the mental anguish of seeing stars

Back in 1998, Paul Shimkonis was just enjoying his bachelor party in a Florida nightclub when things got a little out of control

Paul Shimkonis rests his neck

Shimkonis says he was attacked by Tawny Peaks, a 38-year-old exotic dancer and actress hired to perform at the party. According to the Florida man, Tawny approached him and slammed her oversized breasts into his face, knocking him out and giving him whiplash.

Tawny Peaks found here

“I was literally seeing stars,” said Shimkonis.”The best way to describe it is like a concrete block hitting me in the forehead.” Shimkonis filed suit in Pinellas County Court on June 30, seeking more than 15,000 U.S.dollars in damages from the Diamond Dolls club.

image of stars found here

According to the suit, Shimkonis suffered head, neck and other injuries that caused bodily harm, pain, suffering, disfigurement, mental anguish and loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life.

neck air cushion found here

The parties accepted binding arbitration on “The People’s Court” television show and the judge, former New York City Mayor Ed Koch, ordered a female bailiff to examine Peaks in private.

wearable breast examination model found here

The bailiff found the breasts to be “soft” and to weigh about 2 pounds (0.9 kg) each. Koch ruled they were not dangerous and refused to award damages.

By  2005, Tawny had shed her oversized implants and put one of them up for auction on ebay.

“Why not … I don’t need it any more. Somebody might bid on it. It’s like the first boob to be sued in a lawsuit,” she said. Peaks said she would autograph the auctioned implant for the winner but would keep its mate “for good measure.”

She explained that she had her size 69-HH implants removed and underwent breast reduction surgery in 1999 after retiring from the business to start a new life. “They were like really big, crazy big,” said Peaks, who described herself now as a mother of three and happily married homemaker.

image found here

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48 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Most guys would just be happy for the opportunity, you know? What an ingrate.

    • Ingrate, yes. And headline seeker?

      • All that and more

  2. those do look like weapons by the way and i never knew you could auction off breast implants :p

    • No doubt there are a lot of things that one would never expect to see auctioned off

  3. Paul Shimkonis is an anagram of Anus Hi Milksop – that seems somehow appropriate but I don’t quite know why.

    • Milksop. Ha ha… He sure sounds like one.

  4. 69HH. Don’t know about 69, but HH is sure mind boggling. I think I’d end up looking at them (although it’s rude to stare) all the time

    • Yes, they certainly sound eye catching 🙂

  5. I remember this case from an article in the Fortean Times. Footballers hang up their boots when they retire; Tawny hung up her boobs!

    • I didn’t know it had been in the Fortean Times. I found it on an old Smoking Gun site

  6. So did anyone buy the boob? What a great idea to put it on ebay.

    • But what would you do with it?

  7. I shoulda became a bailiff. The airport security guards have these job “perks” as well. I’m not a melon man. I think apples are just perfect.

    • i like medium ski slopes

  8. Anyone clobbered with four pounds worth of 69HH breasts would surely be a little discomoded, though claiming disfigurement, mental anguish and reduced enjoyment of life is going it a bit. Slightly bruised and taken aback perhaps. Cheeky young scamp.

    • Discommoded is a lovely word and used far too seldom. I’m going to drop it into a sentence today

  9. Imagine the damage Twin Peaks could cause if she turned round too quickly in a crowded lift.

  10. So, what do you do with an autographed size HH used breast implant you’ve bought from ebay? You could use it as a paperweight, or maybe hollow it out and turn it into a snow globe, but I’m not sure it would be rigid enough for either of those applications.

    • I imagine it would be a lot more useful as a pair.

  11. you could say he was a right tithead great story and quite funny xjen

    • Tithead! Yep, that’s perfect

  12. You’re always just too funny.

    • Why thank you George.

  13. i had a pound of flesh removed from each breast with my reduction. never thought to auction it off – although some of my friends were trying to find a box of “Breast Meat Helper” to make a casserole…

  14. TA – the good lady simply did her job! Some are never to be pleased …

  15. I’ve never been a big breast man. I think they remind me too much of my big Italian mama. Nothing sexual about that!

    I always thought Ed Koch was a pretty dignified guy. How’d he get tangled up in this mess?

  16. Who brings brings a suit like that?
    What a boob.

  17. I laughed so many times during this post I think I might have non implant-related whiplash.

  18. She probably gave herself whiplash walking in those things

  19. Loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life? Usually when I have a brush with boobs, my enjoyment of life skyrockets.

  20. What a wimp

  21. Knocked out by knockers…what a way to go

  22. Love the night sky picture!!!!

    • Me too nicole. I’m glad you commented on it.

  23. 69-HH??? Don’t care what the judge ruled – those were weapons!

  24. They weighed them?

    • I wouldn’t mind a job like that one,
      hey what am I saying? I mean a job
      exactly like that one 🙂 😉 lmao


  25. I shouldn’t come here when I have things to do. This site is the biggest diversion activity place I know…and then your articles haunt me for days…, ha, ha.

    • My mission statement is working 😉

  26. What a wimplash, or just wimp for short 😉 lol
    Anyone else would have grinned and bared it 😉

    This is a great posting Nursey Myra 🙂 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

  27. I have never found boobs (whether natural or augmented) to be anything other than the only part of anatomy that makes half a case for ‘intelligent design’. I mean what’s not to like?

    The King

    • But what’s your preference Your Majesty – the four boob cuddle, bottoms galore or a two hour back scratch?

  28. Huh, always thought you had to turn your breasts in when you gave up stripping… learn something new every day.

    • that’s what the Gimcrack is for….. 😉

  29. According to the link, Tawny got $71 for the implant on eBay. I expect it went into a medico/legal collection somewhere along with other body parts featured in judicial hearings.
    (Incidentally, this is one of the top ten posts, IMO, on the Hospital.)

  30. I don’t know… HH? I bet I could hurt someone with that.

    … not that I’d try, or anything.

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