Stephen Birch 1961 – 2007

For Stephen

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Published in: on September 1, 2007 at 6:59 pm  Comments (45)  

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45 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m so sorry.

    I know we’ve just recently met, but you’ve been in my thoughts so much since your last post. And this one … I love that Auden poem so much. And it’s causing a cascade of tears over here, still thinking of you and hoping you find your miracle.

    Take care.

  2. Much love, comfort and thoughts from me plus this poem which hopefully you will understand.. not now… but in the future.. thinking about you in your sorrow (if I could I would give you a big hug)

    Remember me when I am gone away,
    Gone far away into the silent land;
    When you can no more hold me by the hand,
    Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
    Remember me when no more, day by day,
    You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
    Only remember me; you understand
    It will be late to counsel then or pray.
    Yet if you should forget me for a while
    And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
    For if the darkness and corruption leave
    A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
    Better by far you should forget and smile
    Than that you should remember and be sad

    Christina Rossetti

  3. I’m so sorry. Beautiful dedication….

  4. nothing feels right to write, very very sad, thinking of you.xx

  5. I’m so sorry. Sylvie is right. We who are always so full of words, can think of only two. I’m sorry. Hugs for you.

  6. I am so sorry for your loss.
    We are all thinking of you and sending our love x

  7. My deepest sympathies, nursie. That’s a lovely poem. I’ve always found this one to be comforting. Maybe it’ll help you too.

  8. I may not have the words, but I have tears for you and your love. He was too young to leave, yet he will now be forever young in your memories. To leave good memories behind is the mark of a good person. Please accept my deepest sympathies, my friend.

  9. with love. and sadness. x

  10. X

  11. Stay strong Nurse M.

    I know you’ve read these words before, but even now they still give me a strange sort of comfort:

    …when our laughter ends,
    And hearts and bodies, brown as white,
    Are dust about the doors of friends,
    Or scent ablowing down the night,
    Then, oh! then, the wise agree,
    Comes our immortality.
    ~ Rupert Brooke – Tiare Tahiti

    Big hug.

  12. May you find peace and comfort in your memories and in the knowledge that your most beloved is at peace, free from pain. My sympathies on your loss.

  13. My sympathies and condolences are with you, my dear Nurse.


  14. I am thinking good thoughts for you. Your last two posts have been heartbreaking. Take good care of yourself.

  15. I am so sorry. I’ll light a candle for Stephen tonight. My heart breaks for you.

  16. The inevitable. Theblogfairy Gracie Belle, Santa Claus, and Zubli Zainordin co-authors of the She Walks In Beauty blog, we send you wholesome love and beauty in its entirety, as the sun surely shall continue to rise, allowing the moon to take her turn, while the North, East, South, West, remain intact, such as the memory of true love, when love does, as it usually is last not forever, as in till death do us apart, you are now raised to a level of wisdom, to being a star so shining bright, for he shall do the same if it is the other way round, and the goodness of a good deed you do next, shall add to the ocean wave hitting the shore, a sound so nice that can be heard in the dimension he is now waiting you for the ultimate reunion of true love in the next chapter of a life together…forever, as for now, we are here extending love and beauty, at She Walks In Beauty, just for you our love.

  17. Such sorrow,
    Fills tomorrow,
    Oh so sad,
    The worst pain ever to be had…

    Know that loving hearts will be,
    Around you as you heal, look around and see,
    Love comes to you from every corner of the Earth, it is true,
    We are here surrounding, praying, hugging, and, comforting you…

    Nothing will ever erase the sorrow which you now feel,
    Understood is the agony with which you now deal,
    Just realize, that our hearts are heavy as you grieve,
    And that our love will never leave…

    The future will see you smile again,
    As you walk out of the realms of pain,
    There we will be, watching for a sign,
    That you are through the storm, and that you are fine…

    May God be your strength in this trying time,
    May He guide you into the sublime,
    Place your sorrow in His mighty hands,
    For He, more than anyone understands…

  18. I am sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest sympathy.

    I am with you still — I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not think of me as gone — I am with you still — in each new dawn

  19. Oh my I truly know that there are no words at this time that can really magically do anything to help your pain in your heart. I have lost many many people in my liftime that were very near and dear. The words come and later we can look back and know that so many cared. But, I also know that right now…you’re heart is breaking and nothing much can change that at this time. However, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Sometimes it is hard to see the way into life’s mysteries….I am so deeply heartbroken for you…May God Bless you and be with you at this very difficult time. I am lighting a candle for you at my blog so others as well can send their prayers. God Bless~jackie

  20. So very sorry…

  21. I am so sorry.


  22. I wish I had some words to make you feel better but I don’t. I do however, know what it feels like to lose your favorite person in the whole world. It feels like a big part of yourself has just been riped out of you. I can tell you that drinking,smoking, drugging yourself, and eating a bunch will not make you feel better. It will only make you drunk,sick,stinky,high, and bloated. Maybe you can take a few days off to mourn the loss of your friend. How long will you mourn? Here in the good old US most companies will give a whole 3 days ot get over it. I say 1000 days. You will mourn and be sad for 1000 days. Then you will be able to put it behind you and move on. It helps to have an end date in sight believe me! (((hugs)))

  23. […] Stephen Birch 1961 – 2007 […]

  24. I’m very sorry to hear this. There is nothing I can say but that he will not be forgotten, and somehow he has not ended but continues on, in your memory, in your tribute, and in the consciousness of everyone who has known either of you. I hope you take some comfort in that.

  25. He stays with you as long as you are in this life, and karma keeps you connected for the next life. So very sorry for the pain you are feeling. Wonderful correspondents you have, they must make you feel loved and supported. One minute at a time, one day at a time.

  26. He is making room for more life. He doesn’t sound like the selfish sort, if you love him like you do.

    There needs to be room for life to continue.

    The rising and falling of the curain is part of the show.

    Be thankful you had tickets to see him.

  27. […] you like the pink and black. someone special liked […]

  28. […] (making light of a serious topic) regular readers know nursemyra lost someone special recently. spending an evening blogging (about nursing, sex, medicine and appliances) is one of […]

  29. […] a tergo nursemyra loves the smell of sperm in the morning. well I did when stephen was alive. it’s been a sad few months now since I’ve savoured that particular fesh […]

  30. I had not read this before. I cannot imagine what this kind of loss must feel like.

    This poem, by Robetr Frost, captures, for me, some of the beauty and sadness of life. The desire to stop, and contemplate the past, and perhaps lose oneself in it “the woods are lovely, dark and deep”. And then the self-shake, and the weary realization that one must go on.

    Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

    Whose woods these are I think I know.
    His house is in the village though;
    He will not see me stopping here
    To watch his woods fill up with snow.

    My little horse must think it queer
    To stop without a farmhouse near
    Between the woods and frozen lake
    The darkest evening of the year.

    He gives his harness bells a shake
    To ask if there is some mistake.
    The only other sound’s the sweep
    Of easy wind and downy flake.

    The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
    But I have promises to keep,
    And miles to go before I sleep,
    And miles to go before I sleep.

    Always brings tears to my eyes.

    Good luck in your “miles to go”.

  31. thank pushbiker. I’ve always loved that poem as well.

  32. […] duster was stephen’s Published […]

  33. […] I’m not attracted to very old or very young men. my favourite erection was attached to a man in his forties but we don’t have any patients in that age group at the […]

  34. […] night before I found this Ultra Vixen tee, Stephen and I had been to the Mu Meson Archives which is a groovy little film club that plays at a local […]

  35. […] available lingam but maybe I’ve been drinking too much red wine which always makes me miss stephen even more […]

  36. […] I shall wear purple ok it’s t-shirt friday – no word yet on who’s playing along. Stephen bought me this t-shirt in New York. it’s also what I was wearing while holding him when he […]

  37. […] There’s not much of a story behind this t shirt except that it belonged to Stephen. It’s one of the items of clothing that I keep sealed in a plastic bag in the hope that it […]

  38. I’m so sorry, my deepest sympathies.
    What a lovely poem and think about it: He stays with you as long as you’re in this life, in your heart, your mind and everywhere.
    That is all what I can say.

  39. Thank you

  40. This is beautiful, my dear. Love is grand . . .

  41. […] Stephen cast the faces of several of his artist friends for an exhibition in 2004 called Cosmos. You can see some examples here at the New Zealand Chartwell Collection website. Published in: […]

  42. […] So…..I’ve been blogging for over five years now. Many of you have been with me through the loss of Stephen, […]

  43. A truly deeply felt tribute, beautifully worded. Pour away the ocean… sweep up the woods… just beautiful.

  44. Such a beautiful tribute….so sorry for your loss. (hugs)

  45. indeed a beautiful tribute, Nursie.

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