when couples are failing to conceive, they often turn to IVF specialists for semen analysis. specimen collection timing should be as close to normal ejaculation frquency as possible. If, for example, a man ejaculates infrequently his sample will contain a higher than expected number of dead sperm and sloughed off cells.
it’s extremely important to collect the entire specimen because the concetration of sperm varies in different portions of your ejaculate. For 90% of the male population, the first squirt (ejaculate fraction) contains more sperm than later portions. You cannot collect a good sample by withdrawing your penis during sex and taking examples of remaining squirts.
Men who are diabetics frequently have a condition called retrograde ejaculation. It occurs when the bladder sphincter muscle, which normally directs sperm out through the penis does not close and semen squirts back into the bladder instead.
the WHO says 50 million sperm per ejaculate is now the norm. 25 years ago it was 100 million. It appears that a combination of environment and lifestyle is gradually degrading sperm counts.
makes you feel kinda sorry for the poor little critters doesn’t it?
gimcrack hospital (PG) 
Personally I do about 800 million per load, you know because I’m such a man… well thats about how many I imagine I’d do.
do you hit the ceiling?
Actually, the decrease in sperm counts is kind of scary. Bryan Sykes, in Adam’s Curse postulates that genetically, men are on the way out. Parthenogensis anyone?
Isn’t this what Valerie Solanas wanted all along?
I’ve heard that sperm from different donors have a war if you mix them. How about testing that out, Nursie? I bet you’d get load of volunteers if you offered a milking service.
indeed they do have wars!
Oh ….. I thought it was a picture of novelty balloons ……..
I thought they were kind of like snowflakes, no two exactly alike!
Infrequent ejaculation results in a medical condition known as “blue balls.” You get pretty crabby, too. Believe me.
Maybe all those WHO researchers just got bored. I mean, who has time to count 100 million little wriggly things?
the “shapeless head” looks a little like Tony Bennett… wonder where he left his heart?
Is it wrong of me to think that some of those little spermy shapes would make fab earrings…?
No, no nurse – the question is, does he stucco the ceiling?
So frequent ejaculation makes stronger sperm? Then mine have biceps.
Not sure about quality but you can roughly check sperm count yourself without a microscope. Just stick a fresh bit on a glass slide and direct a very strong light through it, sunlight from a magnifying shaving mirror is ideal. (But not so focused as to fry it!) The movement of a healthy number of sperm can be seen as a pronounced shimmering.
PS If I have mentioned this before, may I remind you that you are trained to be nice to senile old gits who keep repeating things.
Oh, you do crack me up, Nurse Myra.
no, you haven’t mentioned this before. how do I get my hands on some sperm so I can perform this experiment?
and yes… I know I’ve left an opening for an enterprising commenter…..
hiya Ms Coyote… how’s the cake baking coming along?
nursemyra… thank you for solving a mystery. For some time, we’d been after daddy papersurfer to reveal what exactly it was that he smooshed for Olga’s new smoosh your boobies blog, and I see from that diagram, one little fellow that looks quite similar to his smooshing.
No wonder he wouldn’t tell. rofl.
Wow, my sperm is like, endangered. I should be getting money from the Green Party or some shit…
I hit many things…
Sorry I’m late getting here – I must start earlier next time I come – – –
I was thinking. If 25 years ago, sperm counts were double… does that mean they’re counting sperm from young guys and getting these results? So is that the argument for having sex with old guys? Heck… I just wrote (at fracas) about Mexico giving free Viagra to the elderly. Now that I’ve thought about it, it seems like a plot to take over the world.
Doesn’t it?
Gosh myra… you provide invaluable information here!
I just read your post and it’s very very scary…..
I like the curly wurly one!
I don’t know nursemyra, just think about all the cranky old ladies that won’t have to be so cranky anymore?
But we still need to convince those governments handing out free viagra, that they should hand out spanks free to all the old women so as to prevent a huge crisis with old men out harassing the young ‘uns.
I presume you’re talking about Spanks underwear and not a few slaps on the bottom 🙂
Nothing wrong with a few spanks (small s). Or as someone said, “paddle your own canoe.”
I was referring to the underwear, but if some old gal out there is looking for the other kind, I’m sure you know someone at the Gimcrack who might oblige her.
Some medications have the retrograde ejaculation side effect, especially some of the new mood stabilizers. These medications can make it easier for you to get diabetes too. Weed is a dangerous drug though.