the wisdom of wearing balloons

Prior to reading the Smoking Gun, the only Norman Wisdom I knew of was the British comedian and actor who played a character called “The Gump”.  He seemed a nice enough fellow, he was immensely popular in Albania and Queen Elizabeth knighted him in 2000. No scandalous behaviour on record unless you count an attempt to convince the Inland Revenue that they didn’t deserve a share of his money.

Norman Wisdom found here

But Norman Wisdom of Missouri, USA, is a different kettle of fish according to this police report…

“At approximately 16:07 hours I was on patrol, stopped at a westbound red light on Highway 24. I observed a female eastbound, also stopped at the light. She was waving frantically at me so I pulled my patrol car in front of her vehicle to make contact. 

image found here

She pointed at the vehicle next to her, which was occupied by a white male. The female advised that the male subject had been following her and rubbing himself. I requested both parties to pull over into a nearby parking lot.

As I was pulling in behind the male subject’s pickup, I observed that he removed two balloons from underneath his shirt. He then removed a white bra which I later recovered behind a dumpster. I also recovered the balloons as well.  I told the subject several times to put his hands on the truck and when he refused I placed him in handcuffs. I identified the male subject as Norman Wisdom.

image found here

The female subject advised that prior to me stopping her, Mr Wisdom had been following her on Highway 24 for several miles. She said that he continued to drive next to her and would pull up beside her at stop lights. Every time she looked at him he would lift his shirt and expose a bra filled with balloons that he was wearing. She said that he would massage the bra and would then raise his crotch and rub it through his jeans.

I wonder if this sort of behaviour would go down well in Albania…..

more great Albanian images here

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56 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. “Every time she looked at him…”
    I wouldn’t have given him the satisfaction of another look after the first one!

    • I don’t think she could quite believe her eyes

  2. Oh, the world is full of the very strange. Nothing has to be made up because reality is better than fiction. What would make a person think that balloon stuffing would turn someone else on?

    • there’s someone for everyone….

  3. Obviously he had a fetish for wearing
    bras and feeling balloons, probably one
    of those balloon manipulating morons
    with an IQ of a Farting Goat 🙂 lmao

    Those perverts are
    everywhere these days…

    Androgoth Xx

    • What is the IQ of a farting goat?

      • Somewhere between a Badgers
        cough and a Weasels belch 🙂 lol

      • haha

      • 🙂 🙂

  4. Sounds about right.
    And he was probably texting with the other hand, too.

  5. It was in Missouri, the “Show Me” state…. Show me balloons! Show me suggestive rubbing!

    I too was interested by the fact that after the first incident, the lady kept looking back at the guy. Eyes forward! Stay at attention! But perhaps there was an irresistible fascination — “WEre thos really balloons? Why would anyone wear a bra if they didn’t have to? Is he really doing what I thought I saw him doing?”

    And was she REALLY a Missouri woman? A true Ozarkian hillbilly would have hauled her pistol out of her purse and shot his tires out so she could drive visually unmolested.

    And was that REALLY a Missouri policeman? He responded to this cell phone complaint? Didn’t he have an active meth lab to bust, or a joy riding teenager to pull over and harrass?

    Ah, this post gives me a lot to think about.

    • I believe there are some gun-totin’ types in those parts who like to shoot balloons…

  6. Mr Grimsdale would not be pleased

  7. norman must get around….same thing happened to me yesterday.

    • and what state were you in at the time? 🙂

  8. I think yellow balloons are particularly HOT

    • I have no idea how to reply to that

  9. I can assure you that he’d be roadkill in Albania – and afterwards would get a ticket for littering.

    • would you recommend Albania as a holiday destination?

      • Definitely YES! Great hospitality, very interesting landscape. Only some days ago I read a large article about hiking in the Northern area of the country, what admittedly is a bit dangerous, because the aboriginals do not go into these mountains. So if you fall down the ravine, that’s it.
        Interesting history too, especially when one has a knack for the history of the Balcans, Österreich-Ungarn and the Osman Empire. Smuggling btw is an honest profession, nothing to be sneering at. The coastal regions are more touristically developed. Generally a lot to discover, from antique monuments to 20th century fortresses.

      • In what way is smuggling an honourable profession ?

      • I am not quite sure how to understand our question, Nurse Myra. Smuggling in some parts of the Balcans is still today seen as a normal profession. Tabac, sugar, money. The same attitude towards this trade could have been found in the area between Bavaria and Bohemia until the inter-war-period., France and Spain etc.

  10. Once again, where do you find this stuff? It’s like crack cocaine for my blogging brain.

    • this story came from The Smoking Gun

  11. very entertaining norman wisdom loved the camera but didnt know he loved rubber hmm lol xjen

    • I don’t think these two Normans had much in common

  12. Nurse Myra you’ve been tagged!

    For the rules to this most interesting game check out the link.

  13. If this had happened in Albania she would have invoked a blood feud and Norman would have been dealt with by teatime…

    • Interesting link. thanks Nick

  14. Well, that was weird!

  15. Judging from what they do to drunk drivers on the first offense (execute them), I doubt that would go down well in Albania!

    • They do what?!?!?

      • Nownow, a bit exaggerated. It’s only public flogging.

      • *phew*

  16. and she had a problem with this ?

  17. Triumph Lingerie used to sponsor a hot air balloon with the appropriate registration, G-OBRA. Probably quite a few aeronautical anoraks rubbed one off at the sight of it……

  18. Sounds like a closet transvestite to me. Why else would he want to wear balloon-filled bras? The woman should have advised him to stop bothering her and put on a nice pretty frock and heels….

  19. Hmm I think the Albanians would prefer the unfunny Wisdom to the pervy one!

  20. I am just calling by to wish you a very happy
    and excitingly wicked weekend Nursey Myra 🙂 😉

    Androgoth XXx

    • Same to you Androgoth!

  21. helium balloons? they lift AND separate…

  22. She must have been pretty fascinated to keep looking at Norman each time they stopped.

  23. Ah, yes. My state. Whenever we make the scene on a national (or international) level, it’s always for something freakin’ strange or hideously stupid. 🙂

  24. Fully, fully bizarre. But loved it!

    • The Smoking Gun site is full of bizarre stuff

  25. Weird, definitely not wonderful, Wisdom – I’d hate to be a policeman, having to deal with creeps like this on a daily basis

    • i would think you’d get used to it. At least your tolerance levels would be different to people with less “exciting” jobs

  26. What the WHAT???
    This is exactly why I should have been a police officer….

  27. I can’t imagine that kind of behaviour goes down well ANYWHERE (though somehow – lucky us! – it tends to happen EVERYWHERE, regardless :))

  28. Too funny. Giving her the gift of balloons after his behaviour certainly wouldn’t go down well in light of recent events!

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