Silvio Berlusconi has his own private fortune teller and her name is Teodora
image found here
She foretold that he would become prime minister, to which he replied that if her predictions came true, he’d guarantee her TV appearances—and riches—for life. Recently, Teodora was kind enough to consent to an interview with Vice Magazine, which must have been boring since she presumably knew what would be asked beforehand.
Vice magazine cover found here
VICE: Tell us how your psychic career started.
“In 1984 I was in a car accident, which put me in a coma for 14 days. When I came around, I had these strange feelings. I thought I was going insane. Hearing the voice in my head for the first time, I refused to accept it was real. In communist times it was very difficult to share such bizarre experiences.
more communist construction images found here
VICE: So who, exactly, is the entity behind the omnipotent voice that is broadcast inside your head?
His name is Unilson, and he comes from the planet Vanfim. What he told me is that everything around us is energy, which contains information about all that exists, much like a giant computer. All you need is the key: a name and birth date. The key allows you to look into the past and the present, and therefore the future.
image found here
VICE: Did Unilson tell you about the origin of this world, of human beings?
Both us and them are God’s creatures, and the extraterrestrials made the robot.
VICE: Is it likely that your alien friends may wish to pay us a visit anytime soon?
They’re already here, they’re the energy making contact with us. But we are not ready yet. They don’t want tot scare us; they just want to help us lead a more earthly and natural life. The indigo and crystal children who have been coming into the world recently are prepared to make contact with them.
VICE: Will the world be ending soon?
2012 will not be the end of the world. However, the system will change and provide answers to a number of important questions that have been piquing the human mind. For instance, the euro will continue to decline, and by 2016 there will be a new European currency. Germany will embark on a new path and establish its own currency. Italy will be revived and prosper once more. Turkey will become the leader of the Islamic world. China has been trying to see how the land lies before it starts to expand.
polluted land in China found here
VICE: How about the USA?
America is still the top power, but China is claiming the position. There will be turmoil over some countries’ debts, but the future belongs to the Asian race. America will clash with Iran in an Israel-inspired conflict. Chemical and nuclear war will start from there.
VICE: Oh, man, this doesn’t sound good. Iranians can be a tad extreme.
This is inevitable, and so is the war. Parts of the ocean will be poisoned, the air too, and some of the crops, and not only in Iran but in many parts of the planet. Sea animals will start dying for no visible reason. Countries will become self-encapsulated. Those that have freshwater will not share it; those that have oil will keep it to themselves. Another thing: There will be some problems caused by an asteroid.
Geonosis asteroid battle found here
VICE: What is the future of the Middle East following the Arab Spring?
They will turn to modern Islam, and great changes are in store for their governments. They will be united around their sheikhs and have their own currency. But this and other things I should not tell you, for they are in my new book, which is due out soon.
Bedouin sheikhs found here
VICE: With previous prognostications you’ve made, many failed to come true. For instance, you predicted that Berlusconi would complete his full term, and look what happened.
I am only a tiny conductor of all this energy. I am not perfect, and good for me: Imagine the CIA abducting me, and then I’d have to work for them. Generally, I have about 80 percent reliability, plus the future can be altered by other factors.
image from the CIA museum found here
VICE: What other factors?
Humans, for example. We have been excessively investing in the material, and therefore nothing good awaits us. In 2012, people’s thinking will undergo a process of reevaluation. The flexible ones, who are fit to live with plenty and with little, shall survive, while the rest fall away.
VICE: Do you honestly believe such a change is possible?
The year started with a tragedy in Italy, and remember what happened in Japan last year. Calamities bring people together, and there are more to come. People will be continuously scanned; the computer will become an integral part of any man, like a wristwatch. We shall all be scanned, financially and otherwise, but we’ll also be watched by other civilizations. Time will be running out, and it will seem to us that life is getting shorter and shorter.
wristwatch computer found here
VICE: Won’t it be getting longer?
It surely will. Some people will look like mummies but will live as long as 150 years, thanks to advanced medicine.
image found here
VICE: How do people of faith respond to your powers?
The Catholic Church will acknowledge the extraterrestrials, who implicitly obey God anyway, so the Vatican and the rest of the churches will have to reconsider their attitude to this particular issue. The first disconcerting thing to happen will be the discovery of God’s particle. And this is due to happen very very shortly……