mars bar sandwiches

Colin Tennant, Lord Glenconner, celebrated his 60th birthday in grand style. He chartered a 440 foot four masted sailing vessel and had 130 of his nearest and dearest installed in its 75 state rooms for a week long cruise from Santa Lucia to Martinique and Mustique.

Lord Glenconner found here

The guests were hermetically sealed in the elegant confines of the vessel, where they swam in the pool, gambled in the casino, worked out in the gym, drank at the bar, danced in the disco and watched a selection of 58 pornographic videos. 

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On the night of the party, wearing a gold crown and a rope of pearls, Lord Glenconner was dressed in white magnificence, his robes encrusted in gold embroidery. Handsome, almost nude black males, with their private parts encased in coconut shells painted gold, lined the pink carpeted walkway to the house.

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There were princesses galore at the party, Princess Margaret, two of the Lowenstein princesses and Princess Tina who provided cabaret entertainment. She performed gymnastic gyrations while she balanced full glasses of champagne on her head and pelvic area. A heavily wined English lady sat in the reflecting pool in front of the pleasure palace and pulled up her skirts to the refreshing waters. “My god, look at her – she’s showing her bush!” another lady cried out.

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After Margaret’s marriage to Lord Snowdon on 6 May 1960, the couple honeymooned in the Caribbean; Glenconner made them a wedding present of 10 acres of land on Mustique. She went out twice a year, in February and late autumn, presiding over a social set which sometimes lurched into loucheness, with characters such as the East End-criminal-turned-actor John Bindon. However, Glenconner denied that Bindon had produced his prodigious manhood for royal eyes; the flashing was done to one of her ladies-in-waiting, who merely commented, “I’ve seen bigger

John Bindon found here

Early in the 1980s, Tennant paid around £200,000 for Jalousie Plantation, 488 acres of virgin rainforest in St Lucia. He sold half the land to a holiday resort developer, while he, next door, opened a restaurant he called Bang Between the Pitons because potential clients always had to ask where it was and were told: “It’s bang between the Pitons [two volcanic peaks].” He had a seaside shack with one bedroom containing a solid silver four-poster bed. One commentator wrote that Bang Between the Pitons was the only place in the world where you could find Princess Margaret and a member of Led Zeppelin eating bananas and Mars Bar sandwiches.

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In a last wilful act, committed just before he left his adopted home of St Lucia to return to Scotland for a brief visit, the beady old reprobate cut his family out of his will — and left everything to his faithful manservant, Kent Adonai. As one mesmerised critic noted: “Lord Glenconner was the Basil Fawlty of the aristocracy.”

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riding this one out

Most people know by now that Van Halen’s infamous “No brown M & Ms” stipulation in their rider was a way of checking that the promoter had taken note of safety requirements for their equipment. But there are still plenty of whimsical demands being made by other performers such as these ones tracked down by Danny Canak.

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Iggy Pop once made a bizarre request for seven dwarves. To top it off, he also demanded American Spirit cigarettes (which he doesn’t smoke) and broccoli (which he hates). Questioned about this request, his response was that he wanted the broccoli so he could throw it in the bin – obviously to express his hatred for it. It’s anyone’s guess as to why he wanted the dwarves.

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The diva award goes to Mariah “doesn’t do stairs” Carey. Some of her demands have included bunny rabbits, puppies, and kittens to keep her company backstage, Cristal champagne and a box of bendy straws to sip it with. She’s picky about the kind of water that may be kept in the dressing rooms. The rider states, “16-oz bottles of Evian are the only acceptable bottles of water.” There are many fascinating stories involving this diva. Once during a tour of China, she apparently needed four vehicles to carry her sixty pieces of luggage – including the 350 pairs of shoes that she brought with her. Another time she sent 20 assistants to redecorate the toilets in a music store before an album signing to ensure the toilet paper was in her preferred shade of pink.

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Other memorable requests include: a monkey for the Bloodhound Gang, Flintstone vitamins for Christina Aguilera, “fresh ears of corn on the cob: cooked 3 minutes only” for Aerosmith, and a sea of alcohol for Queens Of The Stone Age. Then there’s the large supply of napkins for P Diddy with his name printed on all of them, corn starch for Nine Inch Nails, toilet seat covers for Live, two female dancers for “Weird Al” Yankovic to swivel with, and underwear for Moby and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Even Modest Mouse ask for socks to be purchased for them as they “don’t do laundry” and throw them all out.

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Britney Spears demands a private phone line in her dressing room for outgoing calls only and fines the promoter $5,000 for any unauthorised incoming calls. Hellbilly rocker Hank III has obviously taken a leaf out of the Van Halen book with his demands which include a monkey, a half-gallon of milk, cereal, Oreos, Lunchables, squeezable mustard and ketchup, and a great white shark. Limp Bizkit make a point about the lights in their dressing room having to be “dimmable” while the Beastie Boys demand mountains of condoms in assorted rainbow colours.

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More riders found in Stuart Coupe’s book “The Promoters” include Sir Paul McCartney’s wine request which stipulate the vintage, order of service and temperature of his favourite tipple. The band Yes ordered six dozen cream pies for food fights backstage. The Police wanted a quality ping-pong table with spare paddles and balls of superior quality. Elton John demands large flower arrangements but NO chrysanthemums, lilies, carnations or daisies.

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Slick 57 supplied Stuart with this rider:

2 cases of beer, 1 growler of chilled Tuaca, 6 burritos, 3 packs of Camel Light, 6 bottles of spring water, 1 each of the latest Maxim, Playboy, Blender, High Times and Rolling Stone, 1 pre-hung pinata with 120 ‘Truckers Love It’ brand ephedrine pills, 1 box 12 gauge shotgun shells, 1 full length mirror, 1 gross of 18 years+ local girls to hang out with (model types preferred), 2 couches and 1 big screen tv.

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Stuart did get them the 2 cases of beer……..

Published in: on October 13, 2010 at 7:15 am  Comments (50)  
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