give me a break

The real nursemyra (as opposed to the I’m-not-a-nurse Myra) has had her fill of faeces and crazy patients. I’m taking a short vacation so here’s some homework for you to do in my absence. If you score over 12 points, don’t come crying to me. I’ve been telling you for years to eat more fibre

While you’re evacuating and weighing your floaters I’ll be soaking up some sun, sea and sand in Hardys Bay. There’ll be cooking, eating, mah jongg, crosswords, reading, jigsaws, kookaburras and pedicures. If you ask queenwilly nicely, she may take photos. I’m leaving my camera at home.

(My rosella Woody in busy mode on the left, nursemyra’s recently refreshed red streaks on the right)

Published in: on February 10, 2011 at 7:24 am  Comments (43)  
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43 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh poo you’re going away …… have a goodun’ xxx

    • Oh it’s only a mini vacation. Will be back before you know it

  2. funny enough, I’m taking a mini break, too

    see you when I see you and have some fun for me

  3. I’m sure that chart is a translation from German, land of the platter-crappers.

  4. I am at ten. I feel confident that I’m healthy.

  5. Crossword addict here. Like acrostics better. The puzzle answers make a quote and reveal author. Try them. Oh and remember palm leaf is ola and Jewish month adar or elul. HOMES means the 5 great Lakes in North America: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior.

  6. Bon voyage. Happy landings. Take me with you.

  7. Have a great time recharging your batteries and decompressing from the day-to-day stresses of living.

  8. So you’ll be on holiday while the rest of us will be at home going through the motions?

  9. Yikes! I’ve seen comedy charts for stuff like this but for REAL!! I don’t think I am going to be poking through my matter and dissecting it on a chart any time soon.

    Enjoy your yearly vacation!! Take a good rest and come back refreshed and full of ideas!!

  10. OK, now I see the red streaks.
    Threw me there for a minute.

  11. You know i could take that test but it would fluctuate with my drug and alchohol intake so i’m just gonna give myself a 7 and say i’m healthy. Enjoy the vacation.

  12. Have a wonderful time!
    I think I will pass on the quiz though….

  13. I think you’re more qualified than me, so I’m posting you a sample.

    Enjoy your vacation, it’ll be waiting for you on your return….

  14. Enjoy your break!

  15. Enjoy the sun, sea and sand. Hope there’s a lifesaver in a red speedo to look at too 🙂

    • Doesn’t Tony Abbott have a bach nearby?

  16. Have a lovely vacation!

  17. No wait, that is a lot more breast than streaked hair. You need to talk to your photographer.

    That quiz is bogus, there is no score for evacuating every time you eat.

    Have a fun time!

  18. Is it whale-watching season yet? Enjoy the Bay, delightful company and brain-teasing pastimes.

  19. At my recent medical I was told I am now of the age that I must provide a “stool sample”. Is there no dignity in getting older?

    Nine points.

  20. woo hoo! have a lovely time – and enjoy the sunshine! we’re so cold here it hurts to breathe!

  21. I scored 103, i guess not even the doctor can help me know lol

  22. It would be a shit of a job trying to catch a wild poo and weigh it.

  23. Malach got a 9, he is healthy!

  24. Have fun without me!

    I’m going on a mini holiday myself so we’ll be in the same state of mind, if not the same state at least.

  25. Now that I am on a permanent holiday, I can relax with you (although the geography gets in the way). I cannot see those red streaks!
    Oh, and I scored a 10! That has to be good.

  26. I come back and you leave…

    Soak up some extra sun for my translucent skin, please!

  27. Have a good holiday babe. You must teach me how to play mah jong some time 🙂

  28. Have a great time! Sure sounds like you will.

  29. I just had a dog nearly die from a stomach infection compounded by the digestion of… oh who on earth knows what all that dog ate. Suffice it to say I’ve done enough poo gazing these past weeks to last me a lifetime, but that chart is absolutely priceless.

  30. I swear to god – while I was writing that he stole the toilet paper roll!

  31. That chart doesn’t mention anything about red streaks.

  32. Photos please 🙂

    • NM, can I oblige?

      • What did we take photos of? I’ll have to vet them first….

  33. Have nice time my friend 🙂

  34. Have a lovely holiday. You deserve a break from all your amazing work here.

    For subject matter, feces never fails. Seriously or comically. Shit is my favored medium.

    You’re so right about fiber. Very important.

  35. You must like Hardys Bay. Ahem. I sent you an email a week ago. Did you get it?

  36. Dr Oz had a session on faeces on TV a couple of weeks ago. It certainly had me drinking more water after seeing it!!

  37. I may pass on this test. Do enjoy your hols and we expect to see many inappropriate and appropriate pictures of jollification.

  38. I”M HEALTHY!

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