spattered by the doctor’s love jet

Recently I watch The Invention of Dr Nakamats,  a very funny documentary about an 81 year old eccentric Japanese inventor. Brainsturbator wrote an article about him, excerpts from it are below….

image found here

Yoshiro Nakamatsu is a national hero in Japan, where he’s affectionately known as “Dr. NakaMats.” He sleeps four hours a night. He maintains this demanding schedule courtesy of special food that he naturally invented himself:

“…these are snacks I’ve invented, which I eat during the day. I’ve marketed them as Yummy Nutri Brain Food. They are very helpful to the brain’s thinking process. They are a special mixture of dried shrimp, seaweed, cheese, yogurt, eel, eggs, beef, and chicken livers—all fortified with vitamins.”

Extreme Halloween Brain Food found here

There’s more than power snacking: Nakamatsu also takes regular power naps, and he’s invented a device to enhance that, too. It’s called the Cereberex chair, and according to Dr. NakaMats “it improves memory, math skills, and creativity, lowers blood pressure, improves eyesight, and cures other ailments.”

Cerebrex Chair found at Corbis Images

The following question is one he has probably been asked hundreds of times—“so, where do you get your ideas?”—and Nakamatsu has the last answer anyone but him would ever suspect:

“The base for everything is a strong spirit, followed by a strong body, hard studies, experience and finally leads to a “trigger” experience. You “trigger” a bullet which contains spirit, body, study and experience – and finally that releases the actual invention.

water balloons being pierced by a bullet found here

How do you “trigger” an invention?

A lack of oxygen is very important.

A lack? Isn’t that dangerous?

It’s very dangerous. I get that Flash just 0.5 sec before death. I remain under water until this trigger comes up and I write it down with a special waterproof plexiglas writing pad I invented.

Dr Nakamats writing underwater found here

Do you do that a lot? Put yourself in that kind of situation to come up with a new invention?

Of course. This is the Dr. Nakamatsu method.

Nakamatsu has more than a few inventions which will probably never get the attention and investment they deserve, not least of which is the Nostradamvs II Engine, which “can run with just water, so there is no pollution at all.” Coming never to a car dealership near you!

The Nakamatsu water engine is a curious little rabbit hole. It’s also been patented under the name Enerex, and a search for that yields paranoid gems like this one:

NO SCIENCE BACKGROUND IS NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND THE ABSOLULTELY OBVIOUS REALITY OF THE WATER POWERED ENGINE invented by the greatest inventor alive today (Dr. Nakamatsu) who is thoroughly documented! Doesn’t it seem at least a little SUSPICIOUS that a scientist as great as Dr. Nakamatsu is practically unknown in America?

water powered Aston Martin found here

There’s no disputing that when Nakamatsu makes claims about being a great inventor, the numbers back him up. Thomas Edison, the most prolific inventor in US history, died with 1,093 patents. Nakamatsu, as of 2003, had 3,128.

“Love Jet is a spray-type health enhancer spattered directly across the private parts and works to combat male impotency,” Nakamatsu tells Spa! during an interview for its feature on Japan’s boki business – the booming trade to keep men erect. ”Viagra is a chemically based pharmaceutical aimed to help people with an illness, but Love Jet was created through my ideas about sex using all natural materials with no side-effects. And, unlike most other anti-impotency treatments, it’s not a pill, but a spray, allowing it to work immediately. It improves sexual response by three times among men and women.”

Korean Viagra advertisement found here

“DHEA levels markedly drop at around 25 years old, but a spray of Love Jet increases levels by three times. It doesn’t just work on erections, but also slows down the aging process.”

Love Jet is a beautiful window into the weirdness of Dr. NakaMats. You see, a single bottle of Love Jet costs 30,000 Yen, which translates to a little under $250. However, manufacturing a single bottle of Love Jet costs over 80,000 Yen, which translates to a loss of over $400 per bottle.

“…Love Jet is not about money. Japan’s biggest problem is not this economic slump we’re in now, but the low birthrate. GDP growth relates closely to population. In 50 years time, we’ll be looking at a country half as strong as it is now. I want to save Japan from a crisis, so Love Jet is a labor of love.”

“Japan Crisis” artwork found here

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42 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. O-k-a-y… I just want to point out that having patents and having patents that actually work are two different things.

    Dr NakMats’ Love Jet is not coming anywhere near my private parts.

    • Spoilsport 🙂

  2. I do wonder how many of his patented inventions work. He seems a very interesting fellow indeed.

    • I think his self defense wig is a winner

  3. Ya know, when I first read the title, it reminded me of what was voted as the worst descriptive phrase in Star Trek Fan Fiction. There’s a lot of single female fen (the plural of fan) who like to write a lot of guy on guy fiction. One particular story described Mr. Spock’s .. um .. YOU KNOW … as his “throbbing jade tower of passion”.
    Your title may have just bettered that immortal phrase…….
    How about “ALL of Dr. Maks’ inventions coming to a store never!”?

    • Hmmm…. I’d be interested in investigating a throbbing jade tower of passion

  4. Sad little Japanese box people.

    • Sad yet endearing

  5. “(Dr. Nakamatsu) who is thoroughly documented!” Someone mis-spelled “thoroughly demented!”

    • But demented in a good way don’t you think?

  6. I do like his Yummy Nutri Brain Food, I’m off to the kitchen …

  7. I want one of those chairs but not till I’ve had my zombie snack.

    • the ingredients are delicious but not altogether

  8. Weird as he is, he has good intentions I suppose.

    • A heart of gold

  9. As Nicole says, the big question is, how many of his inventions actually work and how many are complete hokum? The water powered engine has been suggested by many engineers and is said to be quite feasible, though somehow not yet a commercial reality.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to spray my private parts. With water.

  10. Does this guy also hawk shark fin soup and rhinoceros horn? What’s next – tiger poop?

  11. NakaMats. NakaMats. NakaMats. I’m sorry, I just can’t stop saying it. It sounds like a 1950s version of a futuristic automated … something. Maybe a restaurant staffed by robots (“Let’s get a snack at the NakaMat”) or an automated gift shop (“I bought this knickknack at the NakaMat”). NakaMats. NakaMats. NakaMats. Maybe it’s something you put on the floor in your bathroom with advanced nanotechnology to blow-dry your feet after a shower (“That’s no ordinary bathmat; it’s a NakaMat”). NakaMats. NakaMats. NakaMats.

    • Step AWAY from the keyboard Miss, and keep your hands where I can see them…

      • NakaMats. NakaMats.

    • Stop with the damn’ earworm! Naka-mats, nak-aowww!

      • Knick-knack NakaMats, give a dog a bone.

  12. Anyone working on improving power naps has my vote.

  13. Tempting in terms of coming up with some creative writing ideas but I think I’ll pass on the “trigger/Flash” experience.

    • It wouldn’t work for me either

  14. I think I might need the Cerebrex chair…

    • I’d prefer one of those massaging chairs that pummel you with little fists

  15. Yikes – I think I would surface before I wrote that idea down!

  16. Clearly he’s in the entertainment business – he deserves 11/10 for audacity

  17. But wait! Isn’t your bog-standard Stanley Steamer a water-powered car, already…?

    • That’s a very cute car. The steam looks a bit dangerous though

      • Surely no more so than many of the good, ummm, doctor’s moment-of-death brainwaves, ma’am…

  18. I think it would be difficult to call anything that contains dried shrimp, seaweed, and eel yummy, but he sure seems to be a prolific inventor.

    • I like all those foods, in moderation anyway.

  19. Yummy Nutri Brain Food made with a special mixture of dried shrimp, seaweed, cheese, yogurt, eel, eggs, beef, and chicken livers sounds great. Except for the dried shrimp, eel, beef and chicken livers.

    • But those are the ingredients that Teva and Isabel want

      • Sounds like Whiskas to me. 😉

  20. too bad michael jackson’s dead. sounds like mikey woulda given the doctor the entire concession at neverland.

  21. So….you spray this stuff on your todger and it gets big as a treetrunk and twice as hard. Then you stuff this by-now giant thing into the nearest (welcoming) vagina….transferring said spray onto the surfaces of that. So do women then find that their vaginas also stiffen up? Swell up? Straighten out?

    I think we should be told.

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