toys of terror

We’ve talked about old anti-masturbation devices before at the gimcrack. Several of them are mentioned in this article which also features a couple that are new to nursemyra such as the inventions of Frank Orth and Joseph Lee

Frank Orth came up with this device, as bulky as a major kitchen appliance, which spoke directly to prevalent belief that as the body heated up under covers it became more sexually responsive.

The motor drove a fan that forced cooling air down a tube into rubber drawers fitted with circulation bladders.”

Orth also held a patent on a water-based cooling system. “Each of these thermal harness systems was installed permanently in the bedroom, like a piece of furniture. At night, the user would fit his body into the device and then, along with the trailing straps, wires and flexible pipes, slide under the covers.”

Mr. Joseph Lee engineered this beauty, a harness you wore to bed that sensed an erection, which activated an electrical circuit that could be hooked up to your choice of a phonograph, gramophone or graphophone and thus awaken the endangered sleeper with music or an inspirational talk.

Harnessing your family jewels to a gramophone might sound like a strange idea but at least it wouldn’t be as painful as some of the anti-rape devices mentioned in this article.  Ever mindful of my readers delicate sensibilities, I will only include a quote about the least terrifying.

The tamest, created by Joel D Rumph and Lynda K Warren, would inject the penis with a fast-working sedative. What you then do with the comatose attacker lying on top of you, the patent does not say. Indeed, all the designs display very basic problems, explaining why none seems to have been produced.

James H Bowen of Philadelphia came up with this bright idea in 1889

In the aesthetic design of his device, he appears to have drawn inspiration from the restraining mechanisms of horse bridles. A little metal hat was placed over the head of the penis, with small chains on either side dropping down to the end of spring-loaded clips. The clips were then securely clasped to tufts of pubic hair at the base of the penis.

When a nocturnal erection began, and the penis enlarged beyond the length of the chains, the pubic hair was pulled, causing the kind of pain guaranteed to wake the naughty dreaming sleeper who was, according to Bowen, “thereby enabled to prevent or check the discharge.”

Published in: on December 7, 2009 at 6:38 am  Comments (41)  
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make parties gay

Back in the 18th century, gentlemen advertised for love in the Maryland Gazette

“Wanted, a young woman who is between 15 and 22, who can take care of a single man’s linens and otherwise attend to him, in case of indisposition, to make tea and occasionally amuse him with a tete a tete. As a very genteel salary will be given, ’tis expected that the lady will be likely as to person, and cheerful in her temper; such a one will not be offended at this manner of address.

“The advertiser is serious, and in earnest. He hopes an idle curiosity will not lead anyone to be impertinent. A letter directed to D.M.L to be left at the printing office will be duly attended to. The utmost honour and secrecy may be depended upon.”

Here’s one from the Daily Advertiser

“Wanted by a young gentleman, a lady of 18 to 25 years old, well bred and with a fortune of not less than £5,000; sound in wind and limb, 5’4″ without shoes; not fat but not too thin;

sweet breath and good teeth; without conceit or affectation; not too chatty and not quarrelsome, but yet with character to pay back a score; generous; not over fashionable; the sort of person who can make parties gay; who can keep her husband’s secrets so he can open his heart to her without restraint, and can with a light heart reduce the budget if necessity requires.”

In 1795 a Bristol paper carried this poetic advertisement

A gentleman needs a companion to journey with him towards matrimony; his intention is to depart as swiftly as possible, to leave the main roads and highways and to stroll in the paths in the woods of love.

His fellow traveller must be healthy, not too fat because that would make the journey troublesome, and to while away the hours of the marriage state, the chattier the better.”

Published in: on December 5, 2009 at 7:23 am  Comments (36)  
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corset friday 4.12.2009

all photos were taken by syncopated eyeball

Published in: on December 4, 2009 at 5:02 am  Comments (64)  
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yellow rose of denver

Jennie Rogers ran a lavish, opulent bordello in Colorado for nearly 40 years.

“In 1884 she was arrested for vagrancy and for being a professional morphine taker. Probably Jennie had been too hoity toity  to some member of the police force and he had taken revenge.

There is another story, possibly apocryphal, that the town council ordered all the “soiled doves” to wear a yellow ribbon to indicate their occupation. Jennie and the other madams got together and ordered their girls to buy complete yellow outfits including yellow parasols. Plumed and beribboned they drove in buggies all over town until the town council retreated in dismay and rescinded the order.

parasol nipple tassles found here

Jennie’s friend Mattie Silks, was also a Colorado bordello owner whose name was often in the papers.

“At a party in 1877, Mattie and another madam, Kate Fulton, exchanged fisticuffs over Mattie’s lover, Cortez Thomson. Both Cortez and Kate’s beau, Sam Thatcher became embroiled in the fighting. Things escalated when someone shot at Cortez and Mattie called Kate out to a duel. Both women fired their pistols, missing each other, though Mattie manged to wound Cortez who was standing on the sidelines watching.

Laura Evans was yet another madam who led an interesting life

In 1896 she smuggled the payroll past striking miners to the ones who had stayed on the job. That same year she and one of her friends went tearing through town in a horse drawn sleigh, smashing into Leadville’s elaborate ice palace, destroying much of the $200,000 erection. ‘Miss Laura’ was known as a hoyden, specialising in pranks, wiles, peccadilloes and boisterous drunks. She died just before her 90th birthday, still rolling her own cigarettes and telling her profanity-laden stories of the good old days.”

Leadville Ice Palace found here

Published in: on December 3, 2009 at 6:42 am  Comments (40)  
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solder a crackt one

Dreams and Moles was published around 1750. It was particularly helpful for men who wanted to be sure they were marrying a virgin

“Take a piece of alabaster, burn it in the fire till it may be beat to powder, sift through a fine piece of muslin then put it in her drink when you are merry-making. If she drinks it and no visible alteration appear, she hath already parted with the toy you covet.

Anita Ekberg looks good in fine muslin

Women could also use it to ascertain if a bachelor was chaste

Dry thistle seeds and beat to a powder, take the pith that grows on the shell of an oyster, dry powder it too and mix together. Put this in your young man’s drink and if he be chaste he will oftener than usual be observed to make urine.

Dick Dene failed the urine test

Prospective brides who wanted to disguise the fact that they had already parted with the covetous toy, could restore it thus

To restore a lost maidenhead, or solder a crackt one, take myrtle berries and beat to a powder, add to the beaten flour of cotton, mix and drink a little of the powder in the morning, in a glass of wine, and you will find the effects wonderful”

Tallulah Bankhead recommends wine in the morning

Published in: on December 2, 2009 at 7:20 am  Comments (44)  
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