boss of the privy member

***In trying to present their bodies to best advantage, men have often padded their shoulders and exposed their legs. In the middle Ages, they wore what can best be described as a male mini-skirt. Knee high in 1340, it rose to thigh high by 1360 and then up to the hips. Chaucer’s Parson had this to say about them

“Alas! some of them show the very boss of the privy member and pushed out parts that look like the malady of hernia in the wrapping of their hose, and the buttocks of such persons look like the hind parts of an ape”

image found here

Some men thought masculinity should be demonstrated even further and padded out their chests and seats to produce an S shape and added a codpiece. One variety was stuffed upright to suggest virility and armourers turned out a metal kind with a useful hinge at the top.

The peascod belly of the 16th century was perhaps the most absurd, consisting of a doublet shaped and stuffed to give the impression of a small pointed paunch. False calves were in demand from the late 18th century and through much of the 19th too. An account given by Captain Coignet records how he felt when bedding a young lady for the first time

“As for me, I felt mighty awkward about undressing, and particularly about how I was to hide my wretched false calves and my three pairs of stockings. What a fix I was in.  If only I could put out the candle, all would be well. However, somehow I managed to hide them under the pillow; but it damped my spirits considerably. And the problem of how to get them on next morning tortured me.”

image found here

excerpt from History of Vanity by John Woodforde

Published in: on January 11, 2010 at 7:10 am  Comments (36)  
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36 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. In a country as hot as Australia, I often wonder why men don’t wear sarongs more often than they do. I rather like the look of men in robes or kilts. But codpieces just make me laugh!

    • Why else would a man wear a codpiece – if not to get the laughs?

      • Sync’Eye’: Great pics on your blog!

        NurseMyra: some days you’re just waiting…
        waiting, for something. it’s hard to know what you’re waiting for. Then, NurseMyra, The Educator, hands it to you. a question. Why else would a man wear a codpiece–if not to get the laughs? Thanks for asking it. I’ll go to bed, now, trying to answer that question; if only to take a stab in the dark…

      • Stab away Benny 😉

      • Thankyou Benny

  2. I understand both men and women’s need to change their bodies to be more “accepted” by society. I would never and have never done anything like this and I do not judge anybody that feels the need to do so. We humans do strange things.

    • We do indeed. Fashion is fun though, and I loved the story about the man who was too worried about his fake calves to enjoy his tryst with a young lady

      • I would rather enjoy my tryst any day than worry about fake calves.

  3. Quite frankly I find a sock stuffed down my undercrackers does the job ……. absorbent as well ….

    • oh daddyp, I’d prefer to look at your bunions than contemplate the image you’ve just conjured up….

  4. reminds me of Louis IX’s bout of dysentery – but is shiny ass was not bared for fashion….

    • Is that what killed him?

  5. if you look at american footballers, their ‘costume’ is the most extreme ‘macho’. gigantic padded shoulders, accentuating small waists, padded buttocks (for safety, of course), then bare calves… for me? it would work better if their helmets had spikes… and i might watch the games more often.

  6. Imagine waking up next to that ass every morning…

    • Imagine being that ass and having people making fun of it on the internet.

      • Imagine being the person had to “ink it” for the better part of a week.

      • Imagine how many bad bottoms I had to look at before I found one that was covered in ink

      • I’m sure some people would be more than happy to wake up next to that bottom.

  7. They still do the same crazy stuff (or stuffing) today, now it’s just usually done surgically. Or with pills. Or steroids. Or silicone…..You know what I mean!

  8. Sometimes I wear argyle socks. The ladies deserve such thrills.

    Leif DeLoosee

    • Please tell me you take them off in the bedroom though……

  9. What I’ve never understood is when in their lives people had time to put on (and take off) all this crap.

    • The tight lacing and crinoline days were the worst. Aristocratic French women with those towering hairdos would take three or four hours for their maids to get them ready. It was acceptable to receive visitors of both sexes during their toilette to help them pass the time too.

  10. My boss of the privy member sacked me years ago, and has been operating independently since.


  11. PS. Who’s the dingbat wearing shorts underneath a kilt?!

    • I dunno but it’s not Jimmy

  12. I’ve never had a problem with showing my legs, although padding my shoulders would be silly… I already have a 52″ chest. I’d look like three buses parked side-by-side.

    Under my kilt I continue the tradition of all true Scots.. I wear nothing but the odd plait to my pubic area. I cannae wear tight briefs, thongs, or those awfie boxers with the tight crotch.

    A man has to breathe.. afterall.. you woudnae want my gentleman vegetable to become deformed now… would you?

  13. Aw… a plait. How cute. And I’m mightily relieved you don’t hold truck with a thong Jimmy

  14. Tag Larkin would wear a codpiece… and nothing else.

    • I’m so annoyed codpieces aren’t in fashion anymore.

  15. Leave the dressing up and exposing bits of flesh to us females…we can handle it better! 😉

  16. My mom has reached the point in her life where she can enthusiastically embarrass her not so liberated friends when they go to the Renaissance Faires. She flirts shamelessly and ogles all the men in codpieces. She laughs at the ones in just tights without codpieces though. 🙂

  17. False calves – how wonderful. And think about having to get dressed in front of the lady in the morning!

  18. Um, if you could maybe not post pictures of boys with nicer legs than me, that’d be great. I mean, I know those boys exist, but out of sight, out of mind, pass the cookie dough…

  19. Seriously? False Calves?

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