mars bar sandwiches

Colin Tennant, Lord Glenconner, celebrated his 60th birthday in grand style. He chartered a 440 foot four masted sailing vessel and had 130 of his nearest and dearest installed in its 75 state rooms for a week long cruise from Santa Lucia to Martinique and Mustique.

Lord Glenconner found here

The guests were hermetically sealed in the elegant confines of the vessel, where they swam in the pool, gambled in the casino, worked out in the gym, drank at the bar, danced in the disco and watched a selection of 58 pornographic videos. 

image found here

On the night of the party, wearing a gold crown and a rope of pearls, Lord Glenconner was dressed in white magnificence, his robes encrusted in gold embroidery. Handsome, almost nude black males, with their private parts encased in coconut shells painted gold, lined the pink carpeted walkway to the house.

image found here

There were princesses galore at the party, Princess Margaret, two of the Lowenstein princesses and Princess Tina who provided cabaret entertainment. She performed gymnastic gyrations while she balanced full glasses of champagne on her head and pelvic area. A heavily wined English lady sat in the reflecting pool in front of the pleasure palace and pulled up her skirts to the refreshing waters. “My god, look at her – she’s showing her bush!” another lady cried out.

image found here

After Margaret’s marriage to Lord Snowdon on 6 May 1960, the couple honeymooned in the Caribbean; Glenconner made them a wedding present of 10 acres of land on Mustique. She went out twice a year, in February and late autumn, presiding over a social set which sometimes lurched into loucheness, with characters such as the East End-criminal-turned-actor John Bindon. However, Glenconner denied that Bindon had produced his prodigious manhood for royal eyes; the flashing was done to one of her ladies-in-waiting, who merely commented, “I’ve seen bigger

John Bindon found here

Early in the 1980s, Tennant paid around £200,000 for Jalousie Plantation, 488 acres of virgin rainforest in St Lucia. He sold half the land to a holiday resort developer, while he, next door, opened a restaurant he called Bang Between the Pitons because potential clients always had to ask where it was and were told: “It’s bang between the Pitons [two volcanic peaks].” He had a seaside shack with one bedroom containing a solid silver four-poster bed. One commentator wrote that Bang Between the Pitons was the only place in the world where you could find Princess Margaret and a member of Led Zeppelin eating bananas and Mars Bar sandwiches.

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In a last wilful act, committed just before he left his adopted home of St Lucia to return to Scotland for a brief visit, the beady old reprobate cut his family out of his will — and left everything to his faithful manservant, Kent Adonai. As one mesmerised critic noted: “Lord Glenconner was the Basil Fawlty of the aristocracy.”

image found here

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43 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Good lord! I’d forgotten some of these people!(Which might be as well…)

    • Not Margaret though I presume

  2. I thought that was Margaret there – that woman was a party animal.

    How hilarious … loved reading this!

    • The strange lives led by the rich and famous…

  3. “I’ve seen bigger”


    • Not so ouchy though if the ‘bigger’ one was 12″ and he was a 10 incher 😉

  4. i’m going to practice those champagne gyrations… what a lovely party trick!

    • Ooh I’d love to see you do that on our next holiday together

  5. The Basil Fawlty of aristocracy… LOL

  6. And I always thought Margaret was a fuddy duddy

    • Good lord no. She was a holy terror

      • Yes, but she opted to stay within the fold and still draw the Public Purse allowance.

  7. Buck House must have been on tenterhooks for all of Princess Margaret’s life. Although this tale mentions her in a passive voice, I would be surprised if she was always an onlooker – – –

    • Me too. A documentary was made a few years ago that alleges she had a full on affair with Bindon

  8. Wow – and here, I was prepared for some sci-fi story about the Red Planet having a problem with finger foods.
    Then again, these antics ARE pretty “out there”…..

    • There’re lots of antics at the Gimcrack

  9. Yes, Led Zep rules

  10. Yegods, the lives of the rich and famous… I think I would prefer a few beers with my friends!

  11. Play Stairway to Heaven!
    Play Stairway to Heaven!

  12. I’ve never been hermetically sealed into a party. I’d like to try.

    • You should come along to the parties I go to – they’re wild!

  13. Wow. Just wow. I’m still trying the digest the totality of that imagery. What in the world is a Marsbars sandwich?

    • I’d prefer a BELT sandwich E stands for a hard fried egg.

    • A mars bar sandwich is a heart attack waiting to happen. There are certain fish and chip shops in Sydney that famously make “deep fried mars bars”….the chocolate bar is dipped and covered in batter, then dropped in the deep fryer. Are you feeling nauseous yet!?

      • Sounds like the deep fried snickers bars at the fairs here. The absolutely worst thing I ever hear of was deep fried Twinkies: a Twinkie dipped in funnel cake batter, deep fried, dusted with powdered sugar and served with syrup. Now THAT is a diabetic coma waiting to happen. Not sure which I would prefer: a heart attack or a diabetic coma….

      • Do they drop the battered Mars bars in the same oil they fry the fish in?

        I haven’t seen this in person, but apparently deep fried butter is available at state fairs and similar venues here.

  14. Coconut shell codpieces cannot be comfortable.

    • But they do draw attention to the genitalia 😉

  15. What a wonderful man. You can’t take it with you!

    • I agree. Spend spend spend. Help the local economy.

  16. I think I might like to try a Mars bar sandwich just once. There’s a place on Campbell Parade that sells deep fried Mars bars but I don’t fancy that at all.

    • I prefer Snickers to Mars Bars

  17. Unapologetic to the end, he was.

  18. I remember reading about this guy – loved your telling of the story xxx

  19. St Lucia famously portrayed in a novel-length epic poem called Omeros by Derek Walcott. Stunning, beautiful book.

  20. I think I should lurch into loucheness more often. The only problem is that if my mum heard about it she might cut me out of her will. And then I’d have to resort to busking with trays of champagne balanced on my pelvic area.

  21. Now I’d be interested to know about Kent Adonai !

  22. He partied like it was 1899!

  23. This has made me realize that my friends (and their parties) are not nearly interesting enough.

  24. Other than the Mars Bar sandwiches, I’ll pass.

  25. “Lurching into Loucheness” will be the name of my new autobiography!

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