his name is Unilson and he comes from the planet Vanfim

Silvio Berlusconi has his own private fortune teller and her name is Teodora

image found here

She foretold that he would become prime minister, to which he replied that if her predictions came true, he’d guarantee her TV appearances—and riches—for life. Recently, Teodora was kind enough to consent to an interview with Vice Magazine, which must have been boring since she presumably knew what would be asked beforehand.

Vice magazine cover found here

VICE: Tell us how your psychic career started.

“In 1984 I was in a car accident, which put me in a coma for 14 days. When I came around, I had these strange feelings. I thought I was going insane. Hearing the voice in my head for the first time, I refused to accept it was real. In communist times it was very difficult to share such bizarre experiences.

more communist construction images found here

VICE: So who, exactly, is the entity behind the omnipotent voice that is broadcast inside your head?

His name is Unilson, and he comes from the planet Vanfim. What he told me is that everything around us is energy, which contains information about all that exists, much like a giant computer. All you need is the key: a name and birth date. The key allows you to look into the past and the present, and therefore the future.

image found here

VICE: Did Unilson tell you about the origin of this world, of human beings?

Both us and them are God’s creatures, and the extraterrestrials made the robot.

VICE: Is it likely that your alien friends may wish to pay us a visit anytime soon?

They’re already here, they’re the energy making contact with us. But we are not ready yet. They don’t want tot scare us; they just want to help us lead a more earthly and natural life. The indigo and crystal children who have been coming into the world recently are prepared to make contact with them.

VICE: Will the world be ending soon?

2012 will not be the end of the world. However, the system will change and  provide answers to a number of important questions that have been piquing the human mind. For instance, the euro will continue to decline, and by 2016 there will be a new European currency. Germany will embark on a new path and establish its own currency. Italy will be revived and prosper once more. Turkey will become the leader of the Islamic world. China has been trying to see how the land lies before it starts to expand.

polluted land in China found here

VICE: How about the USA?

America is still the top power, but China is claiming the position. There will be  turmoil over some countries’ debts, but the future belongs to the Asian race. America will clash with Iran in an Israel-inspired conflict. Chemical and nuclear war will start from there.

VICE: Oh, man, this doesn’t sound good. Iranians can be a tad extreme.

This is inevitable, and so is the war. Parts of the ocean will be poisoned, the air too, and some of the crops, and not only in Iran but in many parts of the planet. Sea animals will start dying for no visible reason. Countries will become self-encapsulated. Those that have freshwater will not share it; those that have oil will keep it to themselves. Another thing: There will be some problems caused by an asteroid.

Geonosis asteroid battle found here

VICE: What is the future of the Middle East following the Arab Spring?

They will turn to modern Islam, and great changes are in store for their governments. They will be united around their sheikhs and have their own currency. But this and other things I should not tell you, for they are in my new book, which is due out soon.

Bedouin sheikhs found here

VICE: With previous prognostications you’ve made, many failed to come true. For instance, you predicted that Berlusconi would complete his full term, and look what happened.

I am only a tiny conductor of all this energy. I am not perfect, and good for me: Imagine the CIA abducting me, and then I’d have to work for them. Generally, I have about 80 percent reliability, plus the future can be altered by other factors.

image from the CIA museum found here

VICE: What other factors?

Humans, for example. We have been excessively investing in the material, and therefore nothing good awaits us. In 2012, people’s thinking will undergo a process of reevaluation. The flexible ones, who are fit to live with plenty and with little, shall survive, while the rest fall away.

VICE: Do you honestly believe such a change is possible?

The year started with a tragedy in Italy, and remember what happened in Japan last year. Calamities bring people together, and there are more to come. People will be continuously scanned; the computer will become an integral part of any man, like a wristwatch. We shall all be scanned, financially and otherwise, but we’ll also be watched by other civilizations. Time will be running out, and it will seem to us that life is getting shorter and shorter.

wristwatch computer found here

VICE: Won’t it be getting longer?

It surely will. Some people will look like mummies but will live as long as 150 years, thanks to advanced medicine.

image found here

VICE:  How do people of faith respond to your powers?

The Catholic Church will acknowledge the extraterrestrials, who implicitly obey God anyway, so the Vatican and the rest of the churches will have to reconsider their attitude to this particular issue. The first disconcerting thing to happen will be the discovery of God’s particle. And this is due to happen very very shortly……

Published in: on April 10, 2012 at 8:25 am  Comments (56)  
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what happened to my big beet?

The Ladies Home Journal wasn’t all about hairstyles, recipes and marriage problems in the 1900s. This is an extract from an article written by John Elfreth Watkins Jr: What May Happen in the Next 100 Years:

Prediction #3: Gymnastics will begin in the nursery, where toys and games will be designed to strengthen the muscles. Exercise will be compulsory in the schools. Every school, college and community will have a complete gymnasium. All cities will have public gymnasiums. A man or woman unable to walk ten miles at a stretch will be regarded as a weakling.

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Prediction #11: No Mosquitoes nor Flies. Insect screens will be unnecessary. Mosquitoes, house-flies and roaches will have been practically exterminated. Boards of health will have destroyed all mosquito haunts and breeding-grounds, drained all stagnant pools, filled in all swamp-lands, and chemically treated all still-water streams.

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Prediction #12: Peas as Large as Beets. Peas and beans will be as large as beets are to-day.

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Prediction #14: There will be blue, green and black roses. Roses will be as large as cabbage heads. Violets will grow to the size of orchids. A pansy will be as large in diameter as a sunflower.

Black Rose McGowan

Prediction #16: There will be No C, X or Q in our every-day alphabet. They will be abandoned because unnecessary. Spelling by sound will have been adopted, first by the newspapers. English will be a language of condensed words expressing condensed ideas.

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Prediction #17: A university education will be free to every man and woman. Poor students will be given free board, free clothing and free books if ambitious and actually unable to meet their school and college expenses. Medical inspectors regularly visiting the public schools will furnish poor children free eyeglasses, free dentistry and free medical attention of every kind.

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Prediction #18: Telephones Around the World. Wireless telephone and telegraph circuits will span the world. A husband in the middle of the Atlantic will be able to converse with his wife sitting in her boudoir in Chicago.

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Published in: on November 23, 2010 at 6:55 am  Comments (45)  
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