the foot fetishist and the duchess

Jimmy Donahue was the black sheep grandson of Frank Woolworth

Jimmy Donahue found here

Jimmy was born bad. Knowing he would never have to work in his life, he devised a career for himself – that of mischief-making. His antics were shocking. Only his wealth and social position kept him out of jail. Dressed as a nun he instructed his chauffeur to stop in the middle of the Lake Worth Bridge, pulled up his nun’s habit and squatted. Two passing cars collided. A parachutist and skilled pilot, he flew under the same bridge and buzzed an aircraft carrier, which got him in trouble.

not your usual nun found here

Friends never knew when he would take off his clothes in public or pee in a dish at elegant dinner parties. At other times, he would dress as a prostitute or act out the life of a male hustler or pad a dress with pillows and pretend to be the grand society hostess Elsa Maxwell.

image found here

Most of his time was spent with the super rich. His love for the theater offered a string of chorus boys on tap, but there was a dark side. He shocked everyone when he said he once slept with a cadaver and enjoyed it. It is also rumored he murdered his lover and participated in a brutal stabbing. His good friend was New York Cardinal Francis Spellman, an atrocious homosexual and sexual predator. There were many pranks. But the best was taking the Duchess of Windsor to bed.

Cardinal Spellman and friends found here

Jimmy first met the Duchess at the Palm Beach Palace hotel. He was 25 and she was 44.  For the next four years, they were inseparable as the poor, ageing Duke played the tormented cuckold. Nobody else suspected, because Jimmy, until this point , had been a hugely promiscuous homosexual.

Wallis Simpson found here

By 1950, the Duke and Duchess of Windsor had been married for 13 years and their relationship was largely one-way traffic, with the Duke gaining gratification from his hectoring and abusive wife while she refused him sexual satisfaction.

The Duke, a straight repressed foot fetishist with an interest in masochism, was into sexual self abasement such as nanny/child scenes; he wore diapers, she was the mistress, etc. While Jimmy and the Duchess had non-penetrative and principally oral sex, the Duke looked the other way.

Duke of Windsor found here

She married a King, but screwed a queen,’ was one observation made of the Duchess’s affair with the homosexual Jimmy.

In the end, wiser counsels prevailed – and Jimmy was getting bored anyway. There was a row, Jimmy kicked her on the shin, drawing blood, and finally the tiny Duke gathered up enough courage to shout: ‘We’ve had enough of you now. Get out!’ 

Jimmy went back to the life he’d known before, queening it round the Fifth Avenue bars strictly reserved for New York’s gay upper-crust. When people asked him about the Windsors, he would say: ‘Oh, them! Don’t you know I’ve abdicated?’

From an article by Don Paulson found here

“One night on our way to Peabody’s he asked, ‘Can you get me an Eskimo? I’ve always wanted an Eskimo.’ ‘What age?,’ I asked. ‘What age?! I didn’t think I could get that much service here!’ he replied. Jimmy had tricked all over the world and I mused that an Eskimo was probably the only person left he hadn’t gone to bed with.

Australian band Eskimo Joe found here

“When we got to Madame Peabody’s I started looking for an Eskimo, but I only saw local Indians. Finally, I went up to a good looking Indian and said, ‘I’m looking for an Eskimo.’ He replied, ‘Well, I used to live in Alaska.’ I said, ‘Fine, are you gay?’ ‘No, but I’ll do anything for a price,’ he replied.

“I asked, ‘Do you know how to rub noses?’ He replied, ‘Why would I want to rub noses? You mean rub some guys nose on the floor?’ ‘No, rub noses, that’s how Eskimos kiss,’ I said. ‘You want me to rub noses with you for a price?he asked. ‘No not me, I want to introduce you to someone. You’ll like him and he’s very rich,’ I said. ‘Do I have to pay you a commission?’ he asked. ‘No, it’s all yours,’ I replied.

“He asked, ‘Well, what do I have to do with this man, he won’t do anything except blow me or poke me in the butt will he?‘ I said, ‘Don’t worry about whips or anything like that, it’s okay – think, ice cubes.’ ‘Ice cubes?’ he repeated. ‘Yes, ice cubes. Eskimos live in ice cubes,” I pointed out. ‘Okay, I’ll be a good Eskimo,’ he said. ‘Well then, mush Nanook!’ I said.

“Jimmy got his Eskimo and they had a good time.’

Nanook found here

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38 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Eskimos stick to their lovers because they live in iglues.

  2. Nothing surprising really, after all, Wallis did look like a boy.

    • Do you think so? In most photos she’s rather plain but in that photo I think she’s gorgeous. Or are you referring to her flattish chest?

  3. Nowadays, this sort of thing would be all over Twitter and Facebook in five seconds flat. With photos.

    • Do you twitter Melbo? I can’t summon up the interest or the energy for yet another communication platform

      • Believe it or not, I’ve only just become a twit. I don’t get it and I’m still not sure why I did it. I’m hoping someone will be able to explain it to me.

  4. Idle hands and all that …. tsk

  5. The only thing that is generally known in the UK about Edward and Mrs. Simpson is what was shown on the TV series I suspect (I don’t have a TV).

    • Edward Fox is a dead ringer for Eddie

      • In that photo with Spellman and Tricky Dicky Jimmy looks like a Kennedy!

      • That’s because it’s not Jimmy, it’s JFK

  6. Loved this story – and that terrible joke from Carldagostino

    • I’m partial to a groaner myself

  7. My mom told me the story of Edward and Mrs. Simpson when I was a little girl, but for some reason she left out all the fetishes and adultery.

    • Some mothers do that. Apparently I told my kids too much…..

  8. I guess it was probably just as well he abdicated. Sort of puts Charles, Diana and Camilla into perspective.

    Still, it begs the question of why was he ever invited to any dinner party after he peed in the first dish. . .

    • Well it was Edward who abdicated and Jimmy who peed in the dish, but if you’re wealthy enough you can get away with almost anything.

  9. When I’m at an elegant dinner party, I have to constantly remind myself not to pee into any of the dishes. I blame the dishes for looking so piss-worthingly nice.

    • That must be a constant temptation for you RF, given the plethora of invitations you receive

  10. why do i like these people? why does this tale make me want to hang out with them? why don’t i have a therapist?

    • Because you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know?

  11. Not surprising about Jimmy doing Wallace given the rumours that she was really a he… If the money was right I may have bent over and screamed in inuit f the price was right!

    • I read that she may have had androgen insensitivity syndrome. Whether that’s true or not I doubt we’ll ever know but she lived her life as a woman so I view her as one

      • Wow is that right? I must do some more Googling.

  12. That puppy looks like he’s considering peeing-up a dinner party…

    • haha… you’re right – he does

  13. I usually pee into the vases, they’re more roomy. Provided they’re not full of flowers of course.

    • I just googled “pee in vase” looking for inspiration for a pithy reply…. I wish I hadn’t

      • I see what you mean. I had no idea this was yet another well-established fetish.

  14. You got me straight out of the post with the squatting nun. I love the story of Wallis.

    • Oh good. I often wonder if some of the images might be considered “over the line”

      • See that line and cross it right into next week, Nursey.

  15. Feet are my least favourite part of the human anatomy, I’ve rarely seen a pair I would consider beautiful. Maybe that’s why I like shoes so much.

    • I quite like feet, especially those with long toes or high arches. Definitely no bunions!

  16. These are so funny and entirely brilliant. And that Nanook well what is there more to say? Well done!

  17. There’s chapter in Tina Fey’s book devoted to male comedy writers’ predilection for peeing in jars.

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