did primrose have dandruff?

About 21 years ago, Sydney was rocked by scandal when Qantas steward Lorenzo Montesini (a.k.a. Prince Giustiniani, Count of the Phanaar, Knight of St Sophia, Baron Alexandroff) jilted Miss Primrose (Pitty Pat) Dunlop on the eve of their society wedding in Venice.

Primrose found here

“The fiasco made world headlines. The front page of London’s Daily Mail carried the headline “Heiress jilted as bridegroom runs off with the best man“. And in Italy the Sunday paper Il Gazzettino also carried a front- page story headlined “VIP wedding goes up in smoke – bridegroom disappears with best man”.

Prince Lorenzo found here

Primrose later married a Polish count and Lorenzo, who lived on and off with best man Robert Straub for many years until his death from cancer, is now happily ensconced in a relationship with a fellow Egyptian.

What reminded me of our Pitty Pat and her ill fated wedding was a story I read about Catherine the Great of Russia. Gazing from her window one spring morning, she spotted the year’s first primrose, and to deter anyone from picking it, she posted a sentry to guard it day and night. Sentries continued to patrol the lawn long after the death of both Catherine and the flower, simply because no one rescinded the order. It was some 50 years before Count Bismarck realised that the manpower could be more gainfully employed elsewhere.

Catherine found here

Catherine was also notable for mistreating her hairdresser. When she discovered she had dandruff, she imprisoned the poor man in an iron cage for three years to stop the news spreading around the royal court. Here’s another hairdressing tale that didn’t end well….

A hairdresser from the small Russian town of Meshchovsk subdued a man who tried to rob her shop, then imprisoned and raped him over a period of three days. The incident occurred as the working day was coming to an end, when a man armed with a gun rushed in and demanded the takings.

read about this other Russian hairdresser here

The frightened employees and customers agreed to fulfill his demand, but the shop’s owner, 28-year-old Olga, knocked him down on the floor and then tied him up with a hairdryer cord. The 32-year-old Viktor couldn’t have known that the woman was a yellow belt in karate.

Olga locked the unlucky robber in the utility room and told her colleagues that she was going to call the police – but didn’t do so. When everybody left, she ordered him to ‘take of his underpants’ threatening to hand him over to the police if he refused to cooperate.

patent for these underpants found here

After that Olga raped her hostage for three long days. She chained Viktor to the radiator with pink furry handcuffs and fed him Viagra.  When she eventually let the man go on Monday, he went straight to hospital as his genitals were injured, and then to the police.

Viagra ad found here

What a bastard,” the woman said about Viktor. “Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1.000 roubles (around $ 30) when he left.”

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40 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. “The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.”

  2. She bought him new jeans but did she give him those underpants? and what about the furry handcuffs?

  3. Catherine was less clever than Olga, just locking the fellow up like that. She could have had a bit of rumpy-pumpy while she held him prisoner.

  4. Some people take image to such extremes!
    *self-consciously brushing off shoulders* 🙂

  5. One should always have pink fluffy handcuffs in the back room of a hairdresser’s shop.

  6. Hmmmm.. these underpants with the ‘scrotum outlet port’ do they come in tartan? Pardon the pun of course.

    • You can come over here in tartan Jimmy

  7. Well, that’s a good way to deal with an unwanted intruder. If a female Jehovah’s Witness appears at my door and then goes missing for the weekend, you’ll know what happened. Though I have a suspicion Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t much care for self-indulgent activities like sex.

  8. Primrose Dunlop. OK, she was from jilted by a Qantas steward–was that not a warning sign in itself? But please remind me what exactly she was famous for, apart from that?

    • Martin your blog post is protected. May I have the password please?

  9. Is it really 21 years ago – that story always seemed to me to have so many interesting perspectives. I used to think Henry James might have written a nice long novel about it, had he been around.

    • Oh Henry James? I love love love his books. Have you read The American?

  10. when i get my hair done at my salon next time (Big Gay Chuck’s Big Gay Hair Salon) i’m going to ask to see the back room… god knows what the girls have tied to the radiator.

  11. That Catherine story about the guard is priceless. And then you realize how it is so easy for the government to waste resources.

  12. Whatever happened to dandruff? Back in the 70s, everyone had it.

  13. I’m disturbed by that rape story. Rape is not funny.

    • You’re right Syncy, rape is not funny. But I’m not convinced that the Russian story is completely true. It has an exaggerated sound to it

  14. “Pitty Pat.” Too funny.

  15. Gobsmacked, once again. Just when I thought the world couldn’t get any more surprising, the Gimcrack delivers.

    • Are you too young to remember the Pitty Pat story Mitzi? King Willy tried to convince me he was…

  16. The robber would NEVER rob again i’m sure!
    Olga reminds me of a friend’s maid who beat up a few robbers who tried to attack her. She didn’t rape him though.

  17. HA! I so love how you can go from gay grooms to primroses to dandruff in one post, and yet it all seems to flow…

  18. Are snowflakes an indication that Mother Nature has dandruff? I know thunder is made when God moves His furniture around, so it is entirely possible.

    • Where does God get his furniture? Do you think he shops at Ikea?

  19. I shudder to think what Olga would have done to Lorenzo if he’d tried that stunt with her.

    • Best comment today!!

  20. I’ve had a long running fantasy of being caught in the act and being repeatedly raped by a hot woman. I could even go for the fuzzy pink handcuffs.

    I’m back baby!

    • Well it’s about time Scott….. 😉

  21. I know a few fellas who would like those underpants.

    • Would they be the same fellas who are reading your Gay Marriage Guide?

  22. Hey beautiful. I’ve closed my blog to the public for the time being but I added your email so if you want to read all you have to do is log in once.

    • Thank you so much Rebecca xxx

  23. Well, that robber sure got more than he bargained for! I wonder how he told the police about the story. Did they have to figure the penalty for armed robbery and then subtract it from the penalty for kidnapping and rape?

  24. Sadly that very well-known myth about Catherine the Great is indeed just that…a myth

    • I know the story about her dying whilst having sex with a horse is just a myth but I want to believe the hairdresser/dandruff tale. It sounds like a plausible reaction for a hair proud royal….

      • Wait one darn minute. The horse story is a myth? I’m so bummed.

  25. Wow, what a woman

  26. I must have been looking ahead to the underpants graphic, because I thought you said “unlucky rubber.”

  27. Hmm, I need a ‘haircut’. Getting to Russia might be a bit of a problem, though…

  28. I think Catherine had the right idea. If every soldier guarded a flower….

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