clutching at conspiratorial straws

Maureen Guinness was one of the three beautiful Guinness sisters who were heirs to the brewing company fortune.

Oonagh, Maureen and Aileen found here

Her every move was noted: when she stayed at Longleat for Henry Bath’s coming of age party in July 1926, it was worthy of remark that her current nickname was “Teapot”.

Teapot found here

The novelist Evelyn Waugh nicknamed Maureen “Mannerless”, probably after she boxed Randolph Churchill’s ears in public for not sending a letter of condolence on the death of her husband during the war. This was quite a change from the shy debutante who spent her coming-out season hiding in the lavatories of assorted stately homes. On one occasion, the plumber was called as the staff assumed the lady’s failure to emerge was on account of her being “compromised by the plumbing“.

Maureen Dufferin was remarkably attractive, animated, personable, and possessed of a forthright manner. She appeared to relish her part in the BBC2 “expose” film, Guinnesty, in which she was interviewed at length and spoke with candour about her relations. She had a penis obsession and, ever the practical joker, attended parties with a fake one on her nose and a hidden fart device between her legs. Even in her nineties she was still throwing lively annual dinner parties for the Queen Mother at her home in Knightsbridge, at which the likes of Sir Alec Guinness and Barry Humphries could be found.

image found here

She was truly a survivor from another era. At a book launch in 1996, she wore an exaggerated black oilskin sou’wester, a 1940s-style fur coat with padded shoulders, platform shoes and pale blue and multicoloured rhinestone spectacles. In a conversation with Noel Coward’s biographer, she remarked, “What a pity they didn’t have sperm banks in those days” – the word “sperm” rang out loud and clear through the reverent hush of Hatchards: “we could do with more Noel Cowards.”

Connery & Coward found here

One of her nephews was her sister Oonagh’s son, Tara Browne, who died at the age of 21 when he crashed his Lotus Elan while speeding in London. Tara was the inspiration for The Beatles’ song A Day in the Life. This website seems to think there is a link between Tara Browne and the “Paul is Dead” rumours that have been circulating since 1969

image found here

One crackpot theory suggested that McCartney had been buried in secret and his features transposed onto a body double . . . Tara Browne. But by that time Browne had himself been killed in a real road accident. Suki Potier, his girlfriend, who was travelling in the passenger seat, escaped with bruises and shock.

Suki (third from left) found here

It was this tragedy that led her to Rolling Stones musician Brian Jones. Suki said, “He gave me a shoulder to cry on and he picked up the pieces and made me feel a woman again.”

Suki moved with 27-year-old Brian to a fifteenth century farmhouse, which was once the home of AA Milne, creator of the Winnie the Pooh stories. It was there in the swimming pool that Brian, who had by then left the Rolling Stones, drowned mysteriously.

Brian Jones found here

Now we have three different public figures (Paul McCartney, Tara Browne, and Brian Jones), who all knew each other, and who all either died, or were replaced, or both, within a pretty short span of time.

1. *Something* happened to McCartney earlier in 1966 — maybe even a car crash on 9/11. He wasn’t killed, but was disfigured in some way, requiring a replacement for the Beatles.

2. A few months later, Brian Jones is murdered in Tara Browne’s car, but it is set up to make it appear as if Tara Browne died in a car “accident”. Suki was NOT in the car during the crash, but she is placed at the scene AFTER the fact in order to identify the body to the Police, who only see a shattered young man with shaggy blond hair.

3. Tara Browne replaces Brian Jones, but in appearance only. Musically, he is replaced by the disfigured McCartney, who despite his physical appearance, is still a genius multi-instrumentalist, who, like Brian Jones, can play just about any instrument you hand to him.

4. Suki begins dating Brian Jones, and eventually moves in with him. This makes a lot of sense now, as Brian is really Tara, who she was seeing when he “died”.

5. At some point in 1969, it’s determined that there’s no longer a need for a Brian Jones character at all, so he is either literally murdered, or his death/murder is faked in order to make him disappear…..

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

38 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I saw Dame Edna live once…HIIIIIIIIIIlarious.

    • Did she toss you a gladioli?

  2. Good lord this reads like my friend X.Dell’s blog who loves conspiracies. LOL!

  3. Wow I’m sure the reptilian aliens are in on this conspiracy!

  4. I have a sudden craving for Bat.
    With a Guinness chaser.

  5. Preposterous. I’ll only believe it if I see it in Wikileaks. That Suki is bad news! But men are powerless when faced with that level of hotness.

  6. This sounds like a nefarious plot that not even Portuguese Intelligence would undertake.

    Also, I don’t know about Suki, but her friends in that picture sure know how to rock the boots.

  7. Oonagh…. great name. And a boy named Tara. Interesting.

  8. What a gigantic load of balderdash one can find if one looks! 😉
    And I’m with her on the Noel Coward observation.

  9. I’m also confused by the boy named Tara; if only he had lived, perhaps Brian Jones could have picked up his pieces and made him feel like woman.

    • haha… good one Mitzi

  10. Good grief, not very good luck to date old Suki then?

  11. god I love a good conspiracy theory. #justsaying

  12. Conspiracy theories, we gottem! Personally I ignore all such theories, I’m sure 99% of them are complete baloney. Maureen sounds like a wonderful character, she would certainly have sharpened up some of the deadly dull parties I’ve had to endure.

    And the next time I’m away from my desk in the office, I must remember that superb excuse. “Sorry about that, I was compromised by the plumbing.”

  13. Well, I have it on good authority that Brian Jones was actually surgically altered to become the racehorse Shergar, and enjoyed a glittering career until he was found in his loose box strumming a Fender Stratocaster. Then he had to go……
    The original operation was arranged by Lord Lucan who was paid to disappear, and he has spent the last few years cruising the Sargasso Sea with Amelia Earhart in a yacht crewed by the sailors from the Marie Celeste.

  14. My head is spinning!

    • and what else is new?

  15. Brian Jones! Hotstuff until he got totally drug fucked. Poor thing.

  16. “compromised by the plumbing“ – the story of my life ….. oh well


    • Err Spam Alert!

  18. Man i’m confused all i know is that Brian Jones was the fucking man.

  19. Ah yes, the “Paul is dead” hoax, with all the “clues” on the album covers.
    Yes, the creative conspiracies of the LSD days. I remember it well.
    Well, not as well as if I hadn’t taken all that LSD, but still.

  20. Get well soon, we miss you!


    The King

    • Slowly recovering…..

  21. A lot seems to have happened here in the past few days!

  22. Maureen was the kind of granny i wish to become!

  23. There was nothing mysterious about Brian’s death at all. He was just so confused that he didn’t know which way was up.

  24. If I had a lavatory as beautiful as that, I’d probably use the shower tray……

  25. Hey Brian Epstein died like 6 months later too . .

    • *head spins* did Brian know Suki?

  26. And where was Jim Morrison while all this was going on? Elvis? Jimmy Hoffa?

  27. Compromised by plumbing… such a lovely way to put it.

  28. Golly those are a lot of straws there nursemyra. Don’t be clutching them too tightly.

    And let’s not forget the Great Elvis-Hitler-JFK-UFO-World Bank conspiracy. Turns out Hitler was Jewish.

  29. I’m confused. Just popping out for a pint of Guiness

  30. Man, they had good drugs in the 60s. And some fine conspiracies too.

  31. I don’t even know why this is a relevant conspiracy. You tell those people that sold you the straws that you deserve your money back.

  32. Ask yourselves this, who resembles James Paul McCartney more, the pre-67′ illegitimate children, or the post-67 ones?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: