goatish gonads

One of our favourite characters here at the Gimcrack is Dr Serge Voronoff who has been mentioned in not one, not two, but three posts before. Serge was responsible for transplanting bits of monkey testes into aging men. John Brinkley went one step further – he became a millionaire during the twenties by transplanting goat glands instead.

Brinkley and wife found here

While working as house doctor at the Swift meatpacking company, he was dazzled by the vigorous mating activities of the goats destined for the slaughterhouse. Later, after Brinkley had gone into private practice, a farmer named Stittsworth came to see him. Stittsworth complained of a sagging libido. Recalling the goats’ frantic antics, the doctor semi-jokingly told his patient that what he needed was some goat glands. Stittsworth quickly responded, “So, Doc, put ’em in. Transplant ’em.”

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Most doctors would have ignored the bizarre request, but Brinkley was not like most doctors. In fact, he wasn’t a doctor at all. Although he had spent three years at Bennet Medical College in Chicago, he’d never graduated. He called himself a doctor on the basis of a $500 diploma he had purchased from the Eclectic Medical University of Kansas City.

“Eclectic” found here

Buying a degree from a diploma mill was not out of character for Brinkley. He had worked as a snake-oil salesman in a road show, and then, with fellow con man James Crawford, established Greenville Electro Medical Doctors. Under this name the pair injected people with colored distilled water for $25 a shot. Brinkley, therefore, had all he needed to capitalize on the farmer’s idea of goat-gland transplants: he was unethical, he had a wobbly knowledge of medicine, and he had witnessed the rambunctious behavior of goats.

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Brinkley went to work, implanting a small piece of goat gonad in Stittsworth’s testicle. Soon the farmer was thanking the doctor for giving him back his libido. And when his wife gave birth to a boy, whom they appropriately named Billy, Stittsworth spread the word further. Brinkley’s business was booming and even at $750 per transplant, he couldn’t keep up with demand. All men needed the Brinkley operation, he declared, but the procedure was most suited to the intelligent and least suited to the “stupid type.” This, of course, ensured that few of his patients would admit that they had not benefited from the operation.

Baby Billy Bob found here

Revenue from the surgeries made Brinkley an immensely wealthy man. For $5,000, he would even implant genuine human glands, which he obtained from prisoners on death row. He had mansions, a fleet of Cadillacs, airplanes, and yachts.There were occasional problems like when Brinkley decided to use angora goat testicles instead of those from the more common Toggenberg goat. Recipients of the angora testicles were unhappy—Brinkley himself noted that they reeked like a steamy barn in midsummer. 

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But ultimately Brinkley couldn’t cure himself. The Milford Messiah—as he was sometimes called—the man who had performed over 16,000 goat testicle transplants, the man who appropriately wore a goatee all his life, developed a blood clot, forcing doctors to amputate his leg. Till the very end, Brinkley’s scheming mind remained active. Confined to bed, he decided to study for the ministry and had visions of becoming a big-time preacher but he died before he could complete his degree.

the tooth fairy grows a beard

Does your local dentist charge prohibitively expensive fees? Who cares if he went to University for 5 years and has a framed degree hanging on his wall? There are cheaper ways to obtain a mouthful of pearly whites.

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“50-year-old West Virginia evangelist, Rev. Steve Jones, who describes himself as “an interdenominational Christian,” will pray for the sick and lame, but it’s cracked molars, crooked teeth, toothaches and amalgam fillings that he believes are his calling.

Since he began praying for teeth in 1987, the former coal miner and amateur boxer says he has seen crooked teeth straighten in slow motion, cracked teeth heal, and blackened amalgam fillings turn to silver and gold.

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He has practiced his orthodontic ministry across North and South America, Europe and Asia. There is no charge to hear Jones preach, but assistants pass out envelopes and ask the worshippers to make a donation toward gas money.

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“I have seen some things that would make science realize that there is a creator,” Jones told the crowd, his half-tenor, half-baritone voice now so loud that the speakers distort it. “Especially when you watch teeth move in slow motion and straighten; especially when you see God create things that wasn’t.”

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Sarasota resident Leann Schlabach came to the revival hoping Jones would heal her cracked tooth. “It feels better now; it was very sensitive before,” she said afterward.

Another Parrish resident was sure something had taken place in his mouth. “I came expecting it to happen,” he said. “When he prayed for me, I felt the right side of my face go numb.”

Afterwards the crowd filed slowly out. For some of them, Jones said, a miracle may already be in motion. “Healing doesn’t always happen there and then,” he said. “But it could happen when they’re in McDonald’s the next day.”

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Dr Willard Fuller also miraculously heals teeth, as shown by the testimonials below

For the past 43 years, this man of faith has traveled throughout all of the United States, Canada, Mexico, Europe, Russia and Australia, ministering to the needs of those who are seeking truth. 40,000 dental healings have manifested as a result of his ministry.

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“During Rev. Fuller’s hands on healing services, I have personally seen teeth move, silver fillings turn to gold, facial bone structure of the jaw move and shift into alignment, gold crowns appear and existing fillings disappear. This healing experience comes with my highest recommendation.” -Barbara Waterhouse, Minister, Center for Creative Living, Ashville.

“We watched as cavities filled, old fillings turned to gold, crooked teeth became straight, and gums healed, right before our very eyes. Michael Beckwith, Minister, Agape Church of Religious Science, Santa Monica.

“This man is a veritable traveling tooth fairy.” -The Toronto Star (Canada)

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Don’t despair if Willard doesn’t have plans to minister in your neck of the woods though. Just send him a 3″ x 5″ index card with a list of your needs on it and he’ll heal you remotely.

Send the card, with a self addressed stamped envelope to:

Lively Stone’s World Healing Fellowship

P.O. Box 396

Lloyd, FL 32337

Expect good things to happen, plus a letter from the Lively Stone’s Fellowship.