, lest her genitalia menaces him with lethal radiation. Some men will place spearmint leaves up their nostrils to avoid inhaling vaginal exhalations.

A woman who entices her husband into excessive sexual relations (more than a few times a year) is said to be purposefully driving him to an early death. “Coitus is contaminating, it can cause the stomach to distend and lose its taut masculine quality.”

one good memory

Milton Erickson was an American psychiatrist who specialised in hypnosis. Some of his methods were quite unorthodox as this story reveals…..

A depressed woman went to Erickson for help. She was ashamed and upset about being so ugly and unattractive. She had a small gap in her front teeth that she thought was a disfigurement and she despaired of ever marrying or having children. She was planning to suicide, but decided to give Erickson a crack at it first.

After taking a history, Erickson prescribed the following: She was to buy some new outfits and get a new hairstyle as well as a facial makeover. Finally, he told her she was to practice squirting water through the gap in her teeth until she could squirt it accurately at a distance of seven or eight feet.

During questioning, Erickson had deduced that she had an admirer at work that had triggered the onslaught on negative self-statements. She would often see him at the drinking fountain, and when she did, she’d run back to her desk and bury herself in her work. Erickson got her to agree to dress up in her new clothes, fix her hair and make up and go to work. When the young man would show up at the drinking fountain, she was to get a mouth full of water and squirt it at him right before she’d take one step toward him, then turn around and “run like hell.”

Olga found here

Initially she was reluctant but Erickson reminded her that she had come in contemplating suicide. As long as she was planning to die, she ought to die with at least one good memory. So she did it. And to her* amazement, the young man ran after her, caught her, spun her around and kissed her. She came out of the depression, formed new relationships, and ultimately got married.

* and to my amazement as well. Is this some secret you guys have been keeping from us for years? How many proposals could I expect to receive in a year if I practiced squirting water out of my mouth and running like hell after I doused the object of my affections?

perversion finishing school

Back in 1964 Candace Mossler was getting tired of her husband Jacques. An ex toothpaste model who once ran her own Finishing School for Southern Belles, she’d married the much older financier when she was 22.

Sometime in the intervening years she invited her sister’s son, Melvin to move in with them and their children. Melvin quickly replaced Jacques in Candace’s affections and before too long Jacques found himself living alone with his dog on Key Biscayne. In June he was found bludgeoned to death and with thirty nine stab wounds to his body. Foul play by Candace and Melvin was quickly suspected…..

Legendary Texas attorney Percy Foreman was imported to head the powerful defense team. He maintained that Jacques Mossier’s sexual appetites—”transvestitism, homosexuality, voyeurism and every conceivable type of perversion, masochism, sadism,”—had caused his own death; he was murdered, said Foreman, by a slighted homosexual lover.

In the end, it may have been Candy’s charm that carried the day more than Foreman’s defense. She made herself endlessly available to the press, always wearing a glamorous smile, and public opinion turned in her favor. She and Melvin Powers were both found not guilty of murder charges. No killer was ever found, nor even sought, because the police knew they had their perps and didn’t bother looking elsewhere, acquittal notwithstanding.

Five years after the trial, she married Barnett Garrison, a Houston electrician. He was 33 and she 52. They lived together briefly in the old Mossler mansion in Houston.

Thirteen months after the marriage, Garrison was crippled in a fall from the room of the house. The couple had been fighting that night and Garrison went out drinking alone. He returned late without keys and apparently tried to climb up to Candy’s third-floor bedroom. Candy divorced him.

Barnett Garrison was severely brain damaged and, after the death of his devoted protector and mother, he looked set to end his days in Sugar Land Oaks Guest Home, a facility not unlike the Gimcrack. And then he met care worker, 73 year old Niecee Wolcik.

They began to have conversations at her desk. Nearly everyone had learned of Barnett’s crush, if only from the way he ogled Niecee. Her feelings for him, however, were not widely known until the dance on Valentine’s Day, when Niecee slowly waltzed with Barnett to “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” the staff watching in awe.

Every Saturday, Niecee began meeting Barnett at Viking Archery but they didn’t spend much time at the range. Niecee would help him into her car, and then they would go parking at Richmond State Park.

Being a sensible 73-year-old woman, Niecee never let things get too out of hand. Before long, Niecee was telling Barnett that she was not a plaything and was not here to play games. It was either marriage or nothing.

Niecee quit her job at the rest home. She returned a few days later and signed the register “Niecee Garrison,” and took her man home.

Barnett’s family were shocked by this development and took steps to annul the marriage.

The court was swayed by Dr. Steiner, who said Barnett could never have understood the marriage ceremony. Niecee even heard that Barnett didn’t know what he was doing when he consummated their union. But she had been there: she knew that if there was one thing Barnett understood, it was that.

So things did not end well for the two lovers. Barnett returned to life at Sugar Land Oaks and Niecee  got a new job at another facility. I hope it was one where the band played “Let Me Call You Sweetheart”…..

t shirt friday 27.11.2009

syncopated eyeball is playing along….. anyone else?

Hmmm…. somehow I don’t think this counts but azahar is showing a sleeve

sledpress is in

and so is nicole and mudpuddle and malach

more marriage matters

Among some people of the Caucasus in Russia, there was a custom that a very small boy should marry an adult woman. The boy had to wait until he was mature to have any sexual relations with his ‘old’ wife. In order not to leave the newly wed wife without a lover, a clever arrangement was made.

Claudia Cardinal needing constant cooling down after her marriage

The boy’s father acted as husband to the wife. The problem of potential offspring from this relationship was solved too. All the children from the relationship belonged to the son. The father of the married boy was said to be merely the “seed raiser” for his son, only contributing to the building of his son’s family.

In Somalia, people believe that evil spirits may attack a bridal party so a false couple is substituted for the real bride and groom. The false couple are married in the house while the real couple stay in the nuptial chamber to deceive the evil spirits. The false couple may exchange their clothes and dress to impersonate the opposite sex. The girls dress up their partners, using padding to make the disguise as complete as possible.

Then, assuming all the airs of husbands, they flog their partners with horsewhips and order them about in the same way as they themselves have been treated by young men. These activities may last for a week. Those who impersonate the real couple to rescue them from the forces of evil are paid well for their service……

image found here

what star sign is your car?

Several years ago Psychology Today ran a “scamarama contest” to see if readers could come up with a creative pseudoscience when they weren’t hampered by little things like scruples. Here are some of the suggestions…

Phrenotherapy: Change the bumps on your head to improve your character. Experts would offer to ‘knock your noggin where it will do the most good’

Palmistherapy: Using laser surgery to lengthen the lifeline on the palm of your hand.

Upgrade Your Aura: A device that fits into your pocket or purse that magnifies your current aura to make a better impression on others.

Autozodiac: Create an astrological chart for your car so you’ll know which are the best/worst days  for a long trip or to have your oil changed.

Car Zodiac found here

Investment in Reincarnation: Leave $10,000 in your will to a professional medium who will contact you after your death and find out when you’re coming back and under what name. Upon your return you receive a cheque for your investment plus interest. The longer you are gone, the more you will receive!

It’s been a long time since I ran a competition here at the gimcrack, so perhaps it’s time for another one. Leave your own scamarama suggestions in the comments section and I’ll post out prizes to the two best ideas……

fruit, tree, stone…..

Different cultures view marriage in different ways. The Newar people of Nepal marry their young girls to bel-fruits.

A majority of Newars observe the symbolically arranged marriage of their daughters with a bel fruit before they ever marry a man. The bel fruit marriage is done when the girl is seven to nine years old, or before she attains puberty; and since it is the general belief of Hindu and Buddhist Newar communities that a proper marriage with full rites can be held only once in a lifetime, her subsequent marriages, if any, are considered of only secondary importance.

image found here

Punjabi men can have one, two or four wives, but not three. To get around this prohibition, they sometimes would go through a third marriage ceremony with a tree. In Madras, if a younger son wishes to marry but his older sibling has not yet decided upon a wife, the elder son can wed a tree. After the ceremony, a priest cuts the tree down and pronounces it dead. The family all mourn the man’s deceased wife, and then the younger son is free to marry.

image of 1960s icon Penelope Tree found here

The daughter of a courtesan is unable to marry but she may get herself a ritual husband by marrying a house plant which she then cares for in a special way.

image of Robert Plant found here

Two trees may also marry each other. This type of wedding is arranged by a childless couple who are trying to conceive. The trees, usually a mango and a fig are planted close together so their stems entwine. If one of them dies it is considered a very bad omen for the woman.

In Siberia a man sometimes married a stone. There would be no wedding ceremony, the man simply chose an attractive stone, put clothes on it and placed it in his bed. There was even some sexual connotation, since the man would treat the stone as a human, caressing it as if it were a real woman.

image of Sharon Stone found here

Marriages to objects were also known of in Mongolia. A father might sometimes offer his daughter to a guest for the night as a sexual favour. The guest would be asked to leave behind his belt as a token. If a pregnancy resulted from this hospitality, the girl was simply married the belt. On the other hand, if a girl became pregnant to a stranger outside this sexual hospitality arrangement, she would be married to a prayer rug instead.

the domovoy diet

Slavic Maiden

The Slavs believe in their own special household ghost called a Domovoy.

A Domovoy is seen neither as good or bad and can be mischievous or benevolent, depending upon its mood and the time of the year. The creature is described as short, all covered with hair, even on the palms of his hands and soles of his feet. If he draggd his hand across your face while you slept, a bristly and cold touch foretold of impending woes ahead. A warm and fuzzy touch meant good fortune would befall.

These spirits are thought to be ancestors of your paternal line. The Domovoy does not like to be seen so he is invisible. Reportedly, when you do sight a Domovoy, it takes on the form of an ancestor or the past owner of your home. Sometimes, when the male of the household is away, a Domovoy can be seen in his form plowing the fields at night.

(Peter Finch’s Domovoy prepares to plough the fields)

Domovoys are to be treated with great respect. He is considered (and considers himself) the master of the house. When a family moves from one house to another, they invite their Domovoy to go with them. Your neighbors Domovoy is seen as malevolent but your household’s Domovoy protects you from him. It is believed that your neighbor’s Domovoy will try to steal your oats and livestock and yours will try to steal your neighbor’s (a convenient excuse as to why you had your neighbor’s oats).

(Livestock reputedly stolen by Domovoy)

Calling to your family’s Domovoy to enter into your home is not only a way to reconnect with your ancestors, but will also ensure you keep your house tidier. Just remember to be respectful, leave bread, cookies or porridge by the stove and do not block his path.

(Only James Bond dares to break the Domovoy’s rules)

do magic and die

In the early part of the 20th century, Australians were enamoured with magicians. Many of the well known prestidigitators of the time visited our shores and charmed their audiences.

Chung Ling Soo dressed in long robes and wore his hair in a pigtail. His act was one of illusion and magic, and his stage image was one of oriental stoicism. Chung Ling Soo rarely spoke on stage. His performances were occasionally punctuated by the words, “much glad’ in broken English. Privately, his command of English was quite colourful, especially when something went wrong with the stage mechanics

Chung Ling Soo took coffee beans, rice and sawdust, mixed them together and produced cups of coffee. They were served to audience members. Flowers were produced from pots of sawdust, and dolls, flowers and brightly coloured paper magically appeared from an empty cauldron.

The illusionist used a gigantic witch’s cauldron. Into it, he threw dead chickens, rabbits, geese and pigeons. Then a fire appeared burning under the pot. The cauldron steamed in the heat and its contents boiled. Suddenly from the midst of the inferno, in the heart of the steam, chickens, rabbits, geese and pigeons, leapt from the pot.

Chung maintained that his father was a descendant of the Campbell and Robertson clans. In an interview, he added that his father was a Scottish engineer who had married a Cantonese woman. According to the conjurer his father died when he was seven and his mother when he was twelve. As an orphan he was apprenticed to a Chinese magician named Arr Hee.

Chung Ling Soo was in fact an American born William Ellsworth Robinson in New York on April 2nd 1861. His parents were Scottish. In 1900 he was offered a European engagement if he could imitate a real Chinese magician called Ching Ling Foo. Robinson shaved his head and his moustache, put on a false pigtail and on May 17 that year appeared as Chung Ling Soo. His wife, the very Anglo Olive Path became his assistant and was the slim lady who appeared in the glass cage and boiling cauldron.

On March 23rd 1918 he was performing in front of the usual packed house when a tragic accident ended his career.

image found at State Library of Victoria

He was performing the bullet catching feat. Two assistants would load marked bullets into a gun. They would fire the gun at the unprotected magician. He would then catch the bullets in his teeth and they would rattle into a plate that he held in his hands. When inspected, the bullets had marks identical to those that were placed in the muzzle of the revolver.

Chung Ling Soo had performed this trick routinely for many years. That night something went wrong. The assistants fired as usual, but the magician fell to the ground. With a gasp he exclaimed, “My God, I’ve been shot, lower the curtain.”

One of the pistols had malfunctioned and a bullet had pierced his right lung. He died in London the following day.

You can also read an interesting article here which includes a photo of Ben Robinson’s mouth after his version of the bullet catching trick went wrong

corset friday 20.11.2009

All photos were taken by my friend (formerly known as) spinachpie. Now she’s started her own photoblog under the name of Syncopated Eyeball. Check it out here

healingmagichands has joined in today too!