caring for your neovagina***

The decision to undergo sex reassignment surgery is not one to be taken lightly. This fascinating site tells you everything you need to know as well as dispensing dating advice for the postoperative new woman

Sydney’s Carlotta photographed by Rennie Ellis

“You must be sure to regularly dilate to at least 35mm in width in order to take in an average-sized male, and 38mm is even better. Remember, your vagina is not as elastic in diameter as a GG’s vagina. It will stretch out only to the maximum size you’ve dilated to, and will then go no further. If you are in doubt about someone’s size, be sure to carefully “feel the width” of your date before indicating a desire for intercourse. That way you can see if he’s likely to fit into you. If he’s definitely too wide, you can decide that you are “too tired” that night. Then find someone else to date.”

It’s interesting to note that many men who have undergone sex reassignment surgery are still capable of orgasm when they have become women.

Most postop women having healthy libidos begin to experience their first postop arousals within a month or two after surgery. After a initial period of low sensations and even numbness, they then experience “turning on” due to engorgement of remaining internal erectile tissue (corpora and spongiosum) that was left during SRS. The arousals produce a feeling of “erection”, but one that is different than for guys, since it is inside their bodies.

image of April Ashley found here

If done properly, the post-operative patient can have powerful feelings of sexual arousal (erection of the corpora stumps remaining inside her body) and can easily be orgasmic (the prostate is left intact, and can spasm during orgasm just as before SRS – while the nerve tissues throughout the corpora, the clitoris and the vulva spasm, throb and release at the same time, just as in any other woman).

You can read the story of beautiful French transsexual Bambi here

image found here

Her friend Coccinelle, who started out as a female impersonator before making the transition into a fully fledged woman, attracted world wide media attention by marrying not only once but three times.

read her story here

***I’m often asked where I find the stuff I post here. I found the original site (linked in the first paragraph) by googling “Did Aristotle Onassis sponsor sex change surgery?”

And, yes, he did

Published in: on December 30, 2009 at 7:22 am  Comments (58)  
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  1. There’s a word for women who “feel the width” of their date then decide against having sex – cock-tease 😆

    • No wonder I have only gotten to third base and never rounded home.

  2. …… and why exactly were you googling “Did Aristotle Onassis sponsor sex change surgery?” ……. please don’t tell me Jackie was really a Jack!!!!!

    • It was in one of the books I read this month. I read so many I can’t remember which one, maybe it was Final Exits.

      • You have time to read!!!! ….. crikey

    • That was my immediate response to this post too: ” What on earth brought that question to mind?” Now I know! I must not be reading the right books.

    • I had found this tidbit on the web and I am curious as to who they were as which
      Bond girl had s.r. surgery as well,

  3. Thankyou nursemyra, there’s one more curiosity that has been cleared up.

    For some reason I keep having visions of post operative new women with tape measures.

    • From now on I’ll be regarding any ‘woman’ that approaches me with a tape measure with a great deal of suspicion !!!

      • ya see? it’s not only the brilliant posting here but also the hysterical comments like this! thanks for another great post NM and another good laugh duncan!

  4. knew a 55 year old engineer at work who took his ‘early retirement separation incentive’ pay to have sexual reassignment surgery. gave new meaning to ‘separation pay’.

    i always thought that he must feel pretty strongly about it, and was supportive when pre-op ‘robert’ needed to use the ladies room as part of the process… not all the ladies felt the same way, unfortunately.

    • Good for you daisyfae, lead by example

    • Right on Daisyfae. Personally, I have never understood why the angst about men in ladies rooms. After all, they are fully equipped with stalls with doors, except in the more disgusting bars. Now I can understand why men might have angst about women in their restrooms, since they are pretty much lined up against the wall with no privacy barriers.

      And what is that about anyway? Why don’t men need privacy to pee? After all, they are exposing their penises to do so, aren’t they? Are men’s penises so much less “sexual” than women’s bums? Oh, this could lead to an entire post.

  5. I’m wondering the same thing as Daddy Papersurfer? regarding Onassis..

  6. When you get a sex change, do all the new parts installed come with a warranty? If my new car can get 5-year or 60,000 mile bumper-to-bumper coverage, shouldn’t my new vagina get that too?

  7. OK I’m officially jealous: a clitoris AND a prostrate, plus leftover internal erogenous stumps!? Is it possible to get SRS to become a hermaphrodite?

    • No no. I don’t believe they get an actual clitorus. They just have the left over spongy tissue that gives them an erection. Not the same thing, really. The nerves down there are very different.

  8. I know that you’re being somewhat humorous, but TS changes are serious to those who have undergone a dozen surgeries, and years of counseling.

    I have a few internet friends who are anywhere from pre to full op TGs, and most of them are pretty normal (albeit, IMO, prone to depression, but that’s a small statistical sample). I certainly don’t envy anyone who manages to put themselves through everything that they need to. Most of them have lost jobs, friends, and families. Worse, many of them wait until their 40s (presumably when they can better afford it), at which point their facial and bodily bone structure are more masculine, and less likely to become Fem passable through hormone therapy.

    That said, I can’t believe you didn’t mention another hot babe: Tula Cossey, celebrated for having a part in a James Bond movie in the early 80s. She went on to lobby the Brit government for changes with regard to the legal status of transexuals.

    • You are right Tom to point out the difficulties faced by TGs.

      I have a friend who is the mother of a TG son. She has been forced to leave her island home – rejected by friends, neighbours, and (most painful of all) her own family – daughter and all.

      Standing by her son has cost her dear and she has been forced to flee with him to a remote part of the Highlands where no one (as yet) knows the secret they harbour.

      A few months ago I reprinted in the Madhatters an appeal she made for someone to help her. The letter doesn’t tell half of the shit she and her son have had to put up with but her experience is probably not dissimilar to what others TGs or parents of TGs have gone through.

      Her cry for help can be read here on her own blog –

      • I remember that post Duncan, I commented at the time. Maybe the link to Lyn Conway’s site would be helpful to your friend’s son?

    • Well I wasn’t really being humourous with this one. Quite a few of my posts are aimed at opening people’s eyes to things that they may have misconceptions about.

      I have a post op friend who I emailed the link to, she replied saying she wished she’d had access to it years ago when she was having her surgeries. I didn’t mention Tula and the many others because it would have made the post too long. But thanks for your comments Tom

  9. I have a bunch of pre op and post op friends, I will send them here for sure

  10. “Did Aristotle Onassis sponsor sex change surgery?”

    Why in God’s name did you google that????!!

    • See reply above Saby xx

  11. I would never make a good serial killer. Everytime you start talking about internal organs I get all oogie.

  12. I worked with a guy who became transgender. I was surprised when I found out – I had no idea that he felt unhappy as a guy. My first thought was, what about your wife? He said it was the hardest thing they had ever gone through, but fortunately his wife was bisexual to begin with, so they’ve stayed married and they’ve worked it out. Fascinating stuff.

    • I’m not surprised he hadn’t mentioned it beforehand. It’s great that you were both comfortable talking about it later though. It says a lot about the kind of man you are that he felt able to tell you about his relationship issues with his wife.

  13. The only thing that’s missing is this.
    Speaking as someone who couldn’t be girly for longer than five minutes if her life depended on it, I am in awe of men who figure out how to do some of this stuff (even if I can’t think why), whether they are day tripping or really physically making the crossing. No wonder there are classes for people of ANY sex who want to walk in heels.

    And did you see the amazing photo gallery here?
    FtM has got to be an even more challenging switch.

    • Yes I did. And there were a couple of men on that site that I found myself very attracted to…..

    • As far as I am concerned, any human who wants to walk in heels has been brainwashed by the fashion industry. I don’t care whether you are a man, a woman, a man changed to a woman, or a woman changed to a man, your hips and knees and lower back were not meant to operate with your foot held in a position where all the weight is resting on the ball of your foot.

      I had a friend who was going through gender change and he was all happy because finally he was going to be able to wear a bra “like a real woman” and my reaction was, “Why in God’s name would anyone want to wear a bra?” having recently declared my liberation from that horrible contraption.

      You all are aware that wearing brassieres, especially ones with underwires, on a regular basis, promotes breast cancer? Right? This is because the nature of the device effectively causes almost all lymphatic circulation to cease in the area, thereby allowing toxins and carcinogens to pool in the delicate tissue in the area.

      • I wear a bra to work but as soon as I’m home it’s off with the underwear.

        High heels I only wear for the occasional Friday corset shot, I’ve never learnt to walk properly in them and I value comfort too much to even try

  14. There’s something very funny to me about a very manly man who does not recognize a woman who was a previous man. It seems to take something out of them. Once took Husband to a trans. club in Savannah where Lady Chablis (from Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil) often performed. He was so not happy. I know this posting is slightly different in subject matter, but hey…close enough.

  15. Interesting post, Nursemyra! I was glad to read that post op women eventually have feelings of arousal, even “powerful” arousal’s. My heart goes out to these people who have to put up the fight with society to do what only feels normal to them. Societies can be so hate-full. Wish people didn’t feel threatened by others being different from them. Many of these women very attractive.

    • Yes, many are attractive, it must be much harder for those who who don’t look as feminine.

      Oddly enough I passed Carlotta in the street yesterday. She still has a traffic stopping figure though she must be in her sixties now.

  16. dang, man. how quickly things turned serious here. and that’s great. the topic clearly hits close to home for many of us. but NM’s post in no way makes light of the struggles of our friends. and none of us can deny that the process is fascinating on many levels, not least being aspects anatomical and sexual. having long run with the misplaced, misfit, and outcast i’m happy to state what all gimcrack fans (clearly an intelligent, sensitive lot) certainly know: gender, social, and sexual “deviants” have the most sophisticated sense of humor. it’s the rest of humanity that need an assist. but never mind all that, have you seen the camel toe cups? they go in an athletic supporter so you can sport the toe! and i’m with MGB. a clit AND a prostate. not fair!

  17. Jan Morris is also remarkable. She began life as John Morris and had a full sex change operation when it was still rare She is a travel writer and historian. She and her wife stayed together. I am the proud owner of a signed copy of the first volume of her autobiography ‘Conundrum’

  18. fascinating, my friend, Xena, tried a DIY orchidectomy in prison, almost bled to death, and was helicoptered to hospital where they saved his life

  19. Hey Shaun! The only reason I know what an orchidectomy is (well, other than reading a bit about Xena on your site) is because Quentin Crisp in The Naked Civil Servant refers to orchidaceous women in the metaphorical sense of their having balls.

    • You have a better memory than me Synchy. I’ve read that book twice and still managed to overlook that wonderful phrase!

  20. I want “neovagina” to be the very first word I say in 2010.

    Happy New Year, NM! Thank you for being the best History/Sex Ed Teacher I’ve ever had…:)

    • Damn! I think I said “look at the fireworks” at midnight last night. I wish I’d thought to say neovagina instead.

  21. Spoiler alert! The pretty dame in the movie “The Crying Game” actually turns out to be a dude…hope I didn’t ruin that for anyone…

  22. This post was very thought provoking and I really appreciated the link Duncan gave.

    The reactions I have been reading about in that blog makes me think about the song from “South Pacific”, which may possibly be one of the deepest “musical” songs I have ever read:’

    “You have to be taught to hate and fear, you have to be taught from year to year, it has to be drummed in your dear little ear, you have to be carefully taught. You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late, before you are six, or seven, or ate, to hate all the people your relatives hate, you’ve got to be carefully taught. You’ve got to be taught to be afraid, of people whose eyes are oddly made, or people whose skins are a different shade, you’ve got to be carefully taught.”

    Differences in sexuality and gender and race and culture and religion: All things you must be taught to be afraid of and hate. Little children, babies and toddlers, do not innately hate difference.

    Thank you Nursemyra, for this wonderful post and all the beautiful people who have commented on it. It gives me hope for the world, in a small way, to know that you are all out there.

    Blessed be, and my your New Year bring you love, health and prosperity.

    • Oh my god, can I not type or proofread? “Six, or seven, or eight.”

      MAY your New Year bring you love, health and prosperity.

      • I actually like the “six, seven or ate” version better 😉

      • Your comment, too, Healing Magic Hands, has made my heart sing. That song is just beautiful! My feeling is that the immense diversity within the human species is something rather wonderful!

  23. I mention the secret of Tiresias and wish you a happy New Yera.

  24. I knew it was only a matter of time before you posted something about the transgendered community. As usual, you took a serious issue and made it both entertaining and informative.

    Having been born and raised in NYC, I have a lot of friends within the LBGT community, but sadly none of them have a blog as interesting or as popular as yours.

    Oh by the way, I read every post, even if I don’t comment. 🙂

    Thomas 🙂

  25. i learned a lot from this thread. thank you, nursemyra and friends. in particular? Lynn Conway. i’m familiar with her work in electrical engineering, and considered her a pioneering woman in the field. i had NO idea she was transgendered – and that she was a Pioneer of the highest order! i just knew she provided the foundation for VLSI research in the 70’s-90’s.

    • How fantastic is that?

  26. Always an education, myra.

    Happy New Year.

  27. Well, my blog roll starts anew tomorrow. I’d be honored if you participate again in 2010. Leave a comment and you’re on the blog roll! Thanks for visiting and commenting in 2009.

  28. “New day, new blessings. Don’t let yesterday’s failures ruin the beauty of today. Blessings of God are new every morning. Today has its own promise of love, forgiveness, joy and success.Happy New Year!”

  29. Happy New Year to you Nursy … and wishing you a great 2010.

  30. I read a book last year called ‘Finding the Real Me – True Tales of Sex and Gender Diversity’ edited by Tracie O’Keefe and Katrina Fox. Personal accounts from more than 20 people describing their journeys, feelings and attitudes to sexuality &gender. It covers a lot of ground; includes and goes beyond MTF & FTM. Full of strength and courage.

  31. i’m afraid to get a tattoo because i *know* i’ll hate it some day and wish i hadn’t gotten it. or wish i had gotten something different. i could never change my sex for that reason alone. can you imagine six years later, wishing you became a smurf instead?

  32. “Did Aristotle Onassis sponsor sex change surgery?”

    It’s so obvious now that you mention it. I always misspelled it as “chang sugary” in the search engines and found nothing but images of Chinese confections shaped like genitalia.

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