toys of terror

We’ve talked about old anti-masturbation devices before at the gimcrack. Several of them are mentioned in this article which also features a couple that are new to nursemyra such as the inventions of Frank Orth and Joseph Lee

Frank Orth came up with this device, as bulky as a major kitchen appliance, which spoke directly to prevalent belief that as the body heated up under covers it became more sexually responsive.

The motor drove a fan that forced cooling air down a tube into rubber drawers fitted with circulation bladders.”

Orth also held a patent on a water-based cooling system. “Each of these thermal harness systems was installed permanently in the bedroom, like a piece of furniture. At night, the user would fit his body into the device and then, along with the trailing straps, wires and flexible pipes, slide under the covers.”

Mr. Joseph Lee engineered this beauty, a harness you wore to bed that sensed an erection, which activated an electrical circuit that could be hooked up to your choice of a phonograph, gramophone or graphophone and thus awaken the endangered sleeper with music or an inspirational talk.

Harnessing your family jewels to a gramophone might sound like a strange idea but at least it wouldn’t be as painful as some of the anti-rape devices mentioned in this article.  Ever mindful of my readers delicate sensibilities, I will only include a quote about the least terrifying.

The tamest, created by Joel D Rumph and Lynda K Warren, would inject the penis with a fast-working sedative. What you then do with the comatose attacker lying on top of you, the patent does not say. Indeed, all the designs display very basic problems, explaining why none seems to have been produced.

James H Bowen of Philadelphia came up with this bright idea in 1889

In the aesthetic design of his device, he appears to have drawn inspiration from the restraining mechanisms of horse bridles. A little metal hat was placed over the head of the penis, with small chains on either side dropping down to the end of spring-loaded clips. The clips were then securely clasped to tufts of pubic hair at the base of the penis.

When a nocturnal erection began, and the penis enlarged beyond the length of the chains, the pubic hair was pulled, causing the kind of pain guaranteed to wake the naughty dreaming sleeper who was, according to Bowen, “thereby enabled to prevent or check the discharge.”


Published in: on December 7, 2009 at 6:38 am  Comments (41)  
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  1. Oh shit, I’m going to have to make a tiny little saddle now, that would be hilarious.

    • Post pictures if you do 😉

      • Ride ’em cowboy, yeeeHa!

  2. Hey, I need my night-time erections, when I roll over in my sleep I don’t fall out of bed !!!
    LOL

  3. It would demoralizing to any male who never experience his pubes being pulled 😦

  4. For the love of god hen… I think you’ve found a cure for my morning wood!

    • Uh oh Siobhan is gonna kill me

  5. But if masturbation wasn’t so frowned upon, there would be a lot less need for anti-rape devises I would think. There would definitely have been less wars, duels, and other testosterone filled mayhem.

  6. There are way too many ‘ouches’ in this post ….. my eyes are watering …….

    • Close ’em quick daddyp!

  7. I’m in pain and I don’t even have a penis.

    Giant Crickets Invade Norway

  8. With regards to the device that plays a song upon detection of an erection (!) perhaps a helpful list of suitable tunes:

    Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye
    Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Wham
    Only When I Sleep – The Corrs

    oh, the possibilities, the possibilities.

    • oh, don’t forget: Should i stay or should i go – The Clash

      • … voice recordings of scolding mother-in-law.

    • Perhaps Highway to Hell by AC/DC would do a better job of halting matters… if one happens to believe that kind of thing.

  9. I can always train myself to think of a naked guy. That would halt the festivities in their tracks.

    I actually remember the very first time I ever masturbated. Do you? (The first time YOU masturbated, that is. Not me.)

    • Yes of course, but it won’t be divulged here 🙂

  10. Heh – I happen to know that the more modern devices are more practical, although still a tad bizarre when you think about it. Unless you’re into that kind of thing.

    Uh… which I am.

  11. Inspirational stuff! I was able to make a tiny metal hat for the head of my penis, which I then used as the tone arm on my turntable! The standing gets a bit old but I do love the warmer sound of vinyl and, I must say, “Dark Side of the Moon” has never sounded so good.

    John Sunnenhand

  12. Some excellent suggestions herein Nurse. Creative minds were at work back in the late 80s.

  13. Hell, if music played every time I got wood I’d be my own radio station. I could sell commercial time on my erections. “This hour’s boner is sponsored by Toyota…”

  14. Problem is the water in the device so near to me at night would make me have to get up and pee more often.

    • I don’t think that’s the only problem bearman 😉

  15. IDK, is it just me, or would those contraption do the exact opposite?

  16. my girlfriend use to say while I was asleep she would give me a ball tap or slap to instantly deflate my erection if it was rubbing into her??! Ouch I guess I don’t know but it never woke me up? When she told me I was like, “slap!!??” she started laughin and said yea. women….

  17. I, thankfully, have a penisless body. But even so, these drawings and text make me shiver and shrink.

    • I too have a penisless body but I don’t know if I’m all that thankful for it. Sometimes I think it would be fun to have an extra appendage

      • The beginner’s model at Maxxx Black is quite affordable!

      • yea I was just thinking the other day how nice it is that the most sensitive/ pleasurable part of my body is so out there and like away from my body and is like vulneraball. But this does have its drawbaks… nobody likes a droopy testicle

  18. >>your choice of a phonograph, gramophone or graphophone and thus awaken the endangered sleeper with music or an inspirational talk.

    Oh how I want a copy of one of these recordings…

    • I believe Peter Popoff is selling them…..

  19. All that to prevent masturbation? When that is the only exercise many men get?

  20. Well, who would have thought that anyone hooked up to such devices would have any problem with a sleeping erection? I mean, would they actually ever be able to get to sleep? Especially the water cooled device? Am I the only person who sees a contradiction between the idea of being hooked up to that and actually falling asleep?

    I have an antirape device. It is an 11 inch long meat cleaver.

  21. good grief

    I prefer more traditional methods for erection reduction, thank you kindly….

  22. Er, excuse me but a hypodermic full of sedative delivered straight to my pee-pee doesn’t sound very tame to me.
    What sort of nurse are you anyway…

    • oh it’s a lot tamer than the other suggestions on that site Mr Fingers

  23. i have always thought “bulky as a major kitchen appliance” was rather sexy. thank you nurse myra for confirming my fantasies.

  24. When a nocturnal erection began, and the penis enlarged beyond the length of the chains, the pubic hair was pulled, causing the kind of pain guaranteed to wake the naughty dreaming sleeper

    hmmm, but what if the erectee LIKES pain? wouldn’t that just enhance the experience? just asking…

  25. Yes all very bad ideas.


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