spattered by the doctor’s love jet

Recently I watch The Invention of Dr Nakamats,  a very funny documentary about an 81 year old eccentric Japanese inventor. Brainsturbator wrote an article about him, excerpts from it are below….

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Yoshiro Nakamatsu is a national hero in Japan, where he’s affectionately known as “Dr. NakaMats.” He sleeps four hours a night. He maintains this demanding schedule courtesy of special food that he naturally invented himself:

“…these are snacks I’ve invented, which I eat during the day. I’ve marketed them as Yummy Nutri Brain Food. They are very helpful to the brain’s thinking process. They are a special mixture of dried shrimp, seaweed, cheese, yogurt, eel, eggs, beef, and chicken livers—all fortified with vitamins.”

Extreme Halloween Brain Food found here

There’s more than power snacking: Nakamatsu also takes regular power naps, and he’s invented a device to enhance that, too. It’s called the Cereberex chair, and according to Dr. NakaMats “it improves memory, math skills, and creativity, lowers blood pressure, improves eyesight, and cures other ailments.”

Cerebrex Chair found at Corbis Images

The following question is one he has probably been asked hundreds of times—“so, where do you get your ideas?”—and Nakamatsu has the last answer anyone but him would ever suspect:

“The base for everything is a strong spirit, followed by a strong body, hard studies, experience and finally leads to a “trigger” experience. You “trigger” a bullet which contains spirit, body, study and experience – and finally that releases the actual invention.

water balloons being pierced by a bullet found here

How do you “trigger” an invention?

A lack of oxygen is very important.

A lack? Isn’t that dangerous?

It’s very dangerous. I get that Flash just 0.5 sec before death. I remain under water until this trigger comes up and I write it down with a special waterproof plexiglas writing pad I invented.

Dr Nakamats writing underwater found here

Do you do that a lot? Put yourself in that kind of situation to come up with a new invention?

Of course. This is the Dr. Nakamatsu method.

Nakamatsu has more than a few inventions which will probably never get the attention and investment they deserve, not least of which is the Nostradamvs II Engine, which “can run with just water, so there is no pollution at all.” Coming never to a car dealership near you!

The Nakamatsu water engine is a curious little rabbit hole. It’s also been patented under the name Enerex, and a search for that yields paranoid gems like this one:

NO SCIENCE BACKGROUND IS NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND THE ABSOLULTELY OBVIOUS REALITY OF THE WATER POWERED ENGINE invented by the greatest inventor alive today (Dr. Nakamatsu) who is thoroughly documented! Doesn’t it seem at least a little SUSPICIOUS that a scientist as great as Dr. Nakamatsu is practically unknown in America?

water powered Aston Martin found here

There’s no disputing that when Nakamatsu makes claims about being a great inventor, the numbers back him up. Thomas Edison, the most prolific inventor in US history, died with 1,093 patents. Nakamatsu, as of 2003, had 3,128.

“Love Jet is a spray-type health enhancer spattered directly across the private parts and works to combat male impotency,” Nakamatsu tells Spa! during an interview for its feature on Japan’s boki business – the booming trade to keep men erect. ”Viagra is a chemically based pharmaceutical aimed to help people with an illness, but Love Jet was created through my ideas about sex using all natural materials with no side-effects. And, unlike most other anti-impotency treatments, it’s not a pill, but a spray, allowing it to work immediately. It improves sexual response by three times among men and women.”

Korean Viagra advertisement found here

“DHEA levels markedly drop at around 25 years old, but a spray of Love Jet increases levels by three times. It doesn’t just work on erections, but also slows down the aging process.”

Love Jet is a beautiful window into the weirdness of Dr. NakaMats. You see, a single bottle of Love Jet costs 30,000 Yen, which translates to a little under $250. However, manufacturing a single bottle of Love Jet costs over 80,000 Yen, which translates to a loss of over $400 per bottle.

“…Love Jet is not about money. Japan’s biggest problem is not this economic slump we’re in now, but the low birthrate. GDP growth relates closely to population. In 50 years time, we’ll be looking at a country half as strong as it is now. I want to save Japan from a crisis, so Love Jet is a labor of love.”

“Japan Crisis” artwork found here

the romance of travel

Edward Wortley Montagu (1713 – 1776) was an English author and traveller.

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In spite of Mr Wortley’s incurable habit of travelling, or because of it, he was equally addicted to matrimony, though he was as much a wanderer in this activity as in any other for he married, first a washerwoman, and then, bigamously, Caroline Dormer.

washerwoman found here

Nor did his thirst for domesticity content itself with these two ladies, for he deserted Miss Dormer for a Nubian girl, and, as well, eloped with Miss Ashe. His death took place at Padua in 1776, and he no doubt left several inconsolable widows.

Nubian mummy found at this fascinating site

Louis de Rougemont (1847-1941) was also a traveller, but not quite as adventurous a one as he claimed to be

Louis found here

“De Rougemont” was born Henri Louis Grin in Paris, France. He left home at the age of sixteen. He became a footman to the actress Fanny Kemble, servant to Swiss banker de Mieville in 1870 and butler for the governor of Western Australia, Sir William Robinson. In that job he lasted less than a year.

Fanny Kemble found here

He tried various ventures with very little success. He worked as a doctor, a ‘spirit photographer’ and an inventor. He also married and abandoned a wife in Australia.

spirit photography found here

In 1898 he began to write about his invented adventures in the British periodical “The Wide World Magazine” under the name Louis De Rougemont. He described his alleged exploits in search of pearls and gold in New Guinea and claimed to have spent thirty years living with Indigenous Australians in the Australian outback. He claimed that the tribe with whom he had lived had worshipped him as a god. 

Larapinta Dreaming found here

Various readers expressed disbelief in his tales from the start, for example, claiming that no one can actually ride a turtle. De Rougemont had also claimed to have seen flying wombats. The fact that he could not place his travels on the map aroused suspicion. Readers’ arguments in the pages of London newspaper, the Daily Chronicle, continued for months.

Flying Wombat found here

Rougemont said he could not specify exactly where he had been because he had signed a non-disclosure agreement with a syndicate that wanted to exploit the gold he had found in the area. He also refused to talk about Aboriginal languages he had supposedly learned. 

Then it was announced that a certain F.W. Solomon had recognized De Rougemont and identified him as Louis Grin who had presented himself at Solomon’s firm as an entrepreneur. Grin had collected tidbits for his exploits from the Reading Room of the British Library. 

more great libraries here

Grin tried to defend himself by writing a letter to The Daily Chronicle, in which he expressed his consternation that anybody would confuse him with Louis De Rougemont. The Wide World Magazine exploited the situation and prepared a Christmas double issue. Sales of both papers soared. De Rougemont himself disappeared from the public view.

In 1899 Grin travelled to South Africa as a music-hall attraction: ‘The Greatest Liar on Earth’; on a similar 1901 tour of Australia, he was booed from the stage. In July 1906 De Rougemont appeared at the London Hippodrome and successfully demonstrated his turtle-riding skills. During World War I he reappeared as an inventor of a useless meat substitute. He died a poor man in London on 9 June 1921.

turtle riding a jellyfish found here

early goggling

Guy Gilpatric (1896-1950) was a pilot and author with an overwhelming interest in diving and a particularly rigorous regime.

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“I had always lived the outdoor life when I wasn’t in the house, never drinking anything stronger than whisky except vodka and rarely smoking more than one cigarette at a time”.

One chapter in his book The Compleat Goggler was entitled thus: Garglings of a garrulous goggler, witnessing wonders, telling lies, exploring wrecks and hunting treasures.

Medusa goggles found here

“I must explain that goggle fishing doesn’t mean fishing for goggles….. it’s fishing with a spear and watertight eyeglasses. I made my first pair from an old pair of flying goggles, plugging up the ventilating holes with putty and painting over them.”

template for making WW1 aviation goggles here

Some of these early gogglers were not immune to divers’ tales. The Blanchet brothers say they wrestled an enormous groper for two hours before landing him. When they got him home, he sprang back into life, wrecked the kitchen, chased Mother Blanchet three times around the parlour and ate a framed chromo-lithograph of the battle of Austerlitz before they calmed him with an axe.

image of groper found here

Alec Kramarenko made a cast of his face so that he could mould his device to its contours. He constructed a face mask out of celluloid, dissolving photographic film in acetone and painting it layer by layer on to the cast. Then he made a lead mould into which he poured molten rubber.

learn how to mould paint splatter in photoshop here

Others took to the seas with pitchforks, ski poles and a type of  spear gun that Kramarenko invented. An English yachtsman bought two guns and employed beaters to drive mullet towards him as of they were grouse. He caught 70 fish in a day. ‘We were vastly cheered,’ Gilpatric admitted, ‘to learn that one of the gunmen had shot himself in the foot.’

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Published in: on December 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm  Comments (34)  
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son of a lion tamer

Charles Peace was the son of a one legged lion tamer.

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“Charlie taught himself to play tunes on a violin with one string, and at entertainments which he attended was described as “the modern Paganini” but his main occupation was burglary. After serving time in prison for breaking and entering he earned a living first as a picture framer and later as the proprietor of  an ‘eating-shop’ with his wife Hannah.

On 1876 he committed his first murder by shooting a policeman. A few months later he shot a neighbour with whom he had a long-running feud. A price of £100 was put on his head and a description circulated:

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Charles Peace wanted for murder. He is thin and slightly built, five feet four inches or five feet high; grey (nearly white) hair, beard and whiskers. He lacks use of three fingers of left hand, walks with his legs rather wide apart, speaks somewhat peculiarly as though his tongue were too large for his mouth, and is a great boaster.

Peace had lost one of his fingers. He said that it had been shot off by a man with whom he had quarrelled, but it was believed to be more likely that he had himself shot it off accidentally in handling one of his revolvers. It was to conceal this obvious means of identification that Peace made himself the false arm which he was in the habit of wearing. This was of gutta percha, with a hole down the middle of it into which he passed his arm; at the end was a steel plate to which was fixed a hook; by means of this hook Peace could wield a fork and do other dexterous feats.

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While on the run he met Susan Gray Adamson. With characteristic insistence Peace declared his passion for Susan by threatening to shoot her if she did not become his. Together they moved to London where he set up two houses, one to live in with his mistress while his wife and child moved into the adjoining one.

He described himself as a gentleman of means and tinkered with inventions,  patenting a machine which raised sunken vessels. At the same time he was carrying out successful burglaries on a regular basis. Just before his final capture Peace was engaged on other inventions, among them a smoke helmet for firemen, an improved brush for washing railway carriages, and a form of hydraulic tank.

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Charles was caught trying to escape from police in 1878. During his murder trial he again attempted an escape, this time from the train that was bringing him to court.

He had been making excuses to leave the carriage whenever the train stopped. To obviate this nuisance the two warders had provided little bags which Peace could use when he wished and then throw out of the window. Just after the train passed Worksop, he asked for one of the bags. When the window was lowered to allow the bag to be thrown away, he took a flying leap through it. One of the warders caught him by the left foot, leaving him hanging from the carriage for two miles while struggling to escape. At last he succeeded in kicking off his left shoe, and dropped on to the line. The train ran on another mile until the warders were able to get it stopped. They immediately hurried back, and found their prisoner lying on the footway, apparently unconscious and bleeding from a severe wound in the scalp.

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All this was to no avail as he recovered enough to be sentenced to death for the murder of his ex-neighbour. Charles had a last hearty breakfast of salty bacon and quarrelled with the preacher over his poor choice of bible readings as he led him to the gallows.

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Published in: on April 14, 2010 at 8:24 am  Comments (41)  
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like a cat around a cream jug

In 1929 Werner Forssmann*** was a surgical intern working at Auguste Victoria Home near Berlin.

image found here

“He was interested in the feats of Chaveau and Marey, who were the first to achieve measurement and recording of blood pressure from the interior of the heart of a living animal.

Marey inserted a tube into the horse’s circulatory system at the jugular vein, guiding it downward until the top, equipped with a balloon, was actually positioned inside the right ventricle. The balloon responded to the pumping action of the ventricle and sent the impulse through the catheter to a toy drum that Marey was holding near the opposite end of the tube.

Marey’s apparatus found here

With this process in mind he approached his superior for approval to try an experiment on a human using the antecubital rather than the jugular vein. When permission was refused he  decided to go ahead with the procedure by experimenting on himself.

image found here

This would involve enlisting the help of a surgical nurse and to this end he started to prowl round Nurse Gerda Ditzen like a sweet toothed cat around the cream jug. He persuaded her to be his accomplice and such was her faith in him that she wanted to be the experimentee. Agreeing that the nurse would go first, Dr Forssmann strapped her to the table as though that were a prerequisite for the procedure.

image by Karin Szekessy

He then moved behind her head, anesthetized his own arm, punctured his vein and in the space of a moment pushed the catheter down more than a good foot inside. Facing the wrath of Gerda, he untied her and she helped him to the x-ray room where he pushed it in almost to the two foot mark and took x-rays as documentary evidence.

Many years would pass before the now standard procedure of cardiac catheterisation would be fully exploited but recognition of Dr Forssmann’s pioneering work came in 1956 when he shared a Nobel Prize for Medicine and Physiology.

image of Forssmann receiving Nobel Prize found here

*** Extract from an article by Diana Berry found here

please sir I want some more

Oliver Heaviside has been described as a sad misunderstood genius.  He was a self taught mathematician, physicist, inventor and engineer. You can read about his admirable achievements here – they are way too complicated for me to explain adequately anyway.

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Like many brilliant men, he had his unorthodox side too.

His neighbours related stories of Heaviside as a strange and embittered hermit who replaced his furniture with granite blocks which stood about in the bare rooms like the furnishings of some Neolithic giant. Through those fantastic rooms he wandered, growing dirtier and dirtier, and more and more unkempt – with one exception. His nails were always exquisitely manicured, and painted a glistening cherry pink.

Mario nails found here

His diet was also rather unusual

“When I get home at 1:00 pm I put on the potatoes, then eat a first course of a slice of cake and a glass of milk. Read paper. Eat second course of potatoes and butter. Butter essential. Sometimes I have a treat. A cauliflower.”

cosmic cauliflower found here

His long suffering housekeeper, Mary Way, had a lot to put up with too. She was kept a virtual prisoner in her own home and even had to sign a contract stating she would not marry a (?expletive deleted?), would always wear warm underclothing, not go out without his permission and not give anything away without asking him first. He wrote this about her in a letter to a friend:

“The middle aged virgin has had a stroke! Pretty piece of work. But she is getting over it nicely, and I think will be fit for work again.”

Her nieces eventually took poor Mary away and Oliver began cooking for himself again

“Quite independent, and have made whatever I like for dinner. Stone broth, ditchwater soup. Made several discoveries. Parsnips cook easily. Carrots don’t.”

image found here

Other interesting aspects of his behaviour included a love of working in an overheated atmosphere (thermophilia), a great affinity with birds and the strange habit of adding the appendage W.O.R.M. to his signature.

Heaviside was not the only genius who formed a deep attachment to a feathered friend. Nikola Tesla even developed his own special feed

recipe found here

Tesla had been feeding pigeons for years. Among them, there was a very beautiful female white pigeon with light gray tips on its wings that seemed to follow him everywhere. A great deal of rapport developed between them. As Tesla confessed, he loved that pigeon: “Yes, I loved that pigeon, I loved her as a man loves a woman, and she loved me.” If the pigeon became ill, he would nurse her back to health and as long as she needed him and he could have her, nothing else mattered and there was purpose in his life.

Published in: on February 2, 2010 at 7:33 am  Comments (47)  
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pidgin english

JapaneseSubway

Back in the days of silent movies, inventor Charles Pidgin patented a breakthrough way to simulate speech on screen. This invention provided for each character to inflate, at the appropriate moment, a balloon carrying the words to be spoken.

body odour

“the words constituting the speech of the actors or characters are placed on balloons of oblong shape adapted to be inflated to a relatively large size and normally occupying a comparatively small space with the words entirely visible… the blowing or inflation of the devices by the various characters of a photo-play will add to the realism of the picture by the words appearing to come from the mouths of the players. “

out talk

Pidgin didn’t think to provide instructions about how each actor would manipulate multiple balloons during lengthy conversations. But his patent was actually approved in 1917 so someone must have thought it had merit.

Inflatable-latex-hood-s

Another inventive star of the silent movie era was the beautiful “Biograph Girl”  Florence Lawrence.

florence lawrence

During her lifetime, Lawrence appeared in more than 270 films for various motion picture companies. Nicknamed “The Girl of a Thousand Faces”, at the height of her career, she was earning a great deal of money and could afford an automobile, something that at the time was still a luxury for most people. Born with a curious mind, she invented the first turn signal, a device attached to a motor vehicle’s rear fender. Dubbed as the “auto signaling arm”, when a driver pressed a button, an arm raised or lowered, with a sign attached indicating the direction of the intended turn. Following this, she developed a brake signal based on the same concept where an arm with a sign reading “STOP” was raised up whenever the driver stepped on the brake pedal. However, Ms. Lawrence’s inventions were not patented, and others in the rapidly expanding auto industry developed their own versions.

nurse-sign2

Carl Laemmle from Universal Pictures started a rumor that Florence had been killed by a street car in New York City. After gaining the attention of the media, he placed ads in newspapers that included a photo of Ms. Lawrence, declaring she was alive and well. This early example of the celebrity machine at work was a very successful publicity stunt to attract attention for her upcoming film. Her official cause of death in 1938 was by the ingestion of ant paste mixed with cough syrup.

insurance


Published in: on October 20, 2009 at 7:31 am  Comments (29)  
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heady business

Stanley Lovell worked in the Office of Strategic Services during the Second World War

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“Another device we made for intelligence agents originated when a spy told me he was nearly trapped in the Adlon Hotel in Berlin.

“I would have given anything'” he said, “if I could have created a panic in that lobby.”

AbramsScienceInvention001

My answer to the spy’s suggestion was “Hedy.” Hedy was a simple firecracker device which, when you pulled a small wire loop, simulated the screeching Doppler effect of a falling Nazi bomb and then ended in a deafening roar but all completely harmless. By activating Hedy the agent could have a chance to escape in the turmoil he had created. It was named after Hedy Lamarr, because my lusty young officers said she created panic wherever she went.

Hedy-Lamarr

Equally simple was the explosive candle. Pretend you know a French girl who has access to a German officer’s study or bedroom. Give her your candle to replace the half-consumed one already there. It will burn perfectly until the flame touches the high explosive composing the lower two-thirds of the candle. Since the wick extends into a detonator and the latter is embedded in the explosive, the burst is as effective as any hand grenade.

suzette

Women’s accessories offered a wide source of concealment. It is easy to melt a lipstick, pour the molten wax around the message tube and recast it in its original shape. All containers for the female form divine become themselves available as concealment areas. Steels in corsets and foundation garments can be deadly stilettos provided they don’t work loose and stab the operator in a critical area. We are, as it happens, considering a still sensitive area of activity in camouflage, so the reader’s imagination will have to supply the devices omitted from this recitation.

happiness

My favorite attack on Adolf Hitler was a glandular approach. America’s top diagnosticians and gland experts agreed with me that he was definitely close to the male-female line. His poor emotional control, his violent passions, his selection of companions like Roehm, all led me to feel that a push to the female side might do wonders. The hope was that his moustache would fall off and his voice become soprano.

facial hair

Hitler was a vegetarian. At Berchtesgaden, the vegetable garden that supplied his melodramatic Eagle’s Nest on the rocky peak had to have gardeners. A plan to get an O.S.S. man there, or an anti-Nazi workman, was approved. I supplied female sex hormones and, just for variety’s sake, now and then a carbamate or other quietus medication, all to be injected into der Fiihrer’s carrots, beets or whatever went up to his larder.

Since he survived, I can only assume that the gardener took our money and threw the syringes and medications into the nearest thicket. Either that or Hitler had a big turnover in his “tasters”

PillMan


Published in: on October 11, 2009 at 9:11 am  Comments (21)  
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