goatish gonads

One of our favourite characters here at the Gimcrack is Dr Serge Voronoff who has been mentioned in not one, not two, but three posts before. Serge was responsible for transplanting bits of monkey testes into aging men. John Brinkley went one step further – he became a millionaire during the twenties by transplanting goat glands instead.

Brinkley and wife found here

While working as house doctor at the Swift meatpacking company, he was dazzled by the vigorous mating activities of the goats destined for the slaughterhouse. Later, after Brinkley had gone into private practice, a farmer named Stittsworth came to see him. Stittsworth complained of a sagging libido. Recalling the goats’ frantic antics, the doctor semi-jokingly told his patient that what he needed was some goat glands. Stittsworth quickly responded, “So, Doc, put ’em in. Transplant ’em.”

image found here

Most doctors would have ignored the bizarre request, but Brinkley was not like most doctors. In fact, he wasn’t a doctor at all. Although he had spent three years at Bennet Medical College in Chicago, he’d never graduated. He called himself a doctor on the basis of a $500 diploma he had purchased from the Eclectic Medical University of Kansas City.

“Eclectic” found here

Buying a degree from a diploma mill was not out of character for Brinkley. He had worked as a snake-oil salesman in a road show, and then, with fellow con man James Crawford, established Greenville Electro Medical Doctors. Under this name the pair injected people with colored distilled water for $25 a shot. Brinkley, therefore, had all he needed to capitalize on the farmer’s idea of goat-gland transplants: he was unethical, he had a wobbly knowledge of medicine, and he had witnessed the rambunctious behavior of goats.

image found here

Brinkley went to work, implanting a small piece of goat gonad in Stittsworth’s testicle. Soon the farmer was thanking the doctor for giving him back his libido. And when his wife gave birth to a boy, whom they appropriately named Billy, Stittsworth spread the word further. Brinkley’s business was booming and even at $750 per transplant, he couldn’t keep up with demand. All men needed the Brinkley operation, he declared, but the procedure was most suited to the intelligent and least suited to the “stupid type.” This, of course, ensured that few of his patients would admit that they had not benefited from the operation.

Baby Billy Bob found here

Revenue from the surgeries made Brinkley an immensely wealthy man. For $5,000, he would even implant genuine human glands, which he obtained from prisoners on death row. He had mansions, a fleet of Cadillacs, airplanes, and yachts.There were occasional problems like when Brinkley decided to use angora goat testicles instead of those from the more common Toggenberg goat. Recipients of the angora testicles were unhappy—Brinkley himself noted that they reeked like a steamy barn in midsummer. 

image found here

But ultimately Brinkley couldn’t cure himself. The Milford Messiah—as he was sometimes called—the man who had performed over 16,000 goat testicle transplants, the man who appropriately wore a goatee all his life, developed a blood clot, forcing doctors to amputate his leg. Till the very end, Brinkley’s scheming mind remained active. Confined to bed, he decided to study for the ministry and had visions of becoming a big-time preacher but he died before he could complete his degree.

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47 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Ooooooo…I do love your posts sometimes (this one)…then again, maybe I’m just reaching out to a complete stranger.

    No, but seriously, I do love your posts sometimes…I always learn summin. Usually, summin funny. My favourite!

    OH, I’m orsum. I suk. I’m orsum. NO. I suk…
    Cheers ears! Have a doozy! x

    • Spevin, what’s happened to your blog/tumblr? 😦

  2. Those angora goats are so cute!

    • But what have they done to their feet?

      • Covered ’em up. their tootsies were cold

  3. Natural Viagra … I’m sure some started bleating too. I wonder whether the death row inmates received something for their balls or whether they even knew that them wold be cut off afterwards … I hope they did wait until after the punishment was administered …

    • i don’t even want to think about it…..

  4. A truly eclectifying yarn, ma’am…

    • why thank you coyote

  5. So that’s why some people are described as ‘an old goat’:)

    • Randy old goats 😉

  6. That is the most bizarre instance of the placebo effect I’ve ever heard

    • I’ll have to investigate my medical books

  7. I personally endorse going into the ministry.

    • It’s done wonders for your career reverend

  8. And all the wives and/or girlfriends were expressing their “satisfaction” with major eye rolls…

    • Or a resounding “No!”

  9. he wore a goatee all his life – lol.

    • cute huh?

      • i do like men with goatee !

  10. The man was a genius – he found 16,000 men to pull the wool over their eyes; or the sack over the gland at least

    • somehow I think that figure is a slight exaggeration.

  11. I’m not a doctor, but I’ve seen one on T.V.

    • That entitles you to make emphatic diagnoses.

  12. Yikes goat balls, I think I would rather be shot up with the Zappa concoction at least he had some wicked music!

  13. It’s a good thing they didn’t need anti-rejection drugs back then when even smoking was good for you.

    The King

    • ah the good old day – when hysterical women could got to their doctor’s surgery for a vibrating orgasm

  14. I had the goat gland treatment….spent all my time chasing nannies.

  15. Goat bollocks cure? Surely he was kidding!

    • Money is a deadly serious business

  16. Does anyone even remember Frank Zappa anymore? Apostrophe was a pretty big deal when I was a kid.

    Thank god for viagra. It saved the goats and angoras.

    • I took my newborn (3 weeks) son to a Frank Zappa concert. I thought it was fantastic but he claims not to remember it

  17. Some surgeons have grafted veins into the area in question and increased blood flow has had positive effects. If the body rejects organ transplants from humans in time, certainly animal parts would rot away too and cause complications. What these jerks really needed was a brain implant for their empty craniums.

  18. I am not in any way related to this guy!

    • Of course not. you’re missing 3 letters

  19. goatnuts….death row thievery, my lord,
    isn’t anyone minding the store?

    • apparently not 😦

  20. Hate to say it but Brinkley and his wife look weirdly like monkeys themselves in that top picture. Fascinating post, as usual.

    • Surgical scrubs are not exactly the most flattering fashion are they?

  21. I always thought transplants had the risk of the body rejecting the transplanted organ when the donor was human and even if tests pronounced it compatible. Didn’t these surgeries with goat glands cause any complications?

    • I’m sure they did

  22. “baaa” means “no”. the lengths men will endure for an erection…

  23. This “doctor” sure had some balls.

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