sexciting and sexsational

Paul Raymond, publisher and property tycoon for more than 50 years, made his fortune by bringing pornography out of the back streets and turning it into an acceptable — or at least accepted — part of British life.

Paul Raymond found here

Born Geoffrey Anthony Quinn in 1925, he left school at 15 and worked as an office boy for the Manchester Ship Canal Company. Determined to get into showbusiness he bought a mind-reading act from the clown Ravel for £25 and got his first break appearing in a variety show on Clacton pier in 1947.

NOT this Anthony Quinn (the actor aged 13 found here)

Soon he was putting on strip shows with his then wife, Jean, a stripper and choreographer. That was, of course, after fathering a son with a woman who earned her living by selling horoscopes and riding the handlebars of a motorbike as it circled the Wall of Death.

Wall of Death found here

With the profits he opened the Raymond Revue Bar in 1957 as a private members club and presented lavish, colourful stage shows that included both male and female nudity — a type of entertainment then unknown in Britain. In its heyday the streets outside the club were packed with Jaguars and limousines and its patrons included top businessmen as well as gangsters such as the Kray brothers and the Richardsons. The club’s “padre”, Canon Edward Young, later became chaplain to the Queen Mother

The Queen Mother on her wedding day found here

Advertised as “Sexciting” or “Sexsational”, his shows had titles like Hot from Harlem, or “See the taunting, scantily clad Native Mating Dance”. One girl, Miss Snake-Hips, did an act with a boa constrictor. She had to be rescued from near-death once by Raymond, and a local ex-boxer he found next door, when the snake started squeezing.

image found here

Having tracked down an animal trainer who had once taught a lion to wear spectacles, Raymond asked him to find a horse that could be trained to undress one of his strippers. When Beauty started work, he had to be followed with a bucket as he was taken into the theatre. At the end of the routine the lady he undressed had to climb carefully on to his back because there was barely enough headroom for her to ride off.

Nude on Horse by Mark Seliger found here

Such immodesty attracted the attention of the police, who were obliged to spend much time on the premises; in its early years the Revuebar was raided several times, and in 1961 Raymond was fined £5,000 after a magistrate decided that allowing members of the audience to ring the Ding Dong Girl’s bells constituted an unruly house — and that, furthermore, Julia Mendez should not have swallowed the snake in public.

image found here

He became a familiar figure around Soho, with his long black fur coat draped round his shoulders, gold bracelet engraved with his initials, diamond and gold pendant worn over his tie, and a scrape-over hairdo. It was sufficiently long at the back to form a “valance around his neck“. He remained a louche and unhealthy man of vulgar tastes, though he wore good suits. Tall, with an artificial tan that mummified his skin like cracked toffee, a mane of hair like brittle silver lamé and a smear of moustache, he latterly evoked Dracula lurking in the guise of an Oxford Street spiv.

image found here

In the early 1970s Raymond launched Men Only and Club International, two porn magazines with a quota of factual and lifestyle articles. Although spurned by the main distributors, their glossy appearances enabled him to sell them through small, local newsagents. The “top-shelf” magazine was born.

image found here

Beset by court cases, in which Lord Longford always played a star part, and usually involving judges who would say things like “And what, exactly, is a G-string?“, Raymond somehow managed to stay afloat and prosper. He took full advantage of falling property prices, buying up Soho by the street. By 1980 he owned 60 of its 87 acres. The entrepreneur became, at one point, Britain’s richest man.

Sadly, in later life he became pretty much a recluse and died alone. Read more of the fascinating story of the “Captain of Skindustry” in the book Members Only: The Life and Times of Paul Raymond by Paul Willetts. 

3 jacks and the prestidigitator

lone hand

At the beginning of the 20th century professional boxers were allowed to strip to the waist but women spectators were excluded from watching. When the 1908 World Heavyweight Title was fought at Sydney Stadium, the wife of novelist Jack London, Charmian Kittredge, disguised herself in men’s clothing and snuck in.


image of Charmian found here

From Jack London’s wikipedia page:

Finding that the prim and genteel lady was lustful and sexually vigorous in private was like discovering a secret treasure;” and according to Kershaw —”At last, here was a woman who adored fornication, expected Jack to make her climax, and to do so frequently.

jack and charmian

image of Jack and Charmian found here

The contenders she snuck in to see were Jack Johnson, the first black world champion and Tommy Burns. The promoter Hugh McIntosh wrote “When the claret begins flowing, prizefighting is no place for the gentler sex”

jack johnson

Jack Johnson knew the effect he had on women and exploited it fully. There were rumours that he padded his tights and he created a scandal by inviting female admirers to visit him in his room at Watson’s Bay Hotel. According to folklore they formed an orderly queue.

There is no evidence Charmian was part of that queue. After Jack London’s death, however, she continued her lustful ways with several other lucky men, including Harry Houdini whom she called her “Magic Man”.


image of Houdini and Jack Dempsey found here

Published in: on August 29, 2009 at 7:58 am  Comments (45)  

hey shortarse

the people at promise to make you taller without popping pills or worrying about side effects. all you have to do is slip one of their reflexology insoles inside your shoe

Kimi Height Increaser can enhance the thickening of the cartillage at the knee joint areas so that you may grow taller and have height increase. Thus the application of KIMI™ helps you lose fat, gain muscles, grow bigger, stronger, and taller all at the same time

these people make elevator shoes or “height enhancing footwear”. and they say that Kimi and her sister product Yoko are both scams. false claims in advertising are nothing new. but would you buy a product from someone called Dr Minges? or is it only in australia that minge means pussy?

some people still believe you can achieve more height by stretching exercises but there is no proof of this, no matter what method is used

for the vertically challenged, there are sites that give advice on sexual positions when one partner is short and the other tall.

Spoon position
Straight Version: While you’re lying behind her, you can slip your penis inside her and enjoy a soft, smooth motion of penetration while her back’s to you. Your body doesn’t have to be pressed up against hers; you can opt to form yourselves in a Y position instead.

Gay Version: Both partners lying on their sides means you can focus on the sensations of a gliding penetration without distraction. To avoid hot breath on the back if the top is significantly shorter, you can opt to form a Y position.

I’m impressed with the writer’s political correctness, especially as he says his 12 year marriage provided the inspiration for this article….. guess his wife’s hot breath on his back was not a problem……


Published in: on October 29, 2008 at 8:14 am  Comments (28)  

the girl with colitis goes by *

nursemyra’s nickname is Dr. Know. I earned it because I know every nook and cranny of the gimcrack and can name all 126 patients and their various ailments. that’s only the tip of the iceberg. my brain is full of shit interesting stuff and if I’m asked a work related question am rarely lost for an answer.

though I was momentarily speechless today when a colleague said “I always come to you when I need something done. you’re such a suppository of information.”


want to play a little game? leave ONE example of either a mondegreen or a malapropism in the comments section and the best one gets a fridge magnet from the australian national continence helpline (I know you want one)

* mondegreen

Published in: on February 13, 2008 at 6:57 am  Comments (35)  


nursemyra likes to spread the word that using condoms is a good thing. not just because of HIV but also because syphilis is on the rise again. I’ve frightened informed my readers before by showing pictures of chancres and the like so I won’t do the scary thing this time. we’ll disguise it as a history lesson instead


dear old dr diemer guaranteed a cure for only $1.00. there was so much demand for his snakeoil miracle medicine that he could afford to limit his practice to venereal diseases. it’s interesting that he chose an image of a cock fight to promote his product.

david nicholson has a different view of a cockfight.


 but back to another kind of fight, those of our soldiers in WW2. the good ol US of A army issued all its soldiers with prophylactic kits in case they ignored the advice of their sex hygiene pamphlets and enjoyed the company of loose women


and what would a nursemyra tutorial be without a reference to bosoms?


so take the nurse’s advice. go forth and spread the love. but always take precautions. because syphilis leads to insanity and you don’t want to end up in the gimcrack do you…..




Published in: on January 1, 2008 at 8:05 am  Comments (18)  



Published in: on December 4, 2007 at 7:04 am  Comments (16)  

the nursery of masturbation

again, from Searchlights on Health:


3. Rioting in Visions.—Dr. Lewis says: “Rioting in visions of nude women may exhaust one as much as an excess in actual intercourse. There are multitudes who would never spend the night with an abandoned female, but who rarely meet a young girl that their imaginations are not busy with her person. This species of indulgence is well-nigh universal; and it is the source of all other forms—the fountain from which the external vices spring, and the nursery of masturbation.”


 working at the gimcrack gives nursemyra more opportunity than most to observe graduates from the nursery of masturbation exhausting themselves while rioting in visions. it’s sad but true – many geriatrics are still obsessed with sex though their output doesn’t fountain so much as dribble when they’re in their 80s.

that’s why I spend so much time researching toys to enhance my patients’ lives. this one seems promising though I am a little concerned it may be too powerful for those with a pacemaker. apparently it can thrust at a rate of 3-5 times per second. It does have the added advantage of being cleanable so you won’t need to purchase additional wank cups every time you get off. I’m sure that’s a consolation.



Published in: on October 4, 2007 at 11:36 am  Comments (15)  

she’s at it again

that naughty japanese nurse just can’t get enough of the armed forces


Published in: on August 19, 2007 at 12:40 am  Comments (9)  

nurse myra’s dilemma

it’s not often I divulge personal details, unless posting pictures of my nipple piercing on casual fridays counts…..

sometime in the last ten days I appear to have done some back damage and despite two treatments from the gimcrack’s physiotherapist and taking it easy over the last week it doesn’t seem to be improving.

so I’ve tried washing down my medications with red wine and applying a liberal amount of anti inflammatory cream at frequent intervals but pain remains my constant companion.

tomorrow I am supposed to be attending a course in palliative care with an 8.30 am start at a location one hour’s drive from nursemyra’s bed. I hope I can make it because the war on geriatric afflictions is a never ending battle


Published in: on August 8, 2007 at 10:29 am  Comments (16)  

floating action


Published in: on July 22, 2007 at 7:34 am  Comments (21)