a night in ER

When you’ve just returned from an overseas jaunt and are suffering with jet lag, there are better places to spend a night than the¬†casualty¬†department of the nearest hospital. But when your adult son is crying with pain and making serious inroads into your emergency stash of legally prescribed opiates then you don’t really have a choice.

Things improved once those opiates kicked in. Perhaps I was a little over zealous when I was dispensing them but there were certainly some laughs to be had when we both caught each other admiring the same male triage nurse. I guess my son’s gaydar is better than mine but I could have sworn that wink was aimed at me.

image found here

Australia has a fantastic health care system, we only had to wait a couple of hours and a decision was made to admit J for the night. Explanations were offered before every procedure…

Doctor: “We’re going to take a swab from the back of your throat, it may make you gag slightly”

Opiate affected gay son: “Oh that’s ok, I don’t really have a gag reflex. I was lucky enough to inherit that trait from my mother.”

image found here

Doctor: “As soon as we get your temperature down we’ll move you from the acute section to QE2 Ward”

OAG son: “Well I hadn’t intended cruising tonight but if you insist. Does the triage nurse double as a purser?”


I’ve been back in to see him this morning and he’s looking a lot brighter. The canula was removed while I was there and the usual blood pressure and temperature checks were performed.

Nurse: “The treatment appears to be working, judging by these obs you’re just about normal now.”

OAG Son: “Oh no! I was perfectly happy as a homosexual!”

Then his doctor explained she would be starting him on oral antibiotics combined with Larry’s Fluids shortly.

OAG Son: “But I don’t know Larry, will we be introduced before he gives me his fluids? Wait a minute….. is Larry the triage nurse….?”

image of Larry Johnson found here

Published in: on July 5, 2010 at 6:08 am  Comments (41)  
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