warning to wives of diplomats

When Pamela Egremont returned from Peking, she bought back a copy of the following circular to show John Julius Norwich.

Lady Pamela found here

It was typed entirely in capital letters but I can’t bring myself to do that to you. I have left the grammatical errors as they were written

“From the Embassy of the Republic of Sierra Leone, Peking”

This is to inform all missions, especially the wives of other diplomats here in Peking, of the incident surrounding the sudden departure from Peking of the Sierra Leone Ambassador’s wife, Mrs Theresa Malomo Kojo Randall.

How beautiful is Sierra Leone?

Mrs Kojo Randall left suddenly to avoid scandal after her husband caught her with a packet of poison which was supposedly sent to her by her Guinean sweetheart whom she already has a 1 year old son for and from whom the ambassador snatched her away to come to Peking. This is the reason in fact why he did not realise she was already pregnant before. He married her and she had to come and undergo an abortion here in Peking on her arrival.

Terry-Poison found here

The poison was supposed to be used in cooking food for the ambassador to kill him so that Mrs Randall can easily return to her Guinean trader sweetheart in Freetown.

Well informed sources in Freetown said Mrs Randall confessed in Sierra Leone that she was advised to send for and use the poison for her husband by the wife of the First Secretary of the Embassy, Mrs Stella Saquee, who claimed vast experience in using such juju to keep her own husband quiet this is way he does not notice that she sleeps around with a lot of men here in Peking.

All Diplomatic Mission


Juju found here

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44 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I hear Lady Ivy was also enamored of using poison. Hence…

  2. Sierra Leone looks nice in pictures, but it’s a terribly troubled place.

    • I know it’s dangerous and there’s a lot of poverty. I just didn’t expect it to have such beautiful beaches

      • I think that’s what it says on Sierra Leone bumper stickers: ‘We might be up to our armpits in assholes, but you should see our beaches!’

      • hahahaha

  3. Good ol’ John Julius – he gets to hear all manner of scandal.

    • Everyone wants their story included in his Christmas Crackers

  4. I shudder to think what a Peking abortion consisted of in those times… Bad Juju!

    The King

    • Bad JuJu indeed!

  5. Thank heavens I’m not very diplomatic.

    • your lack of diplomacy is one of your charms daddyp

  6. Sordid stuff, Nurse M.

    • Yes, but don’t you love it Mitzi?

  7. I wonder why it’s called ‘sleeping around’, when actually the last thing the participants are doing is sleeping…………..well, unless they are me, of course.

    • Poor Affer

  8. I am the wife of a diplomat so I can tell you that our lives are just as portrayed here – a complete nightmare (and you can’t get decent juju men these days either)

    • A diplomat’s wife…. ah, now it all makes sense

  9. My wife just finished The Poisoner’s Handbook and keeps gushing about what a great read it was. I don’t suppose I have need to worry, do I? Unless, of course, she start gushing to friends about how useful it can be.

    • Damn! It’s not on Kindle, but I just ordered a copy with my birthday money anyway 🙂

  10. That’s it. My ambitions for a diplomatic career married to a woman from Sierra Leone are at an end. Devastated.

    • Hey…. haven’t you already got a wife?

  11. The problem with juju and/or poison when it comes to dealing with marital problems is that the spouse is always the first suspect.
    Tempting though…. 😉

    • I’ve never been tempted to poison a spouse. a patient maybe…. 😉

  12. Love the look of that beach. Guinea Trader Sweetheart sounds like a new brand of chocolate.

    • I hadn’t thought if that, but you’re right. Great name.

  13. How did her husband know it was poison? Was it clearly labelled “Premier Poison. High strength. Kills instantly. Ideal for use on unwanted husbands”?

    • He was a naturally suspicious psychic

  14. Another reason my wife works in a restaurant. By the time she gets home, if anybody was deserving of death, THEY are toast, and I can eat mine in perfect safety!
    Hm, that last sandwich tasted a bit off, kinda…ack … cough … gasp ….

    • Did she use rye bread? You could be a victim of ergot poisoning…

  15. Wives of diplomats are a lot busier than I thought.

    • Yes apparently it’s not all gin slings and dinner parties

  16. I’m still trying to figure out what “this” refers to in “This is the reason in fact why he did not realise she was already pregnant before.” The fact that she had a Guinean sweetheart? That she had a 1-year-od son? That she’d received a packet of poison?

    I’m so confused…

    • You’ll have to join the Diplomats’ Wives’ Club to find out

  17. Gives a whole new slant to spam letters from Africa.

    • Where’s the offer of untold riches though?

    • hahaha

  18. I’ve always thought being poisoned is a very romantic way to die… (Note to self: Must stop watching so many crime related shows)

    • There’s nothing romantic about agonising spasms, vomiting and diarrhea. I’d choose carbon monoxide or a heroin overdose

  19. Ha! Pretty much a boilerplate, I guess…

  20. I was struck by the last paragraph, in which the Wife of the First Secretary claims that using this juju (poison) helps keep her husband from noticing that she is sleeping around.

    Yeah, I guess being dead might get in the way of noticing your wife’s proclivities.

  21. I thought Sierra Leone directed spaghetti westerns.

    • Haha…. close but no cigar 😉

  22. Seems like the author of that circular had just taken a sip of his juju-laced coffee when he wrote it

  23. I wonder if a Poison album would have had the same effect.

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