grin and bear it

Teeth Shoes found here

When was the last time you applied the principles of dynamic resistance to your facial muscles?

Independent studies show that using Facial Flex for two minutes twice daily for 60 days can noticeably improve skin circulation and muscle tone.

The lightweight, crescent-shaped facial exercise device is placed in the corners of the mouth, where it maintains a constant outward resistance. To use Facial-Flex, compress and release repetitively against the resistance of the dental elastic. This easy-to learn procedure will yield results in no time!

Hitler’s teeth found here

If you’re more concerned with lazy teeth not getting enough exercise you could try Charles Purdy’s device.

As a new article of manufacture, a device for exercising the teeth, comprising a plate shaped to conform to the contour of the mouth and having on each side comparatively deep depressions to receive the teeth, said depressions corresponding in number to the teeth of the user so that each tooth will be seated in a depression, the plate being provided with a member projecting from its front portion whereby when traction is exerted upon said member, each individual tooth will be exercised.

Perhaps it’s too late and your teeth have already fallen out. Don’t throw them away, make them into jewellery instead

Because if all else fails, Dr. McCollum can always measure you up for a new set of choppers in no time at all

Published in: on February 16, 2010 at 7:50 am  Comments (48)  
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48 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Are those knuckle-dusters? They would pack a punch – and a bite!

  2. I think I had a Gnathograph (this word doesn’t even look right) used on me when I was a kid. Dentistry in the north of England in the 70s was pretty lo-tech.

    • I Can ID with that NickQ

  3. I’m hoping that the gnathogragh doesn’t give me nightmares. It looks right out of one of the Saw movies.

    • Isn’t it creepy?

  4. Teeth are deadly even after they have been spat from a mouth. I once spent 4 weeks with my hand ballooned with infection after having a pair of front teeth embedded in my knuckles.

    Nice shoes by the way, but possibly awkward to find a purse or a bag to match?

    • well, there’s always the ring….

  5. I’m not known for being fussy but it appears to me that, if you are going to make your teeth into jewelry, you should whiten them first.

    Ring Lardner-Offer

  6. thank the gods you found hitler’s teeth, i’ve been looking everywhere for them!

  7. p.s. have you seen United Breaks Hitler’s Guitar? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEqvCktdSBM

    • Acapella is for pussies… hahahahaha

  8. You know that is a brilliant idea!!! Setting my teeth into jewellery…and god knows i could use a good knuckle duster right about now….too many annoying creatures around!

  9. My mum had saved three baby teeth belongng to my sister and me so following the example of a beautiful and elegant (don’t go there, Nurse Myra!) Spanish woman I had chanced to meet and make enquiries of, I had the three wee teeth set in gold like little charms, one each for my mum, my sister and myself.

    • I’ve still got Robbie’s baby teeth. Maybe you should introduce me to your beautiful and elegant friend

      • It was many years ago, but I had it done in a jewellers in the Imperial Arcade in the city.

      • The Spanish woman had a diamond or two on her little gold cuffed tooth on a gold chain around her neck. Immaculately shaped and bright red painted finger nails of her own. Simple dark hair pulled back from her forehead and grace enough to answer my queries as to who, why, and where regarding wee teeth and jewellers.

  10. nurth, wiwou preath cuth thith theak preath?

    yeah, no, you probably get that a lot. role play can be tedious.

    • Not with the right Phil 😉

  11. Wasn’t there a very old joke about a conversation between a Dentist and a Gynaecologist? Hmmm….

  12. Y’know, ma’am, getting kicked in the teeth with those shoes would be… recursive. At the very least.

  13. Shifting teeth, wobbly teeth, teeth falling out – the stuff of nightmares!
    (mine, anyway…)

    • Oh mine too Beth! I have three recurring nightmares and teeth falling out is one of them

  14. The Gnathograph reminds me of the scene in A Clockwork Orange when our poor Alex has his eyelids forcefully held open.

    You could always compliment the teeth jewelry with a matching set of the oddly popular glass eye jewelry.

    • Um, I used to have a glass eye in a ring. Now I just have a doll’s eye in a ring.

    • Hang on! ‘Our poor Alex’?!

  15. No word of a lie, NM, I was going to use that exact photo (Facial Flex) for one of my posts!

    Great minds…

    • I hope you still use it B, your captions are hilarious

  16. And what does dynamic resistance applied to the facial muscles do for oral sex?

    You really do have a one-track mind nurse.

  17. i have many of the baby teeth from my children. i joked that i’d make them into a necklace… hmmm…. that would certainly be a way to freak them out!

  18. OMG! I have the Facial Flex buried somewhere in the back of my vanity! One of those late night embarrassing purchases! 😉

    • you should do a product review Jill

  19. OW!

  20. Don’t talk to me about teeth!!!! – the troubles I’m having ….. *knash* [if only!!!!]

  21. As you know I just luuurvve shoes but draw the line at wearing someone elses teeth around my feet !!

  22. SICK!!! I hope this doesn’t provide me with an arsenal of new bad dreams…I’m always having dreams about my teeth falling out. Wonder what that means? At least I have new ideas now: authentic, one of a kind jewelry.

  23. Dr. McCollum appears to have a lot of issues… issues that involve a dungeon of horror in his basement.

  24. The teeth shoes…my only comment would be horribly non-PC and probably offensive. Suffice to say they give me the willies.

  25. I’ve had teeth falling out dreams, too. Plop plop plop one after another. I believe it’s symbolic of feeling disempowered in some way. Ugh.

  26. I would have thought whistling would have been ample exercise.

    I don’t know if I’d want a tooth ring but I did have a lapel pin years ago made from an artificial eye. It was quite nice.

    • ‘Quite nice’, Mr Mills? Quite enviable, I’d say.

  27. Can I get some shoes made of Hitler’s Teeth?

  28. I need to see an orthodontist.

  29. shoes made of teeth? no thank you.
    i do have a crown in my mouth though.
    i exercise my teeth by chewing chocolate.
    and the best facial exercise is to *smile*

  30. Sorry Nursie! I’m so verbacious today, it’s all this talk of teeth and eyeballs.

  31. Donkey’s teeth are perfectly yellow

  32. upon intense contemplation, i don’t think i will exercise my teeth as they are big enuff as it is.

  33. Dear NurseMyra,
    You never fail to amaze me with what you find to post about… love your site

    Bruce

  34. great, like the world needs jewelry made of my teeth. Ugh.


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