William Harvey took out a patent for a Therapeutic Apparatus for Relieving Sexual Frustrations in Women without Sex Partners.
It is the object of the present invention to provide a therapeutic apparatus which utilizes a continuously erect, yet resiliently pliable artificial penis for simulated sexual intercourse wherein the penis has both the look and feel of a real male’s penis.
It is still a further object of the present invention to provide a therapeutic apparatus which provides a rapid cam-operated thrust at the end of each stroke.
It is yet another object of this invention to provide a pad encircling the base of the penis to simulate the look and feel of male pubic hair.
Furthermore, any number of positions can be enjoyed with the apparatus of the present invention by using a little imagination and practice.
I’m more than a little disturbed at the thought of an encircling pad that simulates pubic hair but I suppose that woud be the least of my worries if I ever came across Willy’s invention.
Nowadays the TAforRSFinWWSP has been well and truly superseded by Allen Stein’s ingenious Thrillhammer.
“The latest in their luxury line of sex machines features accessories only found in high end recliners. It’s a fashionable 6 foot round sofa with a sex machine hidden covertly in its base. Users of the new machine can enjoy a Shiatsu Massage while being surrounded with music and supplied with instant lubrication though its custom “Wet Platinum Auto Lube-R”.
gimcrack hospital (PG) 
So how was it for you?
I’m still waiting on someone to send me a sample
You’re waiting for someone to send you a sample!!! – oh dear, I can imagine the comments from some people ….
wishing like hell i’d done my graduatuate research in the field of ‘Teledildonics’. fucking machines… geez…
What is that guy sitting on?
Physio equipment he stole from the Gimcrack
Hows about something for us single guys, I’m getting fed up sitting on my right hand for half an hour so it goes numb and feels like somebody elses hand!
LMAO
From Russiam the economny version:
http://www.exalte.com/for-sex-toy-newbie/metamorphadildo
oh dear me…..
Sorry about the mistypes, I’m full of allergy drugs.
Are they fun drugs? Do they go better with alcohol 😉
No, they don’t. 😦 I made the mistake of drinking something twelve hours after I took the time-release tab, and it was apparently still releasing and I felt like I was on a really undesirable fairground ride. Plus they create terminal desiccation. But my eyes stop burning enough that I can see the screen…
Of course, now we have The Tesla…
Yes indeed… how could I forget the tesla….
I am yet to see that in the DFS (sofa and suite manufacturers in the UK) adverts over here as an added advantage to 4 years interest free when you buy a sofa .. they tend to send out flyers and have really naff adverts) by heck they are missing out on a huge publicity push here …..
It’s heartening to know that man with the nice voice is thinking about me and my furniture choices
The teakettle scares me.
I hope the sex sofa is scotch-guarded so that cleaning is a breeze.
The perfect kettle for teabagging.
[William Harvey took out a patent for a Therapeutic Apparatus for Relieving Sexual Frustrations in Women without Sex Partners.]
I thought men invented housework to serve that purpose 😉
cheeky 😉
I wonder if it’s a whistling kettle.
‘Users of the new machine can enjoy a Shiatsu Massage while being surrounded with music and supplied with instant lubrication though its custom “Wet Platinum Auto Lube-R”.’
Jeez, finally!
that bicycle was a hoot. I just don’t see how you focus on staying upright and pedalling forward. . . I tend to lose my abilities to do anything else when I am fully involved in sex.
LOVE the teapot! I can just see my client’s faces while they are making new appointments if that was on my stove. . .
Oh I lose that ability too HMH. That’s why I’m not a fan of the 69er…..
I feel the same. I’ve always said, “When I’m doing that, I just want to be doing it. When I’m having that done – I just want to be having it done.”
Lovely, informative post, Nurse Myra. Can’t wait to read more. 😉
Very romantic,
A nice ad tag line might be somethin like “with technologiy like the Wet Platinum Auto Lube-R you’re sure to sit up straight and pay attention.”
Now, instead of my hand, I can be blinded by SCIENCE. Thanks, myra.
And I should also add that I thought the idea of science and invention was to improve upon nature. A pad of hair? Really??
Not that I’d want a hairless man, but it seems kind of superfluous in a toy.
Yeah, I love a hairy chest but I like my sex toys smooth and easy to clean 😉
I just cut my hair and trimmed my pubes…. will I do?
LMAO
Wow and here I thought house hold appliances were boring…I am so slow.
I once converted a log splitter into a sex machine by super gluing a huge dildo to the piston head and a bicycle seat opposite. It and my ex-girlfriend are now living happily together in Costa Rica. Technology, damn you! lol
very funny Zirgar. And welcome to the Gimcrack too.
I’m having a hard time (heh,heh) seeing myself doing it with a teapot hidden in the couch, especially one that needs to be plugged in. To the electrical socket. In the wall, people!
Yeah you certainly don’t need another trip to hospital. And definitely not while attached to a teapot