Thursday’s child has far to go

Thursday Island is at the northerly tip of Australia.

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Anyone who has spent more than a few days on Thursday Island knows the expression “Kubalah wah?”. Politely translated it means “Would you like to have sex?”. In response to this question there are only two possible answers and both of them are “Yes”.

The first means “Yes I would like to” and the second means “Yes but not with you. You are not man (or woman) enough to please me.” A favourite sport among the men, according to Eric Hansen’s book “The Bird Man and the Lap Dancer”, was to sleep, at different times, with the daughter, her mother and her grandmother. This feat was known as the Grand Slam, and according to several men and women it was a common activity enjoyed by all participants. They talked about the Grand Slam in the way that some people talked about golf.

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While staying at the Grand Hotel in the early 1980s, Hansen was introduced to the Thursday Island handshake. This is a traditional form of greeting practiced by the young and sometimes not so young island women. The “handshake” when properly executed, takes place when a stranger, dressed ideally in loose shorts without underpants, is momentarily distracted. At that precise moment the woman reaches up the man’s shorts and gives his penis a friendly tug.

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You might find this knowledge handy if you ever visit Thursday Island.

Published in: on January 27, 2011 at 9:40 am  Comments (56)  
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