eyes as lovely as a mare’s

Remember this post from last year about King Fahd of Saudi Arabia?

image found here

“When Queen Elizabeth visited King Khaled in 1979, he arranged a desert picnic for her with 50 lambs roasted on a spit, enormous silver dishes of lobster and a unicorn carved out of butter.”

blue lobster found here

It seems he was quite enamoured of English women. After meeting Margaret Thatcher in 1982, he ordered his Court Poet to compose an ode in her honour. This was the result:

image found here

“Venus was sculpted by man,

But the far more attractive woman, Margaret Thatcher,

Was sculpted by Allah.

My heart raced when I saw her face to face.

Her skin was smooth as ivory,

Her cheeks as rosy as an English rose,

And her eyes as lovely as a mare’s.

Her figure is more attractive than the figure of any cherished wife

Or coveted concubine”

Concubine Yang found here

In 1968, Janan Harb, claimed she married King Fahd under sharia in a secret ceremony at the al-Sharafiya palace. In 1970 she claims she was “forced” by senior royals to leave Saudi Arabia, but continued the relationship from London after King Fahd’s coronation in 1982.

Janan Harb found here

“Allegations about King Fahd in Mrs Harb’s sworn witness statement, written to support a maintenance claim against the king, were kept secret for six years. Inquiries by The Independent on Sunday have also established that the king previously paid his “wife” £8m in hush money through a complex series of property deals, some in London using Caribbean offshore companies to hide his involvement.

Mrs Harb, a British citizen originally from Palestine, has been an embarrassment to the royal house since she launched a £400m maintenance claim against King Fahd in 2004. 

She claims King Fahd made millions from a defence contract and promised her a £6m share to be held in trust. This is where the £12m figure comes from when interest is added. “What’s £12m? It’s their laundry bill every week.”

save money on your laundry bill here

Mrs Harb said she would like the Queen to mediate for her. “I’m forever indebted to Britain for its support in my struggle… We are all aware of the close relationship of the two royal houses.”

Mrs Harb, a scientologist, warned the Saudi royals that if there was no settlement to her liking she would write a book. “I’m going to keep stirring it until they give me the money – at least £50m,” she promised.

If he were alive today I bet he wishes he’d stuck with Margaret Thatcher

image found here

Published in: on September 3, 2011 at 12:09 am  Comments (62)  
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62 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I read about H’s infatuated with Maggie. I think it was in Time magazine a few weeks ago.

    • I don’t know about Hussein’s infatuation with Maggie, the poem was commissioned by King Fahd

  2. Hey, in all seriousness, the Arabs hold their horses in high regard. So “eyes as lovely as a mare’s” IS quite the compliment – even if it does lead to “what other horse parts does she resemble” type questions.
    I don’t know what that blue lobster’s been smoking, but I’ll take a kilo to go, please.
    And all I can say about the concubine is, I hope he wasn’t paying her by the pound! (Okay, ladies, weapons clear, commence firing.) 😀

    • Yes, the eyes of most horses are particularly lovely

  3. I remember a story about one of Mrs. Thatcher’s senior staff confessing to experiencing a helpless erection when she straightened his tie before a press appearance. The whole power thing. It works from both sides of the gender divide.

    • Great story Sled

  4. A little too much Thatcher for me so early in the day.

    • I know what you mean 🙂

  5. This is probably the third or fourth reference to Margaret Thatcher I’ve heard/read in the past two weeks. (Also probably the most intriguing – the others were mainly about her handbag)

    • Denis?

      • Just one short paragraph.

      • Denis the handbag…. haha, very funny Syncy

      • snort! _:)

  6. I would never have guessed that old Brass Cupcakes could inspire such poetic equine comparisons – but then I would never have guessed she would have been on Sports Illustrated either – first time I’ve seen photos of her as a young woman – not always ‘The Iron Lady’ in appearance after all

    • “Brass Cupcakes”? oh, that’s glorious! we just always referred to her as “Helmet Hair”…

      • I didn’t know she was referred to as brass cupcakes either. Is that a reference to her bosom or her hairstyle?

      • Hey, wasn’t Stepfanie Kramer’s character on the 80s series “Hunter” (with Fred Dryer) known as the Brass Cupcake? I wonder if Maggie was named after her or vice versa. Talk about culture clash!

      • wow – you are full of esoteric information aren’t you?

  7. I’ll be happy to do a week’s worth of your laundry for a mere 6 million pounds.

    • But would you do the Gimcrack’s? Even if we supply the alginate bags for free?

  8. I love Maggie’s teeth in the Sport’s Illustrated pic. Funny I’ve always thought she was the name men repeated to themselves in order to last longer in the bedroom.

    The King

    • I just imagine Little Johnnie Howard if I want to prolong the ride

  9. looks like Concubine Yang ate most of those 50 lambs 😉

    • Yeah and that’s quite a headpiece.

      • Concubine Yang’s real name is Liu Hui and he weighs in at 140 kgs

  10. Terrible thought: I have nothing to stir to raise money.
    Sx

  11. Cow-eyed or oxen-eyed is one of the regular epithets of Hera in Greek literature; I don’t know whether anyone has settled whether this goes back to when she was worshiped as a cow.

    • Welcome to the Gimcrack George, always nice to see a new face here

  12. Does the job of Court Poet pay well ?

    Only I think I could do rather better than the current occupant of that role – shouldn’t a poem at least make a pretence of rhyming ?

    Can only imagine it reads better before translation !

  13. “…as rosy as an English rose”

    That’s very lazy poetry.

    Alan Clark was obsessed with Maggie’s dainty ankles.

    • Hmmm….. i just googled him and found an interesting article in The Independent.

      “When at last he came to believe that I was impervious to his charms and would not rush off with him into the night, he turned to me with a particularly vicious look. And this is what this self-styled gentleman, this intellectual, this flower of our civilisation, then said: “Well, fuck you then. Fuck off. I’m not talking to you any more.”

  14. That has to be just about the worst poem I’ve ever read. What did he write previously, assembly instructions for IKEA?

    I could never see the physical attraction of Margaret Thatcher. Why so many senior Tories were wetting their knickers at the very thought of her I can’t imagine. She was as tough as old boots with hardly a grain of sympathy for anyone except the extremely rich.

  15. It just goes to show that you should be careful who you marry, secret sharia wedding or not.

    Maggie Thatcher. Hmm. I would NEVER have pegged her as a sexpot.

  16. A castaway Laetitia Casta got edged out on this one? I’m no editor, but… wow!

    • Have you seen her in that Chris Isaak clip “Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing”? hot hot hot

      • Indeed! Chris Isaak must hate shooting videos… I guess it’s all part of the ‘Wicked Game’, though…

  17. I sort of like the poem. It’s so awful, it’s cute. I can’t see the attraction there, however. Margaret Thatcher seems about as cuddly as a stone fence.

    • Stone is warm and yielding by comparison!

  18. So Fahd wanted to screw her? I wish he had succeeded. It might have saved us from her screwing Britain

  19. Love Maggie on Sports Illustrated! I wonder whose body that really is?

    • I’m pretty sure it’s an Elizabeth Taylor publicity shot from Suddenly Last Summer

      • It is! I should have got that myself.

  20. That’s what I forgot to include in my support claim – the laundry bill! Damn…. 😉

    • hey Elizabeth – welcome back from your blogging hiatus

  21. I never knew there could be so much money to be made for not writing a book.

  22. The lives that people lead!
    And I wonder if the queen ate any of those roasted lambs!

  23. If Harb finally succeeds in landing that 50 million she might have enough to cover her Scientology dues.

  24. I wonder how the unicorn carved out of butter stood the desert heat.
    :p

  25. Do you think that butter unicorn melted?

  26. Not to get off topic but I really miss seeing your ass on Fridays.. 😀

    • There were some corset shots about a month ago from New York and Chicago. Don’t do them too often any more, I got bored with the process but it was fun doing them with daisyfae

      • Chicago? You got pictures of Chicago? Where? WHERE?!? Sorry, I miss my hometown. More so, after having watched Blues Brothers last night. (Sigh.) “It’s my kind of town/ Chicago is….”.
        By the by, “The Windy City” was so named following a political convention around the turn of the 20th Century. A reporter coined the term for all the hot air blowing from the convention. It has nothing to do with the winds through the “concrete mountains rearing up”, despite the fact you often find ropes strung along the sidewalks around Sears Tower in winter. (It’s SEARS Tower – screw that “Willis” BS!)
        How’s that for esoteric? 😀

      • no photos of the actual city, just a couple of shots of daisyfae and me in the Wit Hotel

        https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/corsets-in-chicago/

      • Um … not sure how to put this. I was a BIT disappointed there’d be no photos of … um … er …. what was I looking for? 😉
        “Wow” doesn’t BEGIN to do those shots justice! 😀

      • I saw the Chicago pics.. NIce. 😀 It was like a heroin fix.. lol

        Keep up the great work on the blog. 🙂

  27. Janan Harb was very, very beautiful…is it just me, or is it only the extremely wealthy and gullible who flock to scientology like seagulls to a tub of half-chewed, cold fries?

  28. I always enjoy dropping by your eclectic and surprising blog. I’d heard that Maggie was thought bewitching by some – notably shagger Alan Clark of the diaries – but that poetic salute is stretching it some.

    • you’re the second person to mention Alan Clark. I hadn’t heard of him before this post.

  29. Who wasn’t infatuated with Margaret Thatcher? There was something very sexy about the cold, confident way in which she was wrong about everything.

  30. forreals though

    if i got a poem like that from anyone, no matter what he did, i would burst into laughter and throw it in his face.

    cus, really?

    gross.

  31. That poem is reminiscent of an awful one an ex (who went on to become my stalker) wrote for me entitled “Her Smile.” I vomited a bit just typing that.


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