Piano-playing, Harvard-educated Putzi Hanfstaengl was Hitler’s foreign press secretary.

image of Putzi and British PM found here

Putzi excitedly told Adolf about the hypnotic effect of college cheering sections at U.S. football games and, at the piano, demonstrated the “buoyant beat” of U.S. brass bands. Recalls Putzi: “I had Hitler fairly shouting with enthusiasm. ‘That’s it, Hanfstaengl, that is what we need for the movement, marvelous,’ and he pranced up and down the room like a drum majorette.” The “Rah, rah, rah!” refrain of Harvardmen, by Putzi’s account, became the thunderous “Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!” of the Brownshirt demonstrations.

image found here

An accomplished pianist, art dealer and amateur historian, Hanfstaengl looked down his cultural nose at Hitler. Not only did the man resemble a suburban barber on his day off; he could not tell a Caravaggio from a Michelangelo. Worse, he seldom paid his debts, loved to stuff himself with pastry and whipped cream, sat delightedly through three showings of King Kong. Hitler, says Putzi contemptuously, was a Muttersöhnchen (mamma’s boy).

Caravaggio or Michelangelo? (rhetorical question)

“I felt Hitler was man who was neither fish nor fowl, neither fully homosexual nor fully heterosexual,” he explained. “You can drink very weak tea, or very thin absinthe and you can suffer from very diluted sex inversion.”

Putzi was one of the many who believed that Hitler suffered from syphilis.  At the time of his supposed infection it was still thought that the pox could only enter through a flaccid penis, so men who practiced coitus interruptus would achieve some measure of safety.

One of the “cures” used on Hitler by his personal physician, syphologist Dr Theo Morrell, was the application of leeches to his head to alleviate buzzing in his ears.

Emo Hitler found here

He also gave him Homoseran, derived from human placenta and capsules of Mutaflor which contained bacteria cultured from the faeces of a vigourous Bulgarian peasant, after which, for a time, he felt better.”

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42 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. LOL!!!!! Oh Hitler is really rocking the emo look! Hahahahahaha

    • He does it well doesn’t he?

  2. Hmmm… a case of “you are what you eat”?

    • I doubt I’ll ever be a vigourous Bulgarian peasant.

      • Vigourous Bulgarian peasant… What? I’m just having trouble picturing what that chap would look like.

  3. Being a spin doctor for Adolf must have been quite tricky …… what with that moustache an’ all … not a good look ……

    • Imagine how much easier his life would have been if only he’d grown a goatee 😉

  4. Putzi and I would get on very well. We both like cheerleaders.

  5. So much for a Harvard education.
    Rah, rah, rah…

  6. Leave it to those wild, decadent, U.S. buoyant beats to drive a man to commit mass murder on an unprecedented scale. Which head were the leeches applied to, do you suppose?

  7. A syphologist? That’s a trip! Never knew of such a thing. I wish someone applied leaches to Hitler’s entire being long enough to stop him before he got started.

    • Most early syphologists were Jewish as they were not allowed to study the ‘higher’ branches of medicine. Hitler was lucky to find one who was a gentile.

  8. Yet another reason to hate college football, other than the fact that it uses a complicated computer program to pick its championship game instead of a playoff system like every other sport.

    • No one knows how college baseball championship is decided b/c no one cares to watch.

  9. Putzi is an oblique hero of mine. He was no better than he was, that is to say he enjoyed the ride till it got scary, but he had the balls to bail out and run for Switzerland in an adventure that was as good as a James Bond flick, lived in a safe house south of here in Virginia for the rest of the war feeding info to the Allies, and his son was on Eisenhower’s personal staff. Honest Injun.

    And anyone who can play Wagner on a spinet piano in the back of a flatbed truck being driven through Cambridge is a hell of an act to follow.

    • Yes the story about the supposed assassination attempt when he was sent to Spain is really interesting too

  10. Verrrrry interrrrestink!

  11. He nearly did come a cropper at Hitler’s hands and got out when he could,as Sledpress above states. On a related note did you know that both Goering’s and Hitler’s nephews served in the US forces in WWII. I’m not kidding!

    One of Goering’s brothers became a Mormon and emigrated to teh US. His son served in the USAAF

    Hitler’s half brother Alois married an Irish woman and lived in Liverpool. His son William Patrick served in the US Navy… interstingly the recruiting officer was called Hess!

    • I didn’t know about Goering but I’ve got a fascinating documentary about Hitler’s nephews. It claims that his three surviving nephews made a pact never to have children so the family line would stop with them.

      This is also an interesting link I discovered about Hitler’s nephew’s grandson (presuming it’s a nephew from his other half brother)

      • That is fascinating reading.

      • WOw thanls for the link. I didn’t know that!

        Alois’ wife Bridget swore that Adolf spent time before WWI in Liverpool (acording to accepted history he was sleeping rough in Vienna). Beryl Bainbridge wrote an amusing short novel called Young Hitler abouthis alleged time in Liverpool which is worth a read

  12. Freaky! I was just telling The King the other day that Caravaggio’s Judith holding the head of Holofernes was one of the most amazing paintings I have ever seen up close and personal.

    Is that you lurking outside the castle walls at night?

    • Yes. I’ve been meaning to confess it was I who stole the dictionary, but guilt that made me return The King’s little bag of goodies to the front doorstep.

  13. I am still laughing at emo Hitler, I am too afraid to repost it though.

  14. I didn’t know Richard Simmons could twirl a baton. Can’t say that I am surprised, though. He’d probably twirl mine if I let him get close.

  15. I had read that Hitler actually had parkinsons. Syphillis was curable back then so it would have been strange for him to carry on with it.

    I’m not shocked that he was a cultural retard. I am shocked that the Nazis took cues from our college cheerleading here in the states. What an awful man.

  16. I can picture him prancing up and down the room in full emo look chanting rah, rah, sieg heil, sieg heil. Neither fish nor fowl indeed….. bwahahahahahaha

  17. It occurred to that your heading should be “Where the nurses are “Pretty well pissed off and the Doctors also”. NSW health commission,no?If not, I’m sure the cap will fit.
    Good stuff Sister, your education of us mortals, and are we not.
    (I remember laying in a hospital bed feeling like I should be doing anything else, and a Sister came and said to me ‘are you awake’ and I said no, she said good, just checking’).

    • Hmmmm….. I wonder if that were me. Or perhaps my sister….

  18. I`m just amazed that it took three authors to write the complete book of baton twirling.

    • Perri Ardman just fixed the punctuation

  19. A female Bulgarian peasant I trust?

  20. A baton twirling amateur historian is always suspect – – –

  21. Wasn’t Putzu nearly thrown out of a plane for gossiping about Hitler’s sex life?

    • I think that’s the flight to Spain Sledpress and I talked about above 😉

  22. Interesting bits nursie. I would advise that if you are going to take Mutaflor, be sure that the Bulgarian peasant is 100% organic vegetarian.

  23. I’m stealing that Emo Hitler for!

  24. If Hitler had stuck with his clarinet, things would be different.

  25. Emo Hitler … it looks so natural lol …

  26. […] imaj: Graphicshunt via GimcrackHospital […]

  27. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Richard Alexander. Richard Alexander said: Muttersöhnchen « gimcrack hospital (PG): Not only did the man resemble a suburban barber on his day off; he could … […]

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